I got into uni without try, I want to turn myself around - advice?

1.

I REALLY want to be an architect: I had work experience as an Architect before applying with a friend's dad and I simply loved it. I had decided that the job was the right fit: it was satisfying my need for a creative outlet; it was social; it was different every single day and you got to see your work displayed in public for years to come (which is kind of cool). When I was banged up at 4:00am with a deadline looming, having had no social life, sleep and sometimes even food and all I wanted to do was throw my work out the window and run away, what got me through this was the fact that I knew for a fact I loved the job and this was the only way I was going to get where I wanted to be.

This was helped in summer after 2nd year where I went for a longer work experience and realised that the place I had originally worked for was crap (although they were all males, they didn't stop bitching about each other in the office and as a result they never talked and it was always so tense! I didn't realise that at the time though) that really helped though the notorious 3rd year finals.

I you have a career you really want and I imagine you do with the course you're doing hold onto it and don't let go. When you feel horrible and want to just sit in front of the telly think "If I fail would I get this chance again?" or "Could I honestly get a job with x marks/ x degree result?" If the answer is no.... get your butt in gear!

2.

My Father is a bit of a results fiend: When it came to results my dad always expected the best. He always wanted me to go to a uni (he didn't care which mind) and he wanted me to do something which he thought would immediately lead me to a career (e.g. Not Geography or English but Maths/Accountancy or Pharmacy etc.) I also knew that he would not take kindly to me dropping out and would say "But its only x years and then you can do whatever you like" i.e a graduate job if I didn't want to do what I was studying.

By this stage, I wasn't usually in a state to care about anyone but myself so it didn't usually work but was certainly an added factor. I realise not all people will have a relative who is as active/interested in your education as mine was but it may help to phone them to say how your doing or something. You do it often enough and they might get into asking you to put a level of pressure on you .... maybe. Maybe you could think of how proud they would be to come to your graduation or how proud they would be if you got your 1st? Would they be disappointed (even though they probably wouldn't say) if you failed or dropped out? Would they keep bailing you out if you attempted stuff and never finished them? Would you like the chance to wave the piece of paper around and say I did it on my own without them nagging you to do your homework? Graduation is a wonderful day for your family especially if you're the first in your family to go just think about what achieving that 1st would do for them.

3.

People who care get you through it: By far the greatest thing that kept me going and working hard was my fella. He was nothing short of a star! and I'm quite certain that I wouldn't have that degree without him. He would keep me working late at night; he was company when work made me lonely (quite often he'd just sit with me watching a film next to me while I worked and stopped me procrastinating when it was getting late) and when I broke down crying and yelling that I couldn't do it he would convince me otherwise.

However this was not just one directional! He is a typical boy-nerd, too much time on the Xbox not enough time studying (or outside for that matter!) He is much like you, always clever enough to get by (well) and never does any revision. And during revision period his revision day once lasted 30mins and I'm not joking. From then on in I moaned at him that he was going to fail if he wasn't careful and when results came for the sitting he got a nasty surprise. For the next sitting, I had to teach him how to revise cause he didn't know how to do it without getting bored (GSCEs and Alevel he hadn't needed to) and I would shout at him if I thought he didn't work hard enough and mister clever clogs managed to get a higher mark than he wanted for his degree. So we nag each other and we get each other through and without each other we wouldn't have gotten our marks.

Of course I'm not suggesting for a second that you need a gf/bf not keep motivated, that's just nonsense it's just in my extreme case it worked for me because I needed someone to get me through my torturous course that believed in me and forced me to do what needed to be done (gosh! I feel like I'm reciting the scene in Half blood Prince when Dumbledore needs to drink that horrible potion ). I do believe however it is your friends that care whether you fail or not that keep you going. If you could get a buddy (ideally on your course) that really gets you and can keep you on the straight and narrow and you can go round at any time of night when your down and can help you with your work if your stuck then your sailing!

From my experience, I felt that being strict on myself was hard but being strict on others was easier so if you manage to find another person who feels the same way you can help each other out. You can give each other the kick up the backside when you need it and equally you can pat each other on the back when you do well.