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Should I transfer unis because I'm homesick?!

So I started Uni in London 3 weeks ago, the people in my flat and on my course are lovely and we get on like a house on fire, the place is amazing, the lectures are fantastic and I'm at the best place for my course in the country ... and still I find myself crying every single day because I'm SO homesick. I miss my family so much and all that's keeping me going is counting down the days until I go home! I'm actually at home right now and have to catch a bus back to London tomorrow but in my mind right now, I'm not going back. I know it's only been 3 weeks and I still have to give it time but crying everyday for almost a month, for a non-crier like me, is very trying - I thought I was 100% ready to move out, how wrong was I?!
I've emailed a uni within driving distance of my home, so I can commute, to ask if I can transfer (I meet all of the entry requirements, it places pretty well in rankings and the course is very good) - anyone had any experiences of bad homesickness or transferring uni? Any advice is welcome :smile:
Original post by IHaveMySpys
So I started Uni in London 3 weeks ago, the people in my flat and on my course are lovely and we get on like a house on fire, the place is amazing, the lectures are fantastic and I'm at the best place for my course in the country ... and still I find myself crying every single day because I'm SO homesick. I miss my family so much and all that's keeping me going is counting down the days until I go home! I'm actually at home right now and have to catch a bus back to London tomorrow but in my mind right now, I'm not going back. I know it's only been 3 weeks and I still have to give it time but crying everyday for almost a month, for a non-crier like me, is very trying - I thought I was 100% ready to move out, how wrong was I?!
I've emailed a uni within driving distance of my home, so I can commute, to ask if I can transfer (I meet all of the entry requirements, it places pretty well in rankings and the course is very good) - anyone had any experiences of bad homesickness or transferring uni? Any advice is welcome :smile:

You're unlikely to find help for this in the Chat forum, which isn't really designed for specific questions like this. :tongue: I've moved your thread to the Universities forums, where you should be able to find others who can help you with this sort of thing. :smile:
Reply 2
Original post by Illusionary
You're unlikely to find help for this in the Chat forum, which isn't really designed for specific questions like this. :tongue: I've moved your thread to the Universities forums, where you should be able to find others who can help you with this sort of thing. :smile:

Thank you!! :smile:
Reply 3
You've only been at uni for 3 weeks, obviously this is not going to be enough time to properly adjust from living at home for 18+ years. Don't you think you should give it a little more time?

Posted from TSR Mobile
Original post by IHaveMySpys
So I started Uni in London 3 weeks ago, the people in my flat and on my course are lovely and we get on like a house on fire, the place is amazing, the lectures are fantastic and I'm at the best place for my course in the country ... and still I find myself crying every single day because I'm SO homesick. I miss my family so much and all that's keeping me going is counting down the days until I go home! I'm actually at home right now and have to catch a bus back to London tomorrow but in my mind right now, I'm not going back. I know it's only been 3 weeks and I still have to give it time but crying everyday for almost a month, for a non-crier like me, is very trying - I thought I was 100% ready to move out, how wrong was I?!
I've emailed a uni within driving distance of my home, so I can commute, to ask if I can transfer (I meet all of the entry requirements, it places pretty well in rankings and the course is very good) - anyone had any experiences of bad homesickness or transferring uni? Any advice is welcome :smile:


I would probably try staying a bit longer. Maybe start off by going home every weekend (or maybe even twice a week if you are able) so that you are still able to see your family a lot. Then maybe try decreasing it to once a fortnight etc. and just keep trying this until you don't feel as homesick. You can always skype them every night as well. So I think you should just try giving it a bit longer.
Reply 5
Original post by amyc123
You've only been at uni for 3 weeks, obviously this is not going to be enough time to properly adjust from living at home for 18+ years. Don't you think you should give it a little more time?

Posted from TSR Mobile


Original post by brittanna
I would probably try staying a bit longer. Maybe start off by going home every weekend (or maybe even twice a week if you are able) so that you are still able to see your family a lot. Then maybe try decreasing it to once a fortnight etc. and just keep trying this until you don't feel as homesick. You can always skype them every night as well. So I think you should just try giving it a bit longer.




I know I haven't given it long at all, I figured that 'getting the ball rolling' with the transfer would prevent a chance of it becoming impossible in the following months which would be a nightmare if I still felt the same as I do now! :lol: I did ask in my email if it would be possible to transfer after Christmas, if I decide to transfer, to give me some more time to mull over it - although I don't know if this is possible as I don't really know much about it all!
I've been skyping every day, multiple times with my parents and have gone home but this isn't helping much, distancing myself from them is even worse!
(edited 10 years ago)
I left uni in my first year after christmas i really had a lot of time to mull it over and in the end decided I would talk it over with my tutor and I decided to leave apply some where else and work for the rest of the year which I did I then went to solent stayed in southampton in halls and had a great time like citys all universotys are diffrent but 3 weeks isn't a long time give it another 3 if you still feel homesick then this one isn't right try somewhere else

Posted from TSR Mobile
Imagine yourself in October 2014. Which option would you be likely to regret more? Staying where you are, or transferring? If you are still feeling like this later in the year, it is sometimes possible to transfer into year 2 at a different uni, provided the courses cover much the same ground (I know someone who did this at the end of year 1 and is now on for a first.) It's a big leap to go away from home for the first time. But you say that you love the place, the course, and are making friends, which are all really positive things. If you transfer and find yourself hating the new course, you will be kicking yourself later. So keep busy, work hard and play hard, and the term will fly by!
Reply 8
Make yourself stay till Christmas. You haven't had long enough to adjust yet. I think a lot more people are homesick than let on. If the situation is still unworkable after the Christmas Hols you will still have time to change courses without too much damage being done in terms of what you have to catch up. If you chuck it in too soon you may end up with regrets you don't need.
Reply 9
I was pretty homesick in first year, although I think most of it was just that my halls seemed pretty lonely. I'd been at the same school for more than 12 years and was used to having friends to eat with, meet up with etc. and then going home to my family and it was a massive culture shock to suddenly not have people always around. It took me months and months to make some really good close friends, especially because I'd basically never had to try much to make new friends before... ever!

Anyway, that aside, I basically made myself stay at Uni for three weekends right at the start and felt so miserable and like I was somehow failing at University and letting myself down. Then I caved and just went home for the weekend. After that I went home most or every other weekend, which was perfect for me. I had people around me during the week and then during those long weekends where I couldn't fill all of Saturday and Sunday with social stuff and ended up feeling really isolated, I popped home on the train.

When I moved out in second year to live with some actual flatmates who I knew well, I hardly went home at all because all that went away. So I guess what I'd say is that if it's making you miserable, just go home. Stay if there's something social going on at the weekend, try to arrange stuff to do and don't let home > your social life at Uni in any way, but don't torture yourself. That's basically what I realised I was doing. You'll get used to it and if you view going home as like a safety net, then it'll probably help a lot with how you feel the rest of the time. I felt like a massive failure doing it, but it's better to feel like a bit of a failure than being in emotional turmoil the whole time! I felt unhappy with myself but so so much happier than I'd been before!

I don't know where you lived before but I also think that London is a massive culture shock in itself. Polluted, busy, dirty, noisy... most of the things I love doing are impossible, unpleasant or very limited in London. It's so big and so busy that you never seem to bump into anybody you know by serendipity etc. That's just my opinion. Anyway, stick it out and try to find some sort of compromise where you feel happy is my advice. It will pass at some point, and until then there's no point in leaving a great course where you've made great friends to transfer away.
(edited 10 years ago)

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