Is it rude to ask someone how much they're paid?

Scroll to see replies

I think it's rude as it places people in an awkward position. My past salaries would suggest I haven't achieved much, but my bank balance suggests a different story.

I don't want people thinking I've underachieved, nor do I want people knowing how much money I have.

Anyway, if you really need to know how much someone earns, you can make a reasonable guess after a quick Google search.

Reply 21

Ripper-Roo

Original post by SophiaKeuning

I think we should be open and honest about it. Especially with sexism regarding pay. That is an issue that is not loud and clear enough. Women still to this day get paid less than men but what bothers you is that it is unbecoming to ask people what they earn? Well **** them. Let's not pander to sexism. Let's make things awkward.

Making things awkward for someone who probably isn't to blame? Sweeet

Reply 22

Ben Kenobi

Don't ask if it is only snobby intentions. Ask if you would be interested to buy it or wondering how much that type of thing costs

Reply 23

bluemax

this thread has been done before.

Anyway, if its your friend or someone you're comfortable with maybe its okay to ask them. otherwise its sort of a personal thing and most people won't exactly be comfortable if you ask them something like this.

Reply 24

SuziieB

Original post by SophiaKeuning

Must everything always boil down to sexism? Sheesh...

Posted from TSR Mobile

Reply 25

SophiaKeuning

Original post by Ripper-Roo

Making things awkward for someone who probably isn't to blame? Sweeet

Original post by Hopple

You do realise you've just said "Well **** them" to men specifically who have done nothing wrong except accept a job offer (they have no input on salary negotiations for other same level employees), with the intent of making things awkward for them?

You are clearly far more sexist than an employer who is merely trying to maximise profits by reducing expenditure on salaries.

Same goes for you. Hell yes. Making things awkward versus blatant sexism. My, I do wonder why you think the former is far more of a crime. It's not that horrible asking people how much they earn, I can't comprehend why I would be the bad one here. I'll repeat, **** being polite, this is a real issue and does not need pandering to.

It's bizarre how you think women being paid less than men is less of a crime than people asking people how much they earn.

Reply 26

Ripper-Roo

Original post by SophiaKeuning

If it makes them aware of the situation, then of course. Nothing will every change if we pretend it doesn't exist. Is saving a minute of awkwardness more important to you? If black people were paid less i don't think you'll be saying this. Women get paid less. But oh well, we don't want to talk about it and make a man feel a bit of discomfort god bless him.

Same goes for you. Hell yes. Making things awkward versus blatant sexism. My, I do wonder why you think the former is far more of a crime. It's not that horrible asking people how much they earn, I can't comprehend why I would be the bad one here. I'll repeat, **** being polite, this is a real issue and does not need pandering to.

It's bizarre how you think women being paid less than men is less of a crime than people asking people how much they earn.

But why is it his fault? Do you make a kid in a class who scores the highest mark in a test feel awkward for someone who achieves a lower score?

You need to address the factors why there is a gender pay gap. One reason is that women consider being homemakers and enter part time work when their children are growing up.

Reply 27

Hopple

Original post by SophiaKeuning

You're attacking the innocents. It's not men's fault they don't have as long parental leave, and nor is it their fault if they negotiated a higher salary (well, it is, but not in a bad way).

Reply 28

CJKay

Original post by Ripper-Roo

Why do you need to know m8?

Why would you feel offended if I had a reason to ask?

Reply 29

Ripper-Roo

Original post by CJKay

Why would you feel offended if I had a reason to ask?

Give me a good reason

Reply 30

CJKay

Original post by Ripper-Roo

Give me a good reason

Perhaps I want to get into the same area of expertise and would like to know how much I'd be looking to earn.
Now your turn. Why would you be offended if I asked?

Reply 31

Ripper-Roo

Original post by CJKay

Perhaps I want to get into the same area of expertise and would like to know how much I'd be looking to earn.
Now your turn. Why would you be offended if I asked?

I didn't say I'd be offended, I said it was personal and irrelevant in most cases.

It obviously depends on the context. I would give you an approximate amount anyway, for many professional jobs there isn't a set income as commission needs to be taken into account. Still, you could do your own research if you were looking into a particular industry.

What's wrong with wanting to keep information to yourself?

Reply 32

~ Aquamarine ~

Depends, if it's a close family member/friend then they don't really care saying how much they are paid if the topic comes up in conversation. I think it's rude to just ask somebody you don't know very well. I remember in secondary school whenever we had a guest speaker giving a talk on the job they do and how to get into that kind of work the first question a student would ask is how much they are paid :rolleyes:

My teachers used to get so stressed haha

Reply 33

cambio wechsel

Original post by Hopple

You're attacking the innocents.

But if Debs or Lisa at work asked me for indication of how my pay compares to a quoted figure, I wouldn't really feel "attacked".

Reply 34

username877577

Depends who.
I ask family/close friends all the time and they don't mind

Posted from TSR Mobile

Reply 35

Hopple

Original post by cambio wechsel

But if Debs or Lisa at work asked me for indication of how my pay compares to a quoted figure, I wouldn't really feel "attacked".

Read her post and tell me there isn't a sexist attack on men in there.

I'd say it is rude to ask. Even out of curiousity, it's personal information. And the reason proposed here for asking is to use it as a bargaining chip to get more from your employer (leaving less for your rival), or undercut your rivals (putting their job security at risk) which definitely makes it an attack. Whatever the gender, age, race, etc of the people involved, it's rude to ask and you should not do so.

Reply 36

thesabbath

Another import from American liberals no doubt. A vulgar and unbecoming question.

Any man with his head screwed on won't even tell his wife or girlfriend what he makes.

Reply 37

cambio wechsel

Original post by Hopple

the reason proposed here for asking is to use it as a bargaining chip

Well, yes. And I want that they should have it because I want them fairly paid if they're not being. The "private information" bit is of course what allows the HR people to avoid transparency here and has led to this encouraging of a shortcut... just tell a male pal in the same role what you earn and ask whether he thinks you're getting short-changed.

In my role, the job title has a salary-scale that could see two people doing the same job with a pay difference of up to £10,000 (I'm a bit older than most posters here). And that's serious money; still more so when aggregated over 5 or 10 or 30 years.

Now I loosely suppose that I'm paid more than Debs and I feel that if right this is defensible - I'm better qualified, longer-serving and perhaps more productive. But if I'm paid significantly more than Lisa then that is a proper scandal and I want her armed for battle with HR. I didn't negotiate my starting salary and haven't angled for pay-rises, they have only come my way. So if I've gotten that and she hasn't, someone wants tearing off a strip. I'd cheerfully go with her to do it, too, as I can't abide the HR jackasses ~~and I fancy Lisa like mad~~.

And perhaps they'd have a rationale to explain the difference in this instance, though I cannot imagine what it might be. But if there were a generalised patterning...

(edited 10 years ago)

Reply 38

FreedomCostsTax

If they are a good friend of yours, then no, it's not rude.

Reply 39

SophiaKeuning

Original post by SuziieB

Must everything always boil down to sexism? Sheesh...

Posted from TSR Mobile

You think the fact that women earn less than men has nothing to do with gender? Ignorance is bliss. Sheeeeesh. What is it down to then? Women are a minority in politics and high business roles, men dominate the news and women dominate the tabloids. But nope, sheesh, it sure is a darn pain how evewything books down to sexism.