I think I am falling for my friend... (both guys)
Well, here it is, I am helping one of my friends in our course because we are both doing foundation science and I done bio, chem and maths last year and he didn't do that, he did a combination of Psychology, English, General studies,Geography and two other subjects I can't remember now, anyway, I think I am beginning to like the guy...
I have been helping him for the last couple of weeks and well, don't need to say any more. =l
We have been in the same class for the last 3 weeks but have only been speaking for like the last 2 weeks.
Yes, I know I'm gay, known since I was like 12. Haven't come out at uni yet though, typically wait at least a term and let people know me as a person rather than a homosexual so they judge me and not my sexuality.
I have been helping him for the last couple of weeks and well, don't need to say any more. =l
We have been in the same class for the last 3 weeks but have only been speaking for like the last 2 weeks.
Yes, I know I'm gay, known since I was like 12. Haven't come out at uni yet though, typically wait at least a term and let people know me as a person rather than a homosexual so they judge me and not my sexuality.
Can anyone offer any serious help here?
If he is not gay himself, there is nothing you can do. You might have feelings for him, but it would not be smart to try and act upon them.
Find a way to get over him and if you can't, and it is tearing you apart on the inside, the best option would be to avoid him as much as possible. Good luck to you, it isn't easy being gay, hopefully things work out for you, if not with this guy, then with some other
Find a way to get over him and if you can't, and it is tearing you apart on the inside, the best option would be to avoid him as much as possible. Good luck to you, it isn't easy being gay, hopefully things work out for you, if not with this guy, then with some other
I think it's good that you're letting people know you as a person rather than knowing you by your sexuality. As you get to know people they'll probably start to realise cos you won't be giving girls romantic attention ect. and when they start realising you can let them know and they won't be shocked or anything.
Is the guy straight? If you're sure he is, then there's not a lot you can do about liking him, you should try and only see him as a friend, or distance yourself a bit if it starts making you upset.
Is the guy straight? If you're sure he is, then there's not a lot you can do about liking him, you should try and only see him as a friend, or distance yourself a bit if it starts making you upset.
Try talking to him more and find his intrests and hobbies out and take it from there, see if he wants any one and on study time. Look out for any changes in his behaviour if its only u 2 alone. If he's bi or gay he might open up to u or give u hints.
If u need more advise send me a p/m. I've been in ur shoes and now I got a boyfriend from following advise, I will help
If u need more advise send me a p/m. I've been in ur shoes and now I got a boyfriend from following advise, I will help
Original post by callum12334
Try talking to him more and find his intrests and hobbies out and take it from there, see if he wants any one and on study time. Look out for any changes in his behaviour if its only u 2 alone. If he's bi or gay he might open up to u or give u hints.
If u need more advise send me a p/m. I've been in ur shoes and now I got a boyfriend from following advise, I will help
If u need more advise send me a p/m. I've been in ur shoes and now I got a boyfriend from following advise, I will help
I already know a bit about him, hobbies, instrument, email, phone number, facebook, where he is from...
I know a decent bit about him already, anyway, I sorta got to go, need to pick up a notebook for Monday for the chemistry practical because we need to bring in something to record observations on. =l
Original post by Hellz_Bellz!
Surprise butt sex.
Hellz_Bellz bring me my chastity belt.
To help you with your situation, I would just like to say he is not likely to be gay as in UK approximately 2% of population is gay. http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-11398629 So best to get over him as he probably does not return the feelings or ask him what he thinks about LGBT to give you some clues.
You really need to find out his sexuality. If he's straight, get it in stone in your mind that nothing will ever happen. I've had straight crushes and it can be frustrating, but I just tell myself to move on and deal with it, and somehow, I just do. If he's gay/bi, then go for it.
I would say it's unlikely that he's gay given that you don't know it already. Obviously not all gay men are camp and obviously gay, but the ones who aren't, I tend to find, will still probably have hinted at it at some point in the few weeks you've known them.
Can you not just ask him if he has a girlfriend or something? Some small talk about whether he wants a gf etc.
I think the biggest problem here, though, may be that you are not out. If you were out, then he'd know and he would mention LGBT-related stuff to you if he's gay too. Guaranteed.
On a completely unrelated note, please do come out, you'll feel so much better about yourself. Coming out was the best decision I've made of my life
This is completely illogical. The people who judge you for your sexuality will still judge you for that regardless of whether they've known you for a minute or a term, so why wait for them to change when they're not going to? Life is short, you don't have time to be someone you're not. Be yourself, and screw anyone who judges you for it. <3 x
I would say it's unlikely that he's gay given that you don't know it already. Obviously not all gay men are camp and obviously gay, but the ones who aren't, I tend to find, will still probably have hinted at it at some point in the few weeks you've known them.
Can you not just ask him if he has a girlfriend or something? Some small talk about whether he wants a gf etc.
I think the biggest problem here, though, may be that you are not out. If you were out, then he'd know and he would mention LGBT-related stuff to you if he's gay too. Guaranteed.
On a completely unrelated note, please do come out, you'll feel so much better about yourself. Coming out was the best decision I've made of my life
Original post by Anonymous
Yes, I know I'm gay, known since I was like 12. Haven't come out at uni yet though, typically wait at least a term and let people know me as a person rather than a homosexual so they judge me and not my sexuality.
This is completely illogical. The people who judge you for your sexuality will still judge you for that regardless of whether they've known you for a minute or a term, so why wait for them to change when they're not going to? Life is short, you don't have time to be someone you're not. Be yourself, and screw anyone who judges you for it. <3 x
Original post by Treeroy
This is completely illogical. The people who judge you for your sexuality will still judge you for that regardless of whether they've known you for a minute or a term, so why wait for them to change when they're not going to? Life is short, you don't have time to be someone you're not. Be yourself, and screw anyone who judges you for it. <3 x
It is not illogical. If you wait before coming out you can find out who is homophobic and you should not come out to. A person may also not be comfortable coming out with their sexuality to someone they don't know. Not to mention there is always a risk of getting bullied for it (I would expect people at this age to be mature enough not to though)
Personally I would wait and see if the guy is straight or not (the chances he is gay/bi are small, but it's worth a try). You could try to bring up a conversation about the LGBT community at some point and see what he says.
But it's important you don't get your hopes up, if he does turn out straight then there's nothing you can do about it other than try to get over him. Also, you have only just met the guy, so I doubt you would be deeply in love with him any time soon. Finding someone attractive or acknowledging they would make a good partner is not the same as actually having feelings for them.
Original post by Nadile
It is not illogical. If you wait before coming out you can find out who is homophobic and you should not come out to. A person may also not be comfortable coming out with their sexuality to someone they don't know. Not to mention there is always a risk of getting bullied for it (I would expect people at this age to be mature enough not to though)
"Who you shouldn't come out to" - if you're out, then homophobic people will know. This is not a point. And you've completely missed what I said anyway - I said his argument for staying in the closet was illogical, not that it is illogical to stay in the closet. You've ignored what I was responding to.
Original post by Ben Kenobi
To help you with your situation, I would just like to say he is not likely to be gay as in UK approximately 2% of population is gay. http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-11398629 So best to get over him as he probably does not return the feelings or ask him what he thinks about LGBT to give you some clues.
How do you bring up LGBT people/activities in a casual conversation?
Original post by Anonymous
How do you bring up LGBT people/activities in a casual conversation?
Maybe find some news on BBC.
Please wait until you find out if he's gay before making a move...that would be SUPER AWKS otherwise!
Obviously everyone's different but if you found out one of your same gender friend's fancied you, how would you react?
I am kind of aware this is probably more along the lines of lust than fancy/love because I haven't known him all that long (3 weeks) but still, isn't this how most things start? =P
I am kind of aware this is probably more along the lines of lust than fancy/love because I haven't known him all that long (3 weeks) but still, isn't this how most things start? =P
Original post by Anonymous
How do you bring up LGBT people/activities in a casual conversation?
Talk about gay marriage maybe? That's in the news I guess.
I think it'd be easier to ask him if he has a girlfriend or is looking for one or something.
Original post by Treeroy
"Who you shouldn't come out to" - if you're out, then homophobic people will know. This is not a point. And you've completely missed what I said anyway - I said his argument for staying in the closet was illogical, not that it is illogical to stay in the closet. You've ignored what I was responding to.
Sorry if I misunderstood what you said, I am a bit tired recently. Although I probably thought of "coming out" in the wrong way. I usually don't mean telling everyone by saying that, like "coming out" to a specific person for example.
By the way, I agree with you that it will be easier to just ask if he has a girlfriend. Haven't thought of that myself, I would also just recommend doing that instead of trying to start a conversation about LGBT community.
As for finding out a friend of the same gender as you fancies you, happened to me. Didn't really care for it. She is still my best friend (but that might be why it didn't bother me)
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