I want my ex back...
Okay, I broke up with a guy 6 months ago.
I loved him, more then I even realized I think. We had a difficult patch because I was suffering from depression, which ultimately made me end the relationship. Depression makes you push people away and isolate yourself, which is exactly what I did, and after he begged for me back, I started to say really nasty things to keep him away.
I had a rebound relationship, and when he heard I was seeing this new guy, 3 days later he was fb official with another girl. They are still together, but I broke up with my beau because I knew I was still in love with my ex and didn't want to string him along, as it wasn't fair.
I know that my ex probably doesn't want me back. But despite asking (yes, I have gone that mental) if he was over me and had moved on, he never replied. Does this mean he still wants me, or not?
If he could just say he was over me, then I could move on, but I'm clinging onto some stupid idea that he still wants me back one day.
How can I get the answer out of him? We have absolutely no method of communication, so I can't contact him until we go back to uni, and even then I'm worried he will literally blank me in the street.
I know that he has a new girlfriend, and the weird thing is, I actually love him so much, that if she makes him happy, I'm happy. I don't want to ruin their relationship. I just want to be able to move on, or be with him. I'm just going out of my mind at the moment as I've no idea what he is thinking. Why can't he just say he doesn't want me anymore, it would be a hell of a lot easier for both of us.
I loved him, more then I even realized I think. We had a difficult patch because I was suffering from depression, which ultimately made me end the relationship. Depression makes you push people away and isolate yourself, which is exactly what I did, and after he begged for me back, I started to say really nasty things to keep him away.
I had a rebound relationship, and when he heard I was seeing this new guy, 3 days later he was fb official with another girl. They are still together, but I broke up with my beau because I knew I was still in love with my ex and didn't want to string him along, as it wasn't fair.
I know that my ex probably doesn't want me back. But despite asking (yes, I have gone that mental) if he was over me and had moved on, he never replied. Does this mean he still wants me, or not?
If he could just say he was over me, then I could move on, but I'm clinging onto some stupid idea that he still wants me back one day.
How can I get the answer out of him? We have absolutely no method of communication, so I can't contact him until we go back to uni, and even then I'm worried he will literally blank me in the street.
I know that he has a new girlfriend, and the weird thing is, I actually love him so much, that if she makes him happy, I'm happy. I don't want to ruin their relationship. I just want to be able to move on, or be with him. I'm just going out of my mind at the moment as I've no idea what he is thinking. Why can't he just say he doesn't want me anymore, it would be a hell of a lot easier for both of us.
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He probably doesn't want you. He has been with his new girlfriend for what seems like a reasonable amount of time. Time is your friend, go outside, smell the roses and you'll be fine
Feel like the neg was a little unnecessary.
Anyway, I've tried to move on, I really have and I just can't. I just want him to literally tell me to go away. He just won't say or do anything, and it's even more upsetting then having to deal with the break up.
I just miss him so much
Anyway, I've tried to move on, I really have and I just can't. I just want him to literally tell me to go away. He just won't say or do anything, and it's even more upsetting then having to deal with the break up.
I just miss him so much
And my heart didn't break either?
Clearly you've never had to deal with the pain of a relationship ending. Because no matter whether you are the dumper or dumpee it really f'ing hurts.
Clearly you've never had to deal with the pain of a relationship ending. Because no matter whether you are the dumper or dumpee it really f'ing hurts.
You have to put your cards on the table and let him know how you feel and more than just ask him if he still has feelings for you.
At least you can leave the situation feeling that you've done everything you could to salvage this.
At least you can leave the situation feeling that you've done everything you could to salvage this.
Original post by Anonymous
Feel like the neg was a little unnecessary.
Anyway, I've tried to move on, I really have and I just can't. I just want him to literally tell me to go away. He just won't say or do anything, and it's even more upsetting then having to deal with the break up.
I just miss him so much
Anyway, I've tried to move on, I really have and I just can't. I just want him to literally tell me to go away. He just won't say or do anything, and it's even more upsetting then having to deal with the break up.
I just miss him so much
i didn't neg btw.
YOU broke up with him, you should have closure. break ups are always hard but it's just not a good idea to talk to him when he has a gf. the fact you had a rebound relationship is another reason not to talk to him again, you'll end up messing him around, it's not fair
To be fair I'd suggest just forgetting about him and moving on, he clearly cared for you and when trying to talk to you after the break up you pushed him away. So for this I think its fair to say hes doing the good thing of moving on especially when you had a rebound relationship just after the break up which doesn't justify why you'd split up with him due to depression. I think its unfair for you to now try and win him back over or make contact with him as that's just pulling on his heart strings which really isn't the nicest thing to do. Just move on and leave him be, if he cares for you then some point down the line he would make contact, however currently it seems clear to me that hes happy with what hes got and doesn't want to go back into his past.
However, don't let anyone here be the judge of what you do, personally I think you'd be doing an awful thing getting in touch with him again if you did. But you're in control of how you act and if you are so desperately in need of him then try and build that bridge up, just don't expect great results.
However, don't let anyone here be the judge of what you do, personally I think you'd be doing an awful thing getting in touch with him again if you did. But you're in control of how you act and if you are so desperately in need of him then try and build that bridge up, just don't expect great results.
(edited 10 years ago)
Cant believe people are being so horrible to the OP, you've obviously never suffered from depression!!
It's a hard one, you realise you've made a mistake but i'd leave him alone for now i think. Leave them to see how the relationship goes, he might realise he wants to give it another go but i'd give him space and time to make the decision himself
It's a hard one, you realise you've made a mistake but i'd leave him alone for now i think. Leave them to see how the relationship goes, he might realise he wants to give it another go but i'd give him space and time to make the decision himself
Original post by Anonymous
And my heart didn't break either?
Clearly you've never had to deal with the pain of a relationship ending. Because no matter whether you are the dumper or dumpee it really f'ing hurts.
Clearly you've never had to deal with the pain of a relationship ending. Because no matter whether you are the dumper or dumpee it really f'ing hurts.
Aw I know, it's so hard and it's all about you.
Your flaw is still thinking in terms of you and him, because there is no such concept.
The moment you broke up he had no obligation or expectation to consider your feelings and future beyond common human respect.
He has gone and done what he wants with who he wants as a free man is entitled to, and he has committed to someone else.
You don't need to hear anything from him because the closure was when you ended things.
Time to chock this one up to a learning experience on your half and move on with your life.
Original post by Anonymous
And my heart didn't break either?
Clearly you've never had to deal with the pain of a relationship ending. Because no matter whether you are the dumper or dumpee it really f'ing hurts.
Clearly you've never had to deal with the pain of a relationship ending. Because no matter whether you are the dumper or dumpee it really f'ing hurts.
Apparently you make too many assumptions.
I was in the position of your ex and I can tell you now, it's better for the both of you that you stay miles away.
Leave him and his girlfriend be - you made your choice, now he's made his.
I personal think that you laid your cards on the table with the text and no reply indicated that he doesn't want you. If you REALLY want, you could send another just expressing your feelings and regret and telling him to reply if he feels the same - if he doesn't reply, it then becomes crystal clear to you that he HAS moved on.
he didn't reply so my gut instinct is that he doesn't want you back and doesn't want to speak to you.
I AM OP
I actually spoke to him on the phone today for the first time in months. I didn't exactly say how I felt, as I know he has a new girlfriend, and I am the last person to want to ruin something. After speaking for a bit about our break up, and just generally catching up, he asked me straight out what I wanted. I told him I couldn't have what I wanted anymore, and that was fine, I just wanted him to be happy. He told me he was.
I tried to end the conversation there, but as I was hanging up he said he needed to tell me things but couldn't do it there and then, because it wasn't fair on anyone. Now I'm even more confused. He says he definitely doesn't hate me, but does he want to tell me to get out of his life? Or is he saying he still has feelings for me but can't talk about it because it wouldn't be fair on his new girlfriend?
I didn't push it, I have more respect for him then to make him feel any more uncomfortable. I just told him I regretted my decisions, and apologised for calling. Whilst he kept saying I'd move on and be happy again one day, he kept saying things like, who knows where we'll be in a years time, and that he had things to say but couldn't say at this moment in time.
Is he just being polite, and trying to make me feel better? Or does he still care about me like I care for him?
I actually spoke to him on the phone today for the first time in months. I didn't exactly say how I felt, as I know he has a new girlfriend, and I am the last person to want to ruin something. After speaking for a bit about our break up, and just generally catching up, he asked me straight out what I wanted. I told him I couldn't have what I wanted anymore, and that was fine, I just wanted him to be happy. He told me he was.
I tried to end the conversation there, but as I was hanging up he said he needed to tell me things but couldn't do it there and then, because it wasn't fair on anyone. Now I'm even more confused. He says he definitely doesn't hate me, but does he want to tell me to get out of his life? Or is he saying he still has feelings for me but can't talk about it because it wouldn't be fair on his new girlfriend?
I didn't push it, I have more respect for him then to make him feel any more uncomfortable. I just told him I regretted my decisions, and apologised for calling. Whilst he kept saying I'd move on and be happy again one day, he kept saying things like, who knows where we'll be in a years time, and that he had things to say but couldn't say at this moment in time.
Is he just being polite, and trying to make me feel better? Or does he still care about me like I care for him?
Original post by CJKay
You screwed him over - don't expect sympathy or useful advice here. Don't **** up his new relationship because suddenly you want him back.
OOooooh get 'er
Original post by Anonymous
I AM OP
I actually spoke to him on the phone today for the first time in months. I didn't exactly say how I felt, as I know he has a new girlfriend, and I am the last person to want to ruin something. After speaking for a bit about our break up, and just generally catching up, he asked me straight out what I wanted. I told him I couldn't have what I wanted anymore, and that was fine, I just wanted him to be happy. He told me he was.
I tried to end the conversation there, but as I was hanging up he said he needed to tell me things but couldn't do it there and then, because it wasn't fair on anyone. Now I'm even more confused. He says he definitely doesn't hate me, but does he want to tell me to get out of his life? Or is he saying he still has feelings for me but can't talk about it because it wouldn't be fair on his new girlfriend?
I didn't push it, I have more respect for him then to make him feel any more uncomfortable. I just told him I regretted my decisions, and apologised for calling. Whilst he kept saying I'd move on and be happy again one day, he kept saying things like, who knows where we'll be in a years time, and that he had things to say but couldn't say at this moment in time.
Is he just being polite, and trying to make me feel better? Or does he still care about me like I care for him?
I actually spoke to him on the phone today for the first time in months. I didn't exactly say how I felt, as I know he has a new girlfriend, and I am the last person to want to ruin something. After speaking for a bit about our break up, and just generally catching up, he asked me straight out what I wanted. I told him I couldn't have what I wanted anymore, and that was fine, I just wanted him to be happy. He told me he was.
I tried to end the conversation there, but as I was hanging up he said he needed to tell me things but couldn't do it there and then, because it wasn't fair on anyone. Now I'm even more confused. He says he definitely doesn't hate me, but does he want to tell me to get out of his life? Or is he saying he still has feelings for me but can't talk about it because it wouldn't be fair on his new girlfriend?
I didn't push it, I have more respect for him then to make him feel any more uncomfortable. I just told him I regretted my decisions, and apologised for calling. Whilst he kept saying I'd move on and be happy again one day, he kept saying things like, who knows where we'll be in a years time, and that he had things to say but couldn't say at this moment in time.
Is he just being polite, and trying to make me feel better? Or does he still care about me like I care for him?
Ah, he is keeping an eye on the future i see.
He probably said those things so that you would stick with him until his relationship ends, thus giving him options for a rebound girlfriend.
Or he just enjoys watching you get upset over him like how he got upset over you.
Probably the second one because you seem like a bitch.
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