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Having doubts about PGCE

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I'm doing fine really - the prospect of 6 weeks more on placement without a break is a little daunting, yes, but I can't complain compared to the state I was in during September and after October half term. The first week back has been fine and I feel very sure of myself now in this school, I feel rather at home here. Travel is horrendous but that's the only issue currently, which is made somewhat better from getting a lift off my boyfriend on the odd trip from now on.

I was somewhat weary of the Christmas break because I'd heard so much about it being the time of drop-outs, and I thought I was going to be very vulnerable to this, but it's very clear to me that I had my big meltdown a lot earlier than other people and thankfully got it out the way before December which meant I had a wonderful, relaxing Christmas which has left me feeling genuinely refreshed and recharged this week. After half term I genuinely did not feel like I'd had any break and that's kind of what made me have my second meltdown, I was overwhelmed with tiredness, so tired I could barely stand in class at the end of the day sometimes. But I settled into the routine and it seems I'm back into the routine more quickly this time.

One piece of advice I will give is that what does keep me going an awful lot is that I know that time flies on this course even if you're not particularly enjoying it - six weeks sounds like a long chunk of placement, but I'm so busy that I feel like time is passing too quickly rather than too slowly. I'm on top of my work though so fingers crossed, I'll be alright on that score, but seriously - 6 or 7 week terms will seem like they lasted 12 weeks in retrospect, looking back my last term feels like months and months, but at the time it did not feel that way, and already it does not feel like I've been back for a week and am just a month away from finishing the placement.

And last thing, the teaching gets easier and more comfortable every day, and at the moment I'm thoroughly, genuinely enjoying the teaching aspect of the course.

So I'm feeling good! Once again, hope my ups and downs can help some people identify what they're going through and maybe help. :smile:

Reply 21

awe

It must be so interesting to see your first posts on this situation! (: Well done for getting through those times and persisting.

Can I ask (I can't find it anywhere on the thread, my mistake if it is) what subject/level PGCE you are studying?

Reply 22

Threefold

Yes it's strange, and more than a little embarrassing, but it is nice to be able to look back at it and know that I got myself through that dark period. It helps with all the endless reflection we have to do, I guess!

And I'm doing Secondary Music, so obviously it has a lot of its own problems and benefits - massive extracurricular demands but very expressive and fun... not a core subject but one that a select few have true dedication to... etc.

Reply 23

lantan

Original post by Threefold

I'm Secondary Music as well!
which Uni do you do your course at?

Well done for getting through the tough time - I'm sure it was absolutely worth it! :smile:

Reply 24

spspsp

go Threefold!!! you're an inspiration x

Reply 25

pansies

Hi Threefold.

I'm currently studying for a PGCE Primary and am now on my second placement. Your story is very similar to mine...I've never experienced so many ups and downs. Before Christmas I didn't think I'd make it this far but I've battled through.

I'm still unsure if this is for me, but just trying to take each day as it comes. Everyone on my course seems so confident and sure of themselves and I almost feel like I'm making it up as I go along!!

How are you feeling at the moment?

Reply 26

sunfowers01

Original post by pansies

Hi there,

I'm not the original poster, but I can relate so much. My situation is a bit different, since I teach English as a second language. I feel like I've been thrown in at the deep end and left to fend for myself.

Planning classes take ages and I don't feel I'many good at it. I really don't know what to do.

Posted from TSR Mobile

Reply 27

kaylababes

Original post by lantan

I'm Secondary Music as well!
which Uni do you do your course at?

Well done for getting through the tough time - I'm sure it was absolutely worth it! :smile:

Hi! i've applied for a secondary music PGCE next year, was just wondering what advice you could give me? I'm going to bishop grosseteste in lincoln and i'm pretty excited, teaching is definitely something i've always wanted to do so not feeling too scared at the moment. I'm sure there will be time where i will be though!

Michaela :smile:

Reply 28

lantan

Original post by kaylababes

Get acquainted with the following topics, if you don't know them already: Gamelan, Samba, African music (african drumming), Minimalism, Reggae, Rhythmic and Pitch notation, etc. Every school is different but some of these are bound to pop up in the Curriculum.
Also, look at the EDEXCEL GCSE Spec and see what topics are studied there. It's probably a very good idea to get the actual textbook too.
Hope that's useful!

Reply 29

Threefold

Original post by pansies

I completely recognise all of those feelings that you mention there. It's been a rollercoaster of a year.

And I'm afraid at this point I feel absolutely awful. So awful that I don't know if I want to continue after Easter (thank God that comes tomorrow) and I certainly do not want to be a teacher anymore, sadly. The ups and downs have become so extreme that I cannot handle it, and I don't think there's any shame in admitting it. You can see my highs and lows in this very thread - the highs have become more euphoric but the lows have become deeply desperate nights where all I can do is cry and have no idea where to start with improving my prospects on the course.

So I'm doing my utmost to finish this thing, which I now feel was a mistake for me, just so I can go with my head held high, take the qualification through, and not have wasted 31 weeks and counting on this.

My advice would be to do your best to finish if you're feeling low like me... hopefully it will somehow be worth it.

Reply 30

IJT

I feel exactly the same as you. I have 9 weeks left till I finish the course, 4 in school, half term in uni then another 4 weeks in school. It's back to school tomorrow after the Easter break and I am absolutely dreading it. For the last week I've been waking up feeling so sick at the thought of going back to school. I've been feeling so anxious I've been shaky, I've been heaving, I have chest pains and I feel so sick I don't want to eat.

I want to finish the course just so I have that I completed the course on my CV. I live at home with my parents and they don't know what sort of time I'm having as I'm keeping it all to myself as I don't want to disappoint them. On the other hand I know dropping out would make me happy, I don't want to teach anymore, so I just think to myself what is the point in making myself so unhappy trying to finish the course.

What's happening with you? Have you gone back to school or are you due to tomorrow like me? It does make me feel slightly better I've found someone who is feeling really similar to me at the present time.

Reply 31

pansies

Hi, I just wanted to check in and see how all on the thread are feeling now we have made it to the summer. I thought about this thread lots when I was down and it has really helped knowing I'm not the only one who has had a struggle. Others on the course acted as though they were loving every second and completely grasped everything they were told, I still don't know if this was a front or if they were genuinely more confident/ capable than me....it just helped knowing others out there were having a hard time like me and I wasn't odd!!

I did complete the course and am pleased that I did so. My final placement wasn't as terrible as the others, I somehow became better at managing the amount of paperwork and did start to enjoy being in front of the class. I sort of told myself to pretend I had it all under control and knew what I was doing in hopes it would help me cope. The fake it til you make it approach!

Huge well done for getting to this point and I hope you feel a sense of achievement!! RELAX!!