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Reply 20
Original post by pandabird
Hang on a second, you're saying it's acceptable for an 18 year old to hit a child of 13?? You do realise the difference in maturity levels (it's more understandable why the 13 year old hit out because she is a lot less mature and hasn't quite got full control of her emotions) and the fact that an 18 year old hitting a 13 year old is likely to cause more pain than the other way around??

Just because you assumed that the OP is male, you blindly brought out the 'a man is allowed to hit a woman back!!!11' card. Think about it rationally.

:rofl:

It doesn't matter what gender/sex the siblings are. It doesn't matter whether the older one is more mature or can inflict more pain than the younger one. If one steps out of line, the other is entitled to address it by whatever means necessary (as long as it's not extreme).

I have no problem with parents giving their kids a smack for stepping out of line. Sometimes that's the only way to get the kids to behave.

Siblings are no different. Sometimes, the younger sibling needs a smack to get him/her to behave.
Reply 21
I don't believe that what I did hurt my sister physically, but what is making me fell really guilty is the fact that she left the room crying, I can honestly say that I've never made her cry before in my life :frown:

I still haven't spoken to her yet, we just seem to be kinda avoiding each other at this stage. I was actually expecting her to have ratted me out to my mother, which she hasn't done yet, surprisingly.
Reply 22
I don't believe what I did hurt my sister physically, but she did leave the room crying which is what has upset me. i mean she was fine when it was just me and her in the room and she was fighting with me as much as i was with her, as soon as my older sister entered she was crying, and i can honestly say ive never made my sister cry before by something ive done. :frown:

we're just sorta avoiding eachother at the moment and no ones even brought up the fight, so i doubt she's told my mum, but i don't know whether i should make a big deal out of it or just let it lie ???
Reply 23
Original post by pandabird
Hang on a second, you're saying it's acceptable for an 18 year old to hit a child of 13??


Why ****ing not?


You do realise there is a difference in maturity levels


So that means that the older sibling will be more sensible in his actions


- it's more understandable why the 13 year old hit out because she is less mature and hasn't quite got full control of her emotions.


Yes and that the have not started puberty yet so are still children


And also the fact that an 18 year old hitting a 13 year old is likely to cause more pain than the other way around??


The pain can be used as a lesson for doing wrong, there are 18s who batter them :frown:



I completely disagree that the OP was perfectly entitled to hit back because of that.


Well we do not know the circumstances to conclude that

Just because you assumed that the OP is male, you blindly brought out the 'a man is allowed to hit a woman back!!!11' card. Think about it rationally.


That card is valid, but the little girl needs to act like a lady and be attracted to men

Having said that OP, you don't need to be told it's wrong because you know that. Besides, we've all done similar things. Just apologise and move on.


Yes he will but the baby would have learnt her lesson
Original post by Cable
Uh oh...here comes the "Women/girls can do no wrong" brigade.

OP, ignore monkyvirus' advice. It's a load of rubbish.

Don't feel guilty about what you did. You were well within your right to hit her back after hitting you first.

Since you're the older one, it might be a good idea to initiate an adult conversation between both of you and resolve your differences. If she's not willing to cooperate and wants to continue trying to wind you up, you have to put her in her place.

Don't take crap from her. If she messes around, let her know who's boss.

Ya feel me?


Am I seriously reading a post which advocates an eighteen year old (adult) hitting a thirteen year old girl?
Reply 25
Original post by HighwayUnicorn
It's not that serious. I'm 18 and I get into stupid arguments with my younger sister all the time :colonhash: Just let things cool off for the rest of today and then see if things are better tomorrow and apologize if necessary.


This - siblings fight all the time, and it can still get physical even when you're older. My younger sister tried to bludgeon me to death with a tea caddy the other day (fighting over the water in the kettle). You just have to try and restrain yourself in the future, but don't beat yourself up over something small like that.
Original post by WGR
You can't be serious, she's the one who attacked him in the first place, he merely hit her while defending himself by pushing her away. It's not like he went out of his way to hit her. She's the one with anger issues. By all means he should say he's sorry for hitting her but so should she. Making a grovelling apology will only validate her behavior.


What if the OP was her parent? Would we even be having this conversation? No because as the adult in the situation they should control themselves no matter what the child does. I mention the mediator because the child could very well be afraid after what happened. Being hit by an adult is not the same as being hit by a fellow child.

As I acknowledged, if it was just a shove the apology would suffice. I mentioned the extra bits because the OP can't remember if they hit her because they were so angry, this sounds like an anger problem to me. If your so enraged you can't remember what you did that is a problem. It's the only reason I took the OP's post more seriously than just a spat between siblings.


Original post by Cable
Uh oh...here comes the "Women/girls can do no wrong" brigade.

OP, ignore monkyvirus' advice. It's a load of rubbish.

Don't feel guilty about what you did. You were well within your right to hit her back after hitting you first.

Since you're the older one, it might be a good idea to initiate an adult conversation between both of you and resolve your differences. If she's not willing to cooperate and wants to continue trying to wind you up, you have to put her in her place.

Don't take crap from her. If she messes around, let her know who's boss.

Ya feel me?


OP please don't take advice from someone who thinks you should hit children "to put them in their place"
Reply 27
Original post by monkyvirus
What if the OP was her parent? Would we even be having this conversation? No because as the adult in the situation they should control themselves no matter what the child does. I mention the mediator because the child could very well be afraid after what happened. Being hit by an adult is not the same as being hit by a fellow child.

As I acknowledged, if it was just a shove the apology would suffice. I mentioned the extra bits because the OP can't remember if they hit her because they were so angry, this sounds like an anger problem to me. If your so enraged you can't remember what you did that is a problem. It's the only reason I took the OP's post more seriously than just a spat between siblings.




OP please don't take advice from someone who thinks you should hit children "to put them in their place"

Many parents smack their children which is far worse because it is premeditated and often prolonged. OP simply lashed out in anger for a brief second presumably while defending himself. They're are also virtually both kids. Both young and 5 years difference between them. If they were both male nobody would be half as horrified in this thread.

13 year olds male or female can be pretty big, this is not the same as hitting a toddler that scratched you. Infact I know a 13 year old girl who is my mum's friend's daughter. Haven't seen her since she was 5 but I heard that nowadays she's over 5 feet, overweight and recently smashed up the house and attacked her mum because she complained about her smoking
Lol. My brother is nearly 23 and still enjoys beating the CRAP out of me - his best and only 15 year old sistah. I deserve it though...some of my comments may be a tad too witty. I also fight a lot with ny younger, 13 year old brother who happens to be a skinny giant at like 6ft already. Oh well...at least I always win verbally?

Posted from TSR Mobile
Original post by WGR
Many parents smack their children which is far worse because it is premeditated and often prolonged. OP simply lashed out in anger for a brief second presumably while defending himself. They're are also virtually both kids. Both young and 5 years difference between them. If they were both male nobody would be half as horrified in this thread.

13 year olds male or female can be pretty big, this is not the same as hitting a toddler that scratched you. Infact I know a 13 year old girl who is my mum's friend's daughter. Haven't seen her since she was 5 but I heard that nowadays she's over 5 feet, overweight and recently smashed up the house and attacked her mum because she complained about her smoking


My point was we wouldn't be arguing about if it was acceptable if the OP was the parent as it clearly wouldn't be. 5 years is a big age gap IMO and at 18 you're an adult and should know better (I would expect even a 16 year old to show more restraint). I would definitely have said the same thing no matter what the genders were (can't speak for anyone else).

However, I understand that some young teens can be big, intimidating and/or violent but that still doesn't make it right if you're the adult. Though the younger sibling is in the wrong as well I think the older person has more responsibility to do the right thing. For the record, I personally see nothing wrong with restraining a violent child it is hitting them that I have issue with.

I realise my first post sounded like an over reaction and I think I might have read too much into the OP's original statement that they can't remember what they did. This is what made me worry there may be a more serious anger management problem here. I may be totally off base with that but only the OP will know for sure if I am.
Reply 30
Don't apologise cause then she'll walk all over you.
She also hit you first and all you did was retaliate/defend yourself.
Also the kid is a teenager, she should be old enough to know better than to lash out violently.
People fail to realise that youths are getting more violent.

The OP defended themselves, how are you guys to judge?
Around my area some 14 year olds beat up a 19 year old, are you saying that if she retaliated the slightest then shes in the wrong? I would also like to add that she ended up in hospital in a short coma.



Posted from TSR Mobile
(edited 10 years ago)
Should've beat her down.
Original post by Alexandra's Box
She hit you first.


Yes but she's also 13. The OP is quite a bit older. Not to say she didn't deserve it though
Reply 33
Apologise for shoving her but make it clear that her striking out first in anger is a wrong thing to do.

In future, assuming that you're the stronger sibling you should try and hold your temper a little bit more. A 13 year old's slap probably won't do as much damage as an 18 year old's.


Original post by monkyvirus
My point was we wouldn't be arguing about if it was acceptable if the OP was the parent as it clearly wouldn't be. 5 years is a big age gap IMO and at 18 you're an adult and should know better (I would expect even a 16 year old to show more restraint). I would definitely have said the same thing no matter what the genders were (can't speak for anyone else).

However, I understand that some young teens can be big, intimidating and/or violent but that still doesn't make it right if you're the adult. Though the younger sibling is in the wrong as well I think the older person has more responsibility to do the right thing. For the record, I personally see nothing wrong with restraining a violent child it is hitting them that I have issue with.

I realise my first post sounded like an over reaction and I think I might have read too much into the OP's original statement that they can't remember what they did. This is what made me worry there may be a more serious anger management problem here. I may be totally off base with that but only the OP will know for sure if I am.



Yeah, if you were so angry that you can't remember what you actually did, then that's pretty bad.
Reply 34
I know EXACTLY how you feel. Once I had this fight with my younger brother I was actually trying to make him calm down, but when he gets angry he gets crazily violent and just decided to swing out and kick me for no reason and with no thought to it I just got him in the face and gave him a bruise on his eye. Since then I've never used violence on my siblings since I don't think the feeling of guilt has ever been so powerful and strong for me.
My brother does the same but i dont feel like telling my mother because we still haven't sorted out who sexually harassed me with the police it doesn't help that im 12 and its been happening since my childhood friend died/around 5yrs ago she saved me when needed most.
Original post by Moosferatu
Should've beat her down.

Old method works.
Reply 37
Original post by NimrahNisa
A 13 year old is not a child but a teenager and knows that it is wrong to hit adults. Children are also supposed to respect their elders. Who says children can't be evil?Children have also committed murders!You did the right thing, now she knows the consequences.Once my 9 year old brother hit me for 7 days and on the 8th day, I smacked him and he never hit me after that.

Why are you digging up a thread that is 6 years old?
Practice kindness and compassion more often !
Original post by WGR
You can't be serious, she's the one who attacked him in the first place, he merely hit her while defending himself by pushing her away. It's not like he went out of his way to hit her. She's the one with anger issues. By all means he should say he's sorry for hitting her but so should she. Making a grovelling apology will only validate her behavior.


Original post by Surnia
Why are you digging up a thread that is 6 years old?

probs didn't see the date

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