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Best friend owes me money

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    Recently, my best friend (like bestest ever friend, bffls) and I had an argument over money. She owes me like well over £26, and every time I'm like "bro do you have my money yet?" She's all like "no I'm so broke, o woe is me my parents have split up and we hardly have any money"

    I get that her family is poor and that, she has a job which earns her like £25 a month, but it's getting ridiculous. She's "so poor/broke" but she can afford to buy crap loads of new trendy clothes so she can take pictures of herself and post them on tumblr and get loads of notes, she can afford a £16 train ticket to Leicester square to see one direction at their movie premiere (which she promised she'd go with me and didn't), she can afford to go to the cinema to see one direction's movie (again, without me unlike she promised), she can afford to buy tickets to a sleeping with sirens gig as well as tickets to a 5 seconds of summer gig. She can afford all these things, but when it comes to paying off her debts there is literally no money in sight.

    Am I in the wrong for confronting her about this and was I rightfully called a bitch, or was I correct in setting her straight and telling her to get her **** together and sort out her priorities?

    Life is so difficult when you don't have money and she's going to be in so much **** when she's older if she doesn't put her debts before her luxuries.

    It's just really ****ed me off that she's doing all this, and then I lay down my pride and send her an apology letter because I know that I'm literally the least subtle person ever and might have accidentally offended her (even though she still called me a bitch and implied that she'd thought I was a bitch for a long time and doesn't deserve half of the apology I gave her), and she has failed to contact me back - instead, she leaves ****ing bitchy indirects on her twitter account.

    For a "bestest friendship", this is feeling SO one sided. I'm a loyal friend and I've done my part. I'm getting the vibe that she isn't worth all the effort. Sigh.


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    loool thats nothing hahahha... someone owes me more money than that. When you lend money to someone, make sure you don't need it back as they might not give it back. If you are not willing to lose that money, don't give it. It is generally a bad idea to lend money to people anyway because some people don't intend on paying it back.
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    (Original post by heyitstommo)
    Recently, my best friend (like bestest ever friend, bffls) and I had an argument over money. She owes me like well over £26, and every time I'm like "bro do you have my money yet?" She's all like "no I'm so broke, o woe is me my parents have split up and we hardly have any money"

    I get that her family is poor and that, she has a job which earns her like £25 a month, but it's getting ridiculous. She's "so poor/broke" but she can afford to buy crap loads of new trendy clothes so she can take pictures of herself and post them on tumblr and get loads of notes, she can afford a £16 train ticket to Leicester square to see one direction at their movie premiere (which she promised she'd go with me and didn't), she can afford to go to the cinema to see one direction's movie (again, without me unlike she promised), she can afford to buy tickets to a sleeping with sirens gig as well as tickets to a 5 seconds of summer gig. She can afford all these things, but when it comes to paying off her debts there is literally no money in sight.

    Am I in the wrong for confronting her about this and was I rightfully called a bitch, or was I correct in setting her straight and telling her to get her **** together and sort out her priorities?

    Life is so difficult when you don't have money and she's going to be in so much **** when she's older if she doesn't put her debts before her luxuries.

    It's just really ****ed me off that she's doing all this, and then I lay down my pride and send her an apology letter because I know that I'm literally the least subtle person ever and might have accidentally offended her (even though she still called me a bitch and implied that she'd thought I was a bitch for a long time and doesn't deserve half of the apology I gave her), and she has failed to contact me back - instead, she leaves ****ing bitchy indirects on her twitter account.

    For a "bestest friendship", this is feeling SO one sided. I'm a loyal friend and I've done my part. I'm getting the vibe that she isn't worth all the effort. Sigh.


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    Pretty much what I would probably feel the same. And not being funny, but I feel any decent person would feel the need to return borrowed money.

    I hope she isn't using this 'best friend' as an excuse and presume 'Oh she won't mind if I don't pay her back for a while or at all! Taking advantage like. Obviously shows from her reaction.'
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    It seems this 'bestest friendship' isn't as rosy as you think.
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    (Original post by Sine)
    loool thats nothing hahahha... someone owes me more money than that. When you lend money to someone, make sure you don't need it back as they might not give it back. If you are not willing to lose that money, don't give it. It is generally a bad idea to lend money to people anyway because some people don't intend on paying it back.
    It's a shame that I'm only just realising that. Should've listened to my nana, "don't be a borrower or a lender" I wouldn't be in this **** if I did. Thanks for the reply.


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    (Original post by MangaDreams)
    Pretty much what I would probably feel the same. And not being funny, but I feel any decent person would feel the need to return borrowed money.

    I hope she isn't using this 'best friend' as an excuse and presume 'Oh she won't mind if I don't pay her back for a while or at all! Taking advantage like. Obviously shows from her reaction.'
    I thought she was a decent person but everything's changing as we're growing up and realising that everything's different from what we first thought. She doesn't use the best friend excuse, she just tries to avoid having to pay it back, says she wants to "get all the money" she owes before giving it back. Ill lucky if I get THAT back before I die. She owes so much money to just about everybody. Thanks for replying.


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    (Original post by Dualcore)
    It seems this 'bestest friendship' isn't as rosy as you think.
    Yep only just realising that now unfortunately. Thankfully I'll be at college soon so I won't need to associate with her anymore. Thanks for the reply.


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    (Original post by heyitstommo)
    Yep only just realising that now unfortunately. Thankfully I'll be at college soon so I won't need to associate with her anymore. Thanks for the reply.


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    I'm sure you'll meet some nice people
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    (Original post by heyitstommo)
    Yep only just realising that now unfortunately. Thankfully I'll be at college soon so I won't need to associate with her anymore. Thanks for the reply.


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    You wouldn't be saying this if you guys were best of the best friends. REAL friends do not define their friendship over money. It seems like money is more important to you than the friendship, which is a shame.
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    (Original post by Dualcore)
    I'm sure you'll meet some nice people
    Yeah hopefully


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    (Original post by kidomo)
    You wouldn't be saying this if you guys were best of the best friends. REAL friends do not define their friendship over money. It seems like money is more important to you than the friendship, which is a shame.
    Dude you don't even know me. Our friendship outside of the whole money situation was brilliant, but when I confronted her about her spending priorities, the true colours showed. Like, I didn't realise that a stimulus aka the money, would be the thing that made her run for the hills.


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    Lending money to friends just creates so many unnecessary hassle and dramas. Hopefully you get your money back and learn from your lesson for the foreseeable future.
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    (Original post by Jokerjon)
    Lending money to friends just creates so many unnecessary hassle and dramas. Hopefully you get your money back and learn from your lesson for the foreseeable future.
    Yeah, I've had to learn it the hard way unfortunately. Thank you for your reply.


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    Pretty much same thing happened to me. Payed for my friends lunches because I felt bad that she didn't have lunch, NEVER got the money back. Yet she had the money to go to movies, concerts,shopping,chocolate ..*sigh*


    She basically used me for my money.


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    (Original post by Blob :))
    Pretty much same thing happened to me. Payed for my friends lunches because I felt bad that she didn't have lunch, NEVER got the money back. Yet she had the money to go to movies, concerts,shopping,chocolate ..*sigh*


    She basically used me for my money.


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    I'm sorry to hear that, man. It sucks, doesn't it? I should've learnt my lesson ages ago, but I just feel bad for my mates too easily and then I end up in situations like this. ****. Thanks for replying.


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    (Original post by heyitstommo)
    I'm sorry to hear that, man. It sucks, doesn't it? I should've learnt my lesson ages ago, but I just feel bad for my mates too easily and then I end up in situations like this. ****. Thanks for replying.


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    Yep it does suck a lot :/ that's exactly how I am!! I've had people lecture me for being too kind to other people..now I've stopped a bit it's okay

    If she's using you for your money then she's not your friend


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    (Original post by Blob :))
    Yep it does suck a lot :/ that's exactly how I am!! I've had people lecture me for being too kind to other people..now I've stopped a bit it's okay

    If she's using you for your money then she's not your friend


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    I'm gonna turn into a cynical distrusting bastard *cackle*

    It's not so much that she was using me for my money, because half of the time it's me going "oh I'll pay for it and you can pay me back later!". It's just the pay me back later that she doesn't understand. She wants to get all the money she owes together before she pays off her debts, which ill be lucky to see before I die *eye roll*.


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    (Original post by heyitstommo)
    Recently, my best friend (like bestest ever friend, bffls) and I had an argument over money. She owes me like well over £26, and every time I'm like "bro do you have my money yet?" She's all like "no I'm so broke, o woe is me my parents have split up and we hardly have any money"

    Am I in the wrong for confronting her about this and was I rightfully called a bitch, or was I correct in setting her straight and telling her to get her **** together and sort out her priorities?

    It's just really ****ed me off that she's doing all this, and then I lay down my pride and send her an apology letter because I know that I'm literally the least subtle person ever and might have accidentally offended her (even though she still called me a bitch and implied that she'd thought I was a bitch for a long time and doesn't deserve half of the apology I gave her), and she has failed to contact me back - instead, she leaves ****ing bitchy indirects on her twitter account.

    For a "bestest friendship", this is feeling SO one sided. I'm a loyal friend and I've done my part. I'm getting the vibe that she isn't worth all the effort. Sigh.


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    She sounds like she's treating you like ****. Best friends don't let you down, and she sounds like she's been doing that a lot. I think you should tell her you're fed up of her treating you that way and the fact that she's in a difficult situation doesn't justify refusing to pay you back. It's not your fault she's got a **** job and only earns 25 a month, how is that even possible? Minimum wage is like 5 pounds-ish, she should be earning that amount per shift.

    You weren't in the wrong but by apologising you have given her the impression that she has the moral high ground here. I've done the same though, when you don't want to lose someone so you apologise to try to make up even if they're the one at fault.

    I think it sounds like she's had the money to pay you back for a while and she's not going to do it, so I'd stop wasting your time with her and give up on her. If you meant a lot to her (and you should, you lent her 26 quid) then she would pay you back ASAP, the fact that she has not shows how much respect she has for you. She probably thinks you're a pushover and thinks she can take advantage of your generosity and you won't stand up for yourself.

    Tbh, she sounds like a right cow.

    Speaking from experience I have treated some friends poorly in the past, in the way she's treated you because I felt they were too kind for their own good and I got annoyed when they pulled me up on it and made me feel like a bad friend (which I was). It's much easier to borrow 25 quid than it is to pay it back (as those poor people who trust Wonga.com find out) and I expect her anger at you will come from knowing she's in the wrong herself. But she'd probably rather blame you than herself because people like to tell themselves they're good people, especially when they're not behaving like it. It's easy to forgive someone when they're in the wrong, but when they're in the right and you're the one at fault it can be really hard to accept.

    I've also been on the receiving end of a friendship turned sour because all the other person does is TAKE TAKE TAKE. When it comes to something like refusing to pay back borrowed money, it shows a marked disrespect for you.

    And the fact that she is making indirect and insulting tweets and "VAGUEBOOKING" against you, shows that she is downright immature.

    I think she sounds like she deserves a slap, but be the better person and walk away with your head held high. Even if she continues to post indirect statues/tweets, or holds a grudge about you asking for your money back, people will see that she's the idiot if you don't indulge her, and you'll feel better about yourself if you just pull out of there and don't look back. Ditch her because she sounds like a dead weight and she'll only bring you down.

    Sometimes a relationship is so bad the only thing you can do is leave, and there's no shame in that.
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    This is how you get your money back

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gzKAut3sVrw
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    (Original post by willbee)
    She sounds like she's treating you like ****. Best friends don't let you down, and she sounds like she's been doing that a lot. I think you should tell her you're fed up of her treating you that way and the fact that she's in a difficult situation doesn't justify refusing to pay you back. It's not your fault she's got a **** job and only earns 25 a month, how is that even possible? Minimum wage is like 5 pounds-ish, she should be earning that amount per shift.

    You weren't in the wrong but by apologising you have given her the impression that she has the moral high ground here. I've done the same though, when you don't want to lose someone so you apologise to try to make up even if they're the one at fault.

    I think it sounds like she's had the money to pay you back for a while and she's not going to do it, so I'd stop wasting your time with her and give up on her. If you meant a lot to her (and you should, you lent her 26 quid) then she would pay you back ASAP, the fact that she has not shows how much respect she has for you. She probably thinks you're a pushover and thinks she can take advantage of your generosity and you won't stand up for yourself.

    Tbh, she sounds like a right cow.

    Speaking from experience I have treated some friends poorly in the past, in the way she's treated you because I felt they were too kind for their own good and I got annoyed when they pulled me up on it and made me feel like a bad friend (which I was). It's much easier to borrow 25 quid than it is to pay it back (as those poor people who trust Wonga.com find out) and I expect her anger at you will come from knowing she's in the wrong herself. But she'd probably rather blame you than herself because people like to tell themselves they're good people, especially when they're not behaving like it. It's easy to forgive someone when they're in the wrong, but when they're in the right and you're the one at fault it can be really hard to accept.

    I've also been on the receiving end of a friendship turned sour because all the other person does is TAKE TAKE TAKE. When it comes to something like refusing to pay back borrowed money, it shows a marked disrespect for you.

    And the fact that she is making indirect and insulting tweets and "VAGUEBOOKING" against you, shows that she is downright immature.

    I think she sounds like she deserves a slap, but be the better person and walk away with your head held high. Even if she continues to post indirect statues/tweets, or holds a grudge about you asking for your money back, people will see that she's the idiot if you don't indulge her, and you'll feel better about yourself if you just pull out of there and don't look back. Ditch her because she sounds like a dead weight and she'll only bring you down.

    Sometimes a relationship is so bad the only thing you can do is leave, and there's no shame in that.
    She earns £25 a month because its a morning paper round, we're only 16 to be fair with you.

    I've been friends with her for 13 years, I thought that maybe if I laid down my pride and said "yeah I was a total dick but is this really worth ruining our friendship for?" Then maybe she might see reason.

    She meant the absolute world to me, second behind my younger brother. I would've literally done anything for her, but now I see that she actually wouldn't have done the same for me unfortunately.

    The thing is that I'm a really loyal friend, I try and be the best friend I can be because I've been treated so poorly in the past. But it never pays off like I hope it will. I've only got one friend who actually treats me like I treat them, and although I'm not "bezzies" with him, I can definitely see myself become close friends with him because he's on the same page as me. He treats me like his equal. In a non-romantic sense.

    She's becoming absolutely pathetic over this and I can't stand her anymore. She's made me emotional and cynical, I don't deserve that after everything I did for her. The one time I stood up for myself and it lost me my best friend.

    But I can leave now. I'm going to start college, learn from my mistakes and move on. The ball's in her court, and if she wants to talk, ill listen. But I most definitely won't be forgiving. Because I'm an absolute bitch, as she pointed out, and she's gonna learn the definition of it.

    Thank you for your reply, it actually really helped.


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