My parents make me uncomfortable. :/

I hate spending time with my parents.

My dad always messes up my hair, ask why I look "so miserable", and yells at me when I don't speak loudly enough in public (I'm very shy, it's hard sometimes.).

My mum forces me to take pictures and pressures me with threats when I refuse (I was once at Thorpe Park and we were in the line for a ride and she asked for a picture and when I said "no", she threatened to take me back to the car to sit in while the rest of my siblings enjoy themselves.).

They both force me to wear things I feel self-conscious in and they won't listen to me when I tell them I feel insecure. Once I wanted to cover my arms, but my mum made a scene of it and yelled at me to take off my jumper. When I had to get fitted for a bra, she made me feel really bad by yelling at me when I didn't want to show the clerk helping us how the bra fitted. They both force me to get pictures taken-- then yell at me some more when I look absolutely distraught in them --and my mum controls my hair totally so I can't make myself look better at all. They make me wear things I am not comfortable with, like makeup, high-heeled shoes, and sleeveless/strapless dresses. They never consider my feelings and they make me feel really low.

Reply 1

greeneyedgirl

19

Original post by writerSalmon

I hate spending time with my parents.

My dad always messes up my hair, ask why I look "so miserable", and yells at me when I don't speak loudly enough in public (I'm very shy, it's hard sometimes.).

My mum forces me to take pictures and pressures me with threats when I refuse (I was once at Thorpe Park and we were in the line for a ride and she asked for a picture and when I said "no", she threatened to take me back to the car to sit in while the rest of my siblings enjoy themselves.).

They both force me to wear things I feel self-conscious in and they won't listen to me when I tell them I feel insecure. Once I wanted to cover my arms, but my mum made a scene of it and yelled at me to take off my jumper. When I had to get fitted for a bra, she made me feel really bad by yelling at me when I didn't want to show the clerk helping us how the bra fitted. They both force me to get pictures taken-- then yell at me some more when I look absolutely distraught in them --and my mum controls my hair totally so I can't make myself look better at all. They make me wear things I am not comfortable with, like makeup, high-heeled shoes, and sleeveless/strapless dresses. They never consider my feelings and they make me feel really low.

Sounds really tough :hugs:

Have you tried calmly explaining to them how you feel? They may not realise that what they're doing is making you miserable? Or do you have another adult (maybe a grandparent?) who could talk to them for you?

Reply 2

UK_Menna

2

It does sound tough, he's right^

But, it always sounds like your parents are a bit fed up! Maybe you need to build your confidence a little bit? It seems as if you're trying not to enjoy yourself. Let yourself go a little bit maybe?

Though your parents need to sort their **** out and they may never do that so you might just have to accept it and make the best of your situation :smile:

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Reply 3

Kabloomybuzz

19

Perhaps its time you actually started rebelling and refusing to do everything they say if you think its unreasonable. Yes, it will cause a lot of stress and arguments and consequences that you will have to face, but it might also mean that they HAVE to face the fact that their daughter is growing up and not a little child anymore and that you need some level of space, freedom and autonomy. Between the arguments and the stress outs and the yelling, try to calmly explain to them that they need to give you some responsibility and choice over your life and they need to let you grow up. Its not like you want to go out every night, drinking and having sex, you just want basic control over what you wear and how you have your hair. Their criticism and giving you their opinion is one thing, but controlling you is another. You are their daughter, not their puppet.

It will probably be really stressful for a while, but it might actually be worth facing the consequences like being forced to sit in the car for not wanting a photo or taking their shouting for wanting to wear a jumper, but if you stand your ground for long enough, it will probably pay off in the long term. They can't control you forever and they need to start loosening their grip now and give you some independence.

Are there any other family members or family friend that might support you?

Reply 4

SpicyStrawberry

18

I say rebel. If you're already stressed out and your mum yells at you for trivial things anyway, you've not got much to lose.

If this option isn't feasible, have you tried sitting with your mum and telling her how you feel? Is there any particular reason she is this controlling over your appearance and what you get up to? She sounds very overbearing and it's not healthy, as it's driving a wedge between the two of you that doesn't need to be there. Maybe there's been a breakdown in communication as your mother isn't shy and can't understand perhaps why you are more shy and behave differently to her. From what you've said though, it seems like your mum isn't allowing you to mature and become more independent as you get older, which is a process parents have to go through at some stage whether she likes it or not. If you talk to her she might be able to understand where you're coming from if the arguments are getting too frequent.

(edited 10 years ago)

My parents make me uncomfortable. :/

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