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Age Gaps - your opinions?

Is 20 years crazy? Should we only be allowed to date people with 5 years between yourself and them? Is okay to judge people because of your personal morals? What's the biggest age gap you know about? What's the biggest age gap you'd have? Allow the questions and answers to flow...

Personally 10 is a maximum for me but sexuality is fluid as is sex LOL! If you want them, you want them! :smile:

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Reply 1

TheMoho

20 years, for me, sounds crazy.

No, we should be allowed to date a person of any age gap, not just 5 years.

It's okay to judge couples quietly, in your own mind. But it's not okay to offend or disrespect them publicly purely because you think their age gap is too 'wrong' to you.

I'm not sure how big the biggest age gap I've seen was...

I would limit my age gap to -3 to +5 years but preferably I'd only go for someone who is exactly my age.

Reply 2

Plumstone

The only boyfriend I've had is 13 years older than me. I had just turned 17 when we got together and he was nearly 30. We have a great relationship; we've been together for almost three years and are even happier now than we were when we first got together.

On account of this, I believe completely that age gap relationships can work really well.

Nonetheless, I can't imagine dating anyone younger than me and in terms of an upper limit, I don't think I could be with anyone more than 15 years older; there's something about someone being old enough to legally be my dad that I would find a bit weird...

Reply 3

baccardi123

Over 8 is the upper limit in some cases. 18 years old gal with 26 man sounds ok to me.

Reply 4

_Emilyy

20 years sounds a bit crazy when i imagine myself in a relationship with that big of an age gap but no way should it just be limited to five years. My grandparents have 10 years between them and they've been together nearly 40 years. My parents had 10 years between them, that didn't work out quite as well lol but if they had been limited to five years I wouldn't be here haha. For me personally I want my future partner to be older than me (ten years sounds good to me) as I just don't get on with people my age. I think that as long as a couple is happy together then who are we to judge? What seems strange to some people works out great for others. I'm all for age gaps haha

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Reply 5

PinkMobilePhone

Volunteer Team

Is 20 years crazy? No it's not "crazy" but it's definitely impractical, for various reasons. My opinion is that, if possible, an age gap of this magnitude should probably be avoided.

Should we only be allowed to date people with 5 years between yourself and them? No. That's ridiculous. My husband and I have just over 7 years between us for a start. What's wrong with that? That isn't even impractical - it works perfectly well. To "disallow" anything over a 5 year age gap would be a horrible breach of freedom.

Is okay to judge people because of your personal morals? Define "ok"? There are no thought police. Privately you can think whatever you like about other people. It's not okay to act upon your judgements though or stick your nose into other peoples business if it does not affect you.

What's the biggest age gap you know about? A girl I used to be friends with was in a long-term-relationship for roughly 7 years with a guy around 38 years older than her. Ultimately it didn't work out though,

What's the biggest age gap you'd have? About 10 years I suppose. But it's not set in stone.

Reply 6

Trix465

The only age barrier is the law. Providing legal and feelings are genuine there is no reason why age gap relationships can't be real. They can present interesting challenges but nothing that can't be beaten!

Reply 7

gemmam

I know a girl who dated a 60 year old when she was 19. Ive always prefered guys around my own age my boyfriend is 2 years younger and other guys Ive dated have either been the same age as me or a year older. I dont think Id personally feel comfortable dating someone 5+ years older/younger than me. I wouldnt judge someone for having a big age gap (providing the younger person is over the age of consent).

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(edited 10 years ago)

Reply 8

Jezebelle

My auntie and her partner have a 20 year gap (my auntie is 50 and her partner 30). They've been dating for at least 3 years, live together and seem really happy. I do wonder about their long term chances as now they have similar health levels but in 10 years you're looking at a 40 year old and a 60 year old, or in 20 years when it's 50 and 70. Even though its the same age gap to me it seems so much bigger as you're in a situation where the younger person will still be wanting to have new life experiences etc but will be restrained by the older person, they might have to care for them. I am really happy for them and hope it does work out but age gap relationships certainly have more challenges.

I think as long as people have the same sort of life goals any age gap can work. Which is why I think the biggest challenge to big age gaps is the idea of having children (remember Monica and Richard on friends :P).

The oldest age gap I know of is my neighbour who recently left her 10 years older husband for a man that must be at least 30 years older.

I think it's ok the judge others in your head, it's natural. However you shouldn't talk about it or try and interfere, it doesn't effect you. As long as its legal there shouldn't be any control on people's age gaps.

I wouldn't go any bigger than a 20 year gap (my parents are 30 years older so wouldn't want someone their age). However I'd probably aim to stay 10-15 years gap if I wanted something long term.

Reply 9

DavidYorkshireFTW

The age gap between my dad and my mum is, 5 years I think :smile:

I think when you are younger it is less socially acceptable to have a larger age gap. If you think about it, when my dad was 18, my mum was 12, that's wrong, but later in life it's fine. I was 17 and the girl I was seeing was 15, but I didn't do anything because that's illegal, but now I'm nearly 19 and she is 16 we are still really close. Once both of you reach 16 it become a lot more socially acceptable :smile:

Reply 10

Dr. Robert

To me, the rules are simple. Once you get to 16, you can do whatever you like with whoever you like! :colondollar:

I personally wouldn't be interested in anyone over three years older/younger than me, but I can't be sure til I'm put in the situation.

Age is a pretty strange topic, eh?

Reply 11

Катя

One of my closest friends is nearly 19 and her boyfriend is nearly 40. They've been together for over a year. I may not understand it myself, but I do think that people should be able to do what they like (given that, you know, there's consent and nobody's under the age of 16).

Reply 12

Kazbian

I think a 20 year age gap is bizarre, but people can do whatever they want as long as they are both consenting adults.

For me personally (I'm 21), I can't see me being with someone younger than 20 or older than the late 20s. My current partner is about 6 months younger than me, so there is no age gap really.

Reply 13

UK_Menna

Thanks for all your replies guys!

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Reply 14

Mrx123

the age gap between me and my fiancé is 3 yrs but 20..... that sounds like a massive age gap

I wouldn't have anything against it as long as there both past 16 and know what there doing

Reply 15

NatalieRamsden

You can't help who you fall in love with. I have always socialised better with people of a different age to me. I have had friends both younger and older. I think it connects to there being a rather mature side to me. My boyfriend is 8 years older than me. After divorcing, my parents both remarried, 1 age gap spans 9 years and the other spans about 16 years. I positively welcome age gaps. My sister is 2 years younger and I have 2 brothers, 1 who is 8 years younger and 1 who is nearly 19 years younger. :biggrin:

Reply 16

User990473

I'd just put it into the foolproof formula:

\frac{age}{2}+7 =

minimum age relationship boundary

(edited 10 years ago)

Reply 17

Med_Geek

20 years for me would be wayyyy too much! With that said, if that is what people want to do, then so be it :smile:

I personally wouldn't be able to be with someone younger. I prefer older men, I'd say 7-8 years would be the limit, I'd like them to be in the same age decade as me at various points in our lives (if that makes sense lol).

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Reply 18

Fullofsurprises

I think it varies according to age. When you are 20, having a relationship with a guy older than 30 is quite strange and definitely hard to handle - I wouldn't like to try it. However, I know a woman who is 36 and she is the partner of a guy who is 55 and they get on so well and are the closest couple. It doesn't seem wierd at all with them.

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