The difference between friendship and "leading someone on"

Spending lots of one on one time together, for months (although there is no set time period) have lots of fun just you and them. Especially when you are both single and not seeing anyone else. Hmmm I'm feeling a bit burned though, because I got rejected today, I feel so strongly for her that I don't want to say she led me on.

Isn't spending lots of time with someone and having fun just a good friendship?

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Sorry, just for simplicity of answer and not really wanting to disclose what were 'signs' especially as they didn't result in anything, i didn't make it clearer. But in terms of the timeline and stuff, all I wanted to say was that there was a single guy, and a single girl spending a lot of one on one time together, doing things together. Sure you look at that at face value and it is a good friendship, but arguably would you not consider this situation differently to simply a friendship.

The problem I have is that I tend to get on with guys better, and most guys I can hang out with them and it is chill. All good. But then, occasionally, all of a sudden, I was leading them on? I don't even do hugs or cuddles or anything. I am sarcastic and to be honest, pretty mean in a banterous way most of the time, but still, I have these issues. I also have guy friends with girlfriends who compliment me and spend a lot of time with me (and I am not saying I am good looking or anything, I wouldn't say that) and I wonder whether it is my problem that he flirts a lot with someone else.

I mean, I would have issues if my boyfriend was telling other girls they were "pretty, impressive and well dressed". But I wouldn't have a problem with him having close girl mates.

The problem I have is that I tend to get on with guys better, and most guys I can hang out with them and it is chill. All good. But then, occasionally, all of a sudden, I was leading them on? I don't even do hugs or cuddles or anything. I am sarcastic and to be honest, pretty mean in a banterous way most of the time, but still, I have these issues. I also have guy friends with girlfriends who compliment me and spend a lot of time with me (and I am not saying I am good looking or anything, I wouldn't say that) and I wonder whether it is my problem that he flirts a lot with someone else.

I mean, I would have issues if my boyfriend was telling other girls they were "pretty, impressive and well dressed". But I wouldn't have a problem with him having close girl mates.

I'm similar, I don't get on with guys better but I do get on with them pretty well, I've got a little brother and as far as I'm concerned I act the same towards my guy mates, we chat, we talk about films, I can swear in front of them because they don't care, my guy friends are the ones I mostly talk about politics to, but a couple of times my male friends thought I was leading them on when I seriously didn't mean to

At which point is it douchy when interacted with someone of the opposite sex when you don't fancy them?

Oh this! I have 9 brothers. (Yeah, a lot) So I treat guys like my brothers. I sometimes punch them and take the piss out of them and everything.

If I treat you differently to my siblings, that is a sign, not the opposite way round.

When you know they're romantically/sexually into you, and you're not into them in the same way, and you don't let them know about it.

But you don't want to be that person who assumes their male friends are in love with them when they're not, and then awkwardly goes "I'm not into you" "Ok...that's fine, I actually fancy your sister?" "Oh..."

Never done that, but I can't say it's something I want to do.

As dbmag9 said, when feelings get involved, it changes.

If neither of you like each other in 'that way' then you are friends, regardless of gender.

It's when unrequited feelings develop on one side that the problems occur.



Well if they don't tell you about it there isn't much you can do.

Makes it even worse that it is usually the guys who don't have the stones to tell a girl how he feels who get angry about being 'led on'

I certainly don't envy girls sometimes having to deal with these blurred lines!

EDIT: That was such a sweet pop culture reference there that I am just going to silently high five myself, if you don't mind!

When you know they're romantically/sexually into you, and you're not into them in the same way, and you don't let them know about it.

"Hey.

I met this girl at my new job, however she is leaving for Uni soon so i didn't do anything about it. But she asked for my number. After a few days of chatting. We planned to go out to dinner but I had to cancel because she was ill. Then i made another date for us but she couldn't come to that either because she was going out with a mate. Finally i made another date but she said she couldn't because she had to go out with her mum.

Then we were working together and she started kissing me.The following day she started talking about wanting to have sex as she hadn't had it in a while. But I told her i was a virgin and wanted to wait a little bit longer before we did. She started to say how it was weird for her when we were kissing as she is used to sex, and it was different with me. But she said she liked me and was willing to wait till I was ready.

However today she texts me saying she can't do this anymore, said I'm more into this than she is. And she said she has a lot going on at the moment. But says I'm a lovely guy but she leaves on Saturday for Uni in London and we haven't even been on a date. Even though i made 3 and she cancelled everyone.

I'm not really sure what she wanted out us to be honest. I really like her and wanted a relationship."

Just a copy of what i wrote in a thread i made, I think this classes as leading someone on.

Being completely honest I think we can admit to ourselves that there are ways of leading people on without overtly flirting or touching. I guess. Well. Thinking about it, it's very difficult. If someone likes me for who I am, I find myself feeling like I'm leading them on if I don't tone down my natural playfulness. If I'm open, warm, smiling constantly, making jokes, being mean to them in a friendly way - it all only makes them like me more and feel closer to me, obviously. If I know they like me and I'm not interested in that way, can I continue acting in a way that I know is only making them like me more? Even if I make my intentions clear, don't psychically touch them and don't text them or chat every day/constantly.

I'm engaged and very open about that. If you talk to me for more than a few minutes you'll probably notice the ring and I'll have most likely mentioned my other half. I still feel like I have to be careful not to act overly friendly with people that potentially like me, is that right or fair? I don't know. Sometimes I would like to joke around more, I'm naturally a clown. Recently I met a guy at a couple of parties who I get along well with, I've let myself be quite jokey (no physical contact, obviously engaged etc.) but I do feel unsettled by it because I think he does like me. At the same time, I like talking to him. Most people would say I'm being ridiculous and it's fine to have fun and be playful in clearly non-sexual ways. I'm unsure.