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Hopelessly in love with this guy (we're both guys) HELP ME TSR! :(

So a few hrs ago, I posted this thread and realized why I didn't get much replies (I posted it on the wrong thread! x_x )

Here it is, so can you help me TSR? I'm genuinely desperate and need your help on this :frown:

Right. Story cut short. I'm 21, bi, college student, and met this guy through a friend. We haven't talked much (tho I do have him on whatsapp and talk to him from time to time), I have fallen head over heels for him since day 1, the moment I saw him. He's 19.

Anyway, we're not close, even tho I tried so much with the help of a female friend (she knows bout me) and we keep inviting him out and stuff but he's "always busy studying". He's constantly studying, always in the library. (sometimes I just go there to see him :colondollar:

)

He's a bit of a loner? Likes to be alone, and sometimes hangs out with the same 2 or 3 guy friends of his. It's been months and I keep wanting to get close but he never has time!

I keep telling him let's go out soon he's like sure man no problem, and when the time comes, he's like oh sorry I can't I have so much work.

Anyway, so I gave up on that, but didn't give up on him. I dunno, there's something about him that caught my attention. He's so good looking and fit (doesn't work out tho) and the fact that he's into psychology and philosophy (even tho he's specializing in Engineering makes him even sexier).

I guess what I'm trying to say TSR, is that how I can know if he's into me? I know I have to personally go and ask him, because I would truly regret it if I don't, but the thing is, I live in a very close minded society where I have to be quite discreet about my bisexuality. I want to tell him so bad but I'm afraid of 2 things: 1) him hating me and telling others (I'd kill myself, i have a rep in uni and no one but 2 of my friends know) 2) or worse rejection because he's not gay

But I seriously want to find out if he likes me or not. I did everything. I just can't seem to get him out of my mind. Almost 9 months and this guy's been in my head. I try to move on and find someone else but I can't. Telling him I'm into guys or that I like him is out of the question because of the society which I'm in. I'm so hopelessly in love with him, it's killing me so much.

What can I do TSR? Please help me

Reply 1

gagaslilmonsteruk

Your second point - how can you prove it? He might be LGBT but spending more time away from you whilst he discovers who he really is. Sounds like he's either in denial or really doesn't know where on the spectrum he fits.

Reply 2

Son of Vivaldi

Are you Asian? Tell him you love him and he might reciprocate or he might not. Better than living in denial.

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

Original post by Son of Vivaldi

Are you Asian? Tell him you love him and he might reciprocate or he might not. Better than living in denial.

no I'm not Asian. I can't tell him, because what if he's not and goes tell others? I'll lose everything!

Reply 4

Son of Vivaldi

Original post by Anonymous

no I'm not Asian. I can't tell him, because what if he's not and goes tell others? I'll lose everything!

Stop being so dramatic. You won't lose everything. You might usurp a few looks here and there but surely you're strong enough to deal with this kind of stigma. Think about all of the open gays/bi in the LGBT who have families and friends. People are more accepting now.

If he's a decent guy then he'll respect your feelings and still be your friend should you tell him your feelings. If he never wants to hear from you again then he's not worth the effort and you should feel like a tool reminiscing over him for 8 months.

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

Original post by Son of Vivaldi

You don't understand. I'm not being dramatic. The society im in won't accept this. Not my friends or family

Reply 6

arrowhead

You can't run away from who you are. Have you thought about what you will do if he (1) turns out to be gay/bi and (2) is interested in you. With your closeted-ness, you can't really date openly, nor can you really have a meaningful relationship if you're constantly hiding and looking over your shoulder.

I hate to suggest this and please don't take it the wrong way, but do you think he made an assumption about your sexuality and by ignoring your is gently turning you down. I say this because one of my good friends at uni, who is gay, had this happen to him by a guy he was really into (who turned out to be straight). You should prepare yourself for every eventuality.

As for specific advice: you know what you need to do. Pluck up the courage and ask him and take whatever response you get with dignity. At least then the tension you've been building up in your head will be over and you could move on.