Learn to love your body

Scroll to see replies

i dont like my body much and i look at it as little as possible but i know that other people think im beautiful and thats good enough for me

Reply 21

allymcb2

No I dont think its possible. But I dont think lowering your standards to make yourself happy is ever a good thing to do and there are always improvements you can make.

Reply 22

allymcb2

The idea isnt to stop noticeing your faults, but to stop having faults. If you achieve that you deserve your pedastal

Reply 23

Doodahdoo

You will always, always have faults. So why set yourself up to fail?

You are constantly focusing on lowering your standards - it isn't about that. Its accepting your own limitations, but also striving to be the best that you can be, not the best that everyone else thinks you should be.

Reply 24

amie

allymcb2

The idea isnt to stop noticeing your faults, but to stop having faults. If you achieve that you deserve your pedastal

But some faults can't be changed.

I'm 5ft tall but my ideal would be about 6 inches taller. So what do I do - pay stupid amounts of money on a painful operation to lengthen my legs a couple of inches in the hope that I'll be nearer my ideal, or accept that that particular ideal is a fantasy and learn to love the height that I am to stop myself becoming depressed and lacking self-confidence?

Reply 25

Yorkiebar

Simulatio

But you look in the mirror and see no faults - whats to say that you won't become extremly self-centred as a result. Putting yourself on a pedastal, since you cannot notice your faults.

Is that then perfection? Is that the ideal?

That's not what I'm trying to say. I'll admit that I have faults, I just don't care what they are. I'm happy with having a fairly average appearance and don't worry about anything more major than looking tidy, clean-shaven and spot-free. I suppose you could say that I have reached my ideal, because I never had a distant goal to aim towards in the first place. This doesn't make me self-centered, because I realise that many people are more attractive than me. I just don't mind that they are.

- Yorkie.

EDIT: @ the below post: Ah, okay then. Never mind.

Reply 26

Doodahdoo

That wasn't aimed at you, honey. I admire you and I admire what you said. =)

I was aiming it at AllyMCB2

Reply 27

allymcb2

It IS lowering your standards to accept less than perfect. If you really care that much, sure go ahead with leg op.

Reply 28

Doodahdoo

hypothetical situation; you get cancer. You have to have one breast removed.

Is this perfect? Will it make you more depressed? Is depression perfection?

Reply 29

amie

allymcb2

It IS lowering your standards to accept less than perfect. If you really care that much, sure go ahead with leg op.

What a load of crap. Nobody's perfect, we all have flaws. Clearly yours is an inability to formulate a coherent argument. What are you doing to solve that?

There are certain things about ourselves that we can't change. Skin colour is a good example. Now, following your logic we must change this rather than accept it if we'd prefer to be black than white, for example. How?

I think I can see where you're coming from - if you're overweight, then why not just do something about it? But you're coming across as if you don't realise that we can't change or improve everything.

Reply 30

generalebriety

Christ, another argument.

To be honest I side with neither point of view here. Why should you "love" the way you look even if you really do look like ****? Why should you be proud of something that quite clearly isn't good? If you've been told you look like a certain famous ugly person, or animal, or inanimate object before, is that something you should be happy about simply because that's you? No, not at all, you look like crap - don't "love" it, don't be "proud of" it, don't be "happy" about it. On the other hand I don't believe in going out and getting surgery to change the way you look. Dress yourself up, sure, but don't go and melt yourself just to have a nose that tiny bit smaller or something. It's stupid. So while we shouldn't love/be proud of/be happy about our physical faults, we should accept them. The biggest vanity here is not that you've accepted the way you look; it's changing yourself to look better because you don't think your looks quite match up to the person you think you are.

Reply 31

generalebriety

amie

There are certain things about ourselves that we can't change. Skin colour is a good example. Now, following your logic we must change this rather than accept it if we'd prefer to be black than white, for example. How?

There's a cruel joke or two behind there involving Michael Jackson, who is a clear example of a hypocrite who said "it doesn't matter if you're black or white" then went ahead to be the first person to make it matter so much he turned his face to playdough.

Simulatio

Of course it's your perfection if you look in the mirror and see no faults. It is a type of arrogance but if you see no faults with yourself and other people do then it's them that are at fault, not you... from your point of view, at least.

Simulatio

Is depression perfection?

Letting your argument slip? :smile:

Reply 32

horrorboy

generalebriety

Yea but he did it because of a medical condition he says, even if he did it purely for cosmetic reasons he just prefered it like that, it doesn't mean that he thinks skin colour matters. Like if you changed your hair colour it doesn't mean that you think hair colour matters.

Reply 33

allymcb2

Yes there are some things you cannot change. I am in the process of changing my skin colour, so you can do that. But that doesnt mean you should just accept them. Whats wrong with disliking them intensely? At least you retain your real opinion as opposed to forcing yourself to live in a pleasing house of lies.

Reply 34

generalebriety

horrorboy

it doesn't mean that he thinks skin colour matters. Like if you changed your hair colour it doesn't mean that you think hair colour matters.

This is completely illogical. If it doesn't matter why does he prefer it a certain way? I don't think my hair colour matters so I don't feel compelled to change it.

allymcb2

I am in the process of changing my skin colour, so you can do that. But that doesnt mean you should just accept them. Whats wrong with disliking them intensely? At least you retain your real opinion as opposed to forcing yourself to live in a pleasing house of lies.

I agree with you. But then deciding to change your skin colour is just silly. Unless you really are green or something, there's nothing wrong with your skin colour. Feel free to dislike it and yet accept it and just get on with it instead of paying god knows how much for surgery to weaken your skin but make it look what you deem "more attractive" for 10 years or so. (Edit: then again, I could understand if it was a particularly bad birthmark or something.)

Besides, you can tell someone's race from their facial structure, not just from their skin colour, which is why Michael Jackson has also had loads of face reconstruction - a black guy who gets white skin is not just suddenly a white guy, there are more subtleties to it than that.

Reply 35

amie

allymcb2

How on Earth do you change your skin colour? I mean, can you go from white to black? Or just black to white?

Personally I'd prefer to accept my height than hate it. I've hated it for most of my life and it made me miserable. I'm much happier with myself and in general now that I've accepted that it's the way I am. And if you genuinely have accepted it, it won't be a lie because you'll be okay with it. I don't like my height, but I don't dislike it. I'm neutral - that is my real opinion now.

Edit: got my blacks and whites mixed up!

Reply 36

generalebriety

amie

How on Earth do you change your skin colour? I mean, can you go from black to white? Or just the white to black?

Well, melanin is what determines how black your skin is... so I imagine it's just melanin "transplant" / removal of some sort, or plastic surgery involving skin grafting with skin that's had its colour changed already.

amie

Personally I'd prefer to accept my height than hate it. I've hated it for most of my life and it made me miserable. I'm much happier with myself and in general now that I've accepted that it's the way I am. And if you genuinely have accepted it, it won't be a lie because you'll be okay with it. I don't like my height, but I don't dislike it. I'm neutral - that is my real opinion now.

Exactly. I might not like the occasional spot that I get or something but in general I accept what I look like, without liking or disliking it. I'm only here for 75 years or so. Why waste it all wishing I could've looked like someone else? Looks make a first impression but if looks are all someone concentrates on they're not worth knowing anyway. :smile:

Reply 37

allymcb2

or johnsons moisturising self tan

Reply 38

Yorkiebar

amie

How on Earth do you change your skin colour? I mean, can you go from black to white? Or just white to black?

Most people seem to go from white to orange :p:

. Regardless of what you think, girls, fake tans do NOT look good. No, really, they don't. It's a simple fact that changing your appearance through surgery or other means can make you less attractive, simply because you've used such extreme measures.

- Yorkie.

Reply 39

allymcb2

yeah, if you screw it up. But a lot of people have lots of surgary and look good.