Boyfriend self conscious about his height.

My boyfriend is around 5"7 and I'm about half an inch shorter than he is. He is extremely self conscious about his height, before we started going out he wore lifts in his shoes and even now will only buy shoes with small heels. He obsesses about his height compared to others and always says how frustrated he is as it's one of the only things you can't change. I feel too bad to wear heels when I'm with him as even with small ones on I am taller. I often think he'd prefer to be with a shorter girl to make it more balanced. What can I say/do to make him feel better? . Surely the fact that he has me should be something?! (not to be big headed!).

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Reply 1

Anonymous #1

I forgot to mention, the fact that he makes such a big deal about it makes me start to notice it. When we met I didn't even think of him as "short' but now I do think maybe he is too short for me. I wish he had more confidence in himself. If he didn't care no one else would either.

Reply 2

username1150116

My dad is shorter than him :P

Reply 3

Fiosud

I'm about two inches shorter... Surely the fact that its something he can't change should be a reason not to stress about it? Focus on things you can improve on instead :smile:

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Reply 4

Darth Stewie

Not that i suggest this but if he is that obsessed and self conscious about his height there is surgery now which can make you taller. Other than that he really has to come to terms with it himself, it does seem it is all to do with him and not much to do with you. Even if he was with someone shorter the issue of him being short won't go away, well unless he takes said smaller girl and goes to live a solitary life in a tree stump or something.

Reply 5

DeceitfulDove

My fiancé is 2 inches shorter...and I don't even think he knows :mmm:

Reply 6

vendettax

Pity. We can your bf a manlet where I'm from.

Reply 7

Mankytoes

Original post by Darth Stewie

Have you seen how they do that surgery? It's pretty brutal. And he's not even that short.

Reply 8

Anonymous #2

Original post by Anonymous

How old are you? If you are in high school still maybe he can go on growth hormones.

Reply 9

Darth Stewie

Original post by Mankytoes

Have you seen how they do that surgery? It's pretty brutal. And he's not even that short.

Yeh but from the sounds of it this is something that really bothers him, for some people the choice between 6 months of pain compared to a life time of self esteem issues would be a pretty clear decision. Personally i wouldn't go for it especially considering as you said he isn't even that short but if it is something that is really effecting him he may feel differently.

Reply 10

jama mj

i think its his lack of self confidence that is causing him to stress about it rather than his height.5.7 isn't even that short. i think he needs to stop stressing about what others think of him.

Reply 11

Mankytoes

Original post by Darth Stewie

He's just (presumably) young and insecure, most of us have insecurities about ourselves, surgery isn't really the answer.

Reply 12

Anonymous #1

Original post by Anonymous

How old are you? If you are in high school still maybe he can go on growth hormones.

He's 21 so probably not. He was actually offered growth hormone when he was very young but his parents turned it down.

Reply 13

Care-Free

my ex was 5 foot 4 and and he just learned to embrace it, including making jokes at his own expense. really he's just got to accept that there's not really anything he can do about it and he just has to learn to live with it before he makes other people miserable, being self conscious isn't going to change anything. Try to get him to realise that he's a good enough person that his height shouldn't determine anything about him.

Reply 14

Plainview

I think he'll get over it. 'Time makes more converts than reason' and all that.

Reply 15

Horny Cabbage

Original post by Care-Free

Wait, you dated Frodo Baggins ?!

Reply 16

Care-Free

Original post by Horny Cabbage

Wait, you dated Frodo Baggins ?!

yes. yes i did.

Reply 17

Aivicore

Well if he ever mentions it just make it clear how little it matters to you, I guess. It's not like it's something he picked!

Spoiler

Reply 18

MyNameIsChris

Tell him that life is too short to worry about small things. :rolleyes:

Reply 19

Blutooth

I'm 5"7 and my girlfriend is just a couple of millimetres smaller. I used to be a bit self-conscious of my height, but I wouldn't let it show outwardly. I think that must be quite unattractive in a man, not the height in itself but being so outwardly insecure about it, especially as you say he is with you. And yeah, having a girlfriend such as yourself should make him feel less insecure. Tell him you think his height is fine and to stop being so insecure about it because that is making you feel awkward.