The Student Room Group

Parents wont even meet boyfriend!

Iv got a boyfriend who I've been going out with for 6 months now. I told my parents about him 3 months ago and my dad went crazy.

He started questioning whether I'd slept with him (I had but I did'nt admit it), and told me that I wasn't allowed a boyfreind, even though I'm 19 years old!

He said that he was concerned for my education, and I told him I'd prove he would'nt affect my performance and passed the first year, with no resits and so did my boyfriend.

I want to see my boyfriend over the summer sooo much, but my dad will only question who I'm seeing etc.

I've tried talking to my mum but she is on my dads side, and we dont really have a good relationship.

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Anonymous
Iv got a boyfriend who I've been going out with for 6 months now. I told my parents about him 3 months ago and my dad went crazy.

He started questioning whether I'd slept with him (I had but I did'nt admit it), and told me that I wasn't allowed a boyfreind, even though I'm 19 years old!

He said that he was concerned for my education, and I told him I'd prove he would'nt affect my performance and passed the first year, with no resits and so did my boyfriend.

I want to see my boyfriend over the summer sooo much, but my dad will only question who I'm seeing etc.

I've tried talking to my mum but she is on my dads side, and we dont really have a good relationship.



Put your foot down! It's time you acted like a grown up and proved that they can't boss you around or they'll continue to. If your dad gets angry, you get angry back. Fight back and they'll know you're serious. If you're too afraid then stay at uni next summer.
Reply 2
You an adult, they cant dictate you to who you date and who you see in your holidays. I really feel for you, my parents are great they aint too bothered about whether ive slept with my boyfriend, and they seem to really like my current boyfriend. Id hate having to lie to them or make excuses for spending time with your chap.
Reply 3
I agree with Timeslikethese. You need to stand up to them. Be respectful but let them know that you are old enought to make your own decisions now and they cannot dictate who you can see. You have proven yourself to be capable and mature by doing well at uni, so I think they are being a bit unreasonable.
Reply 4
I want to but I'm scared of my Dad, he has this power over the whole family, I tried standing up for myself 3 months ago, but he just ignored me and would'nt even discuss it.

It really angers me because he met my mum while at uni, and they're still together now, so i don't understand.

He says he does'nt want me to have boyfriends because i'm his "little girl":banghead:
leave the house >x(
Reply 6
Well if he doesnt change his attitude he'll end up loosing you completely. I wouldnt stand for it, but then again ive always been brought up to stand up for myself and my beliefs.
Reply 7
Your parents are exactly like mine! they went schizo when they found out about my first bf when i was 18. They say its ebcuase of education...distractions..blah blah blah! They even pressured me to me break up with him. I did break up with him but not because they told me to, its coz i had to move away to uni :p:

But yeah stick your foot down! they can't take control of your life forever! It's YOUR life not theirs and you're certainly old enough now to make decisions for yourself! You already proved to them that hes not distracting your from your education so they're the ones that needs some sense knocked into their heads! I bet if you asked them when did they started seeign each other or got married, they would probably answer aroudn the same age as you (well...my parents were anyway!)
Anonymous
I want to but I'm scared of my Dad, he has this power over the whole family, I tried standing up for myself 3 months ago, but he just ignored me and would'nt even discuss it.

It really angers me because he met my mum while at uni, and they're still together now, so i don't understand.

He says he does'nt want me to have boyfriends because i'm his "little girl":banghead:


Just do it, be nice when they discuss it or better yet do what you like and refuse to discuss it like him. Don't let him rule over you, he's wrong so you've no need to feel afraid.
Reply 9
Anonymous
I want to but I'm scared of my Dad, he has this power over the whole family, I tried standing up for myself 3 months ago, but he just ignored me and would'nt even discuss it.

It really angers me because he met my mum while at uni, and they're still together now, so i don't understand.

He says he does'nt want me to have boyfriends because i'm his "little girl":banghead:
Sorry to go off-topic, but how on earth did you pass the first year of University when you can't even use ' correctly?
hitmanuk2k
Sorry to go off-topic, but how on earth did you pass the first year of University when you can't even use ' correctly?


We aren't all so anal about precise punctuation, no doubt she was typing fast and mistyped.
Reply 11
hitmanuk2k
Sorry to go off-topic, but how on earth did you pass the first year of University when you can't even use ' correctly?


These kind of posts are really getting up my nose. Yes i know alot of people arn't using proper English or proper grammer. But when someone is clearly trying, its very annoying.

It's just getting very over the top with constant nit picking. Im sorry to jump down your throat and it's not just you. But its the minor spelling errors and not even the ones which deserve comments being made getting flamed.
Reply 12
hehe lets just say I do a science subject and word does all the hard work for me!:biggrin:
Your parents can't dictate to you who you go out with, but you must understand that they are just worried about you.

Why do you need your parents to meet your boyfriend anyway?
Reply 14
I want them to meet him so that he can come round and see me, and so that I can go out with him, My mum and dad always want to know who i'm going out with, so i COULDN'T :wink: just say "bye i'm going out".

I just want my parents to get on with him and like him, but when i suggested meeting him, they said no straight away...
I'm sure there are ways around that. C'mon all kids make stuff up to get out of the house.

It just sounds like you want them to meet him so they'll approve of him, but I don't understand why you need their approval to go out with him.
my friend's dad is like that, he's a total control freak hence why his daughters have all left home! by going to uni and running away (not both the same daughter lol)

I wish men like him would see what they do to their daughters by being such control freaks! the one who went to uni has a bf and is keeping it a secret! cos she isnt allowed to date.. its like hello dude the girl's 19 and at uni!

OP, talk some sense into your dad or better yet get a trusted relative to do it.. someone who is on your side!
Reply 17
You are 19. Do what you want, when you want. (within reason).. but the point is that you are more than old enough to be a parent yourself, so you don't need to be parented* (is that a word??)
Reply 18
Anonymous
I want them to meet him so that he can come round and see me, and so that I can go out with him, My mum and dad always want to know who i'm going out with, so i COULDN'T :wink: just say "bye i'm going out".

I just want my parents to get on with him and like him, but when i suggested meeting him, they said no straight away...

Get a friend to cover for you say you are going out shopping with them or out to the cinema. Make sure that know to cover for you though so that they don't call up and ask for you.
At the end of the day, your dad is trying to protect you. It is wrong for him to be that protective, but it is only because he cares. He doesn't want you to muck your life up & he is so scared that this will happen if you get involved with a boy. Evidently, this isn't going to happen. You seem to have your 'head screwed on' (so to speak :wink: ) & have proved that by entering into a serious relationship while still managing to juggle your education.

Perhaps the best thing to do is to ask for a reason as to why he is so protective. You've tried everything else, so hit the hammer on the head & ask the reason as to why he is so against it as opposed to getting him to accept your boyfriend. If this doesn't help, maybe suggest seeing a family councellor. Stress to him that it is really upsetting you & that your not prepared to split up with yout boyfriend to please him.

Good luck chick.