Unlikeable girls
In your opinions, do you think there are some traits which are universally unattractive in women (and men), platonically and romantically?
I've always had a hard time making and keeping friends, I can do the small talk bit but the friendship never gets past the first ten minutes and the people often forget me very quickly and stop recognising me (on purpose maybe?). It's the same with men - I think I'm good at the small talk bit, but it rarely gets beyond that. If someone is interested in me, it usually lasts less than a month and they just start blanking me, their way of telling me they're not interested I guess. On occasion I have made the first move, so if I have a good chat with a guy, I might text and ask if they had a good night etc, maybe ask to hang out, but I get consistently blanked. Eventually, every guy I've ever liked has just stopped talking to me.
Is it me or them?
I've always had a hard time making and keeping friends, I can do the small talk bit but the friendship never gets past the first ten minutes and the people often forget me very quickly and stop recognising me (on purpose maybe?). It's the same with men - I think I'm good at the small talk bit, but it rarely gets beyond that. If someone is interested in me, it usually lasts less than a month and they just start blanking me, their way of telling me they're not interested I guess. On occasion I have made the first move, so if I have a good chat with a guy, I might text and ask if they had a good night etc, maybe ask to hang out, but I get consistently blanked. Eventually, every guy I've ever liked has just stopped talking to me.
Is it me or them?
Bump
In answer to your initial question, no I don't think there is one thing that everyone finds unattractive. But having said that, it does seem like there's something you're doing wrong. Maybe you're too clingy or you don't wash very often or something, I don't know anything about you. But you should be able to spot a pattern somewhere, or you could ask the friends that you do have what they think.
hygiene is a big factor. tell us more about yourself as what you've told us is very vague
Pretty sure hygiene's not an issue. I think from a distance I come off a bit aloof but once I get chatting I think I'm pretty friendly, and I'm definitely not clingy.
Maybe the issue is that you aren't getting past the small talk bit. You can be as good at it as you like, but small talk is inherently dull. Small talk is ok for passing conversation, but if you aren't good at talking about things that interest your peers on a higher level (media, politics, religion, whatever floats their boat), then they aren't going to stay interested. You can only talk about the weather or the latest episode of Dr. Who for so long (pardon me to the Whovians who will jump all over me for that) before they'll move on to somebody who has more in common. Try starting a conversation with people about something more prominent than the "small talk topics" and see how it goes.
I don't think there is a universally unlikable trait, per se (with the exception of bad hygiene or socially inappropriate behaviour like grabbing yourself in public), but sometimes people just seem boring so everyone moves on.
I don't think there is a universally unlikable trait, per se (with the exception of bad hygiene or socially inappropriate behaviour like grabbing yourself in public), but sometimes people just seem boring so everyone moves on.
Original post by Anonymous
In your opinions, do you think there are some traits which are universally unattractive in women (and men), platonically and romantically?
I've always had a hard time making and keeping friends, I can do the small talk bit but the friendship never gets past the first ten minutes and the people often forget me very quickly and stop recognising me (on purpose maybe?). It's the same with men - I think I'm good at the small talk bit, but it rarely gets beyond that. If someone is interested in me, it usually lasts less than a month and they just start blanking me, their way of telling me they're not interested I guess. On occasion I have made the first move, so if I have a good chat with a guy, I might text and ask if they had a good night etc, maybe ask to hang out, but I get consistently blanked. Eventually, every guy I've ever liked has just stopped talking to me.
Is it me or them?
I've always had a hard time making and keeping friends, I can do the small talk bit but the friendship never gets past the first ten minutes and the people often forget me very quickly and stop recognising me (on purpose maybe?). It's the same with men - I think I'm good at the small talk bit, but it rarely gets beyond that. If someone is interested in me, it usually lasts less than a month and they just start blanking me, their way of telling me they're not interested I guess. On occasion I have made the first move, so if I have a good chat with a guy, I might text and ask if they had a good night etc, maybe ask to hang out, but I get consistently blanked. Eventually, every guy I've ever liked has just stopped talking to me.
Is it me or them?
Maybe you're going for the wrong type of guys?
Original post by Anonymous
the friendship never gets past the first ten minutes and the people often forget me very quickly and stop recognising me (on purpose maybe?)
I wouldn't go so far as to say you're blaming the other party for what happened, but I feel like you're separating yourself from responsibility too much. Reading your post, there's a lot of instances of "I tried to X but they cut me off" or 'they blanked me'. And sure, statistically speaking that's definitely a possibility, but it can't be true %100 of the time. You have to remember that most people don't do things without a justifiable reason; even if you feel like its bull****, their reasons are good enough for them.
Judging by the fact that you can't really identify what you may be doing wrong, I would say you might not be very self-aware. You could be saying things to these guys that completely turns them off, or you might be going too far. An example would be talking about your guy problems to a person you only met the night before, you'll come across as.. a little crazy (not that I'm accusing you of doing that)
I don't want to make you feel like you have to be self-concious, but feeling a little self-concious isn't a terrible idea, otherwise you will end up treading on people's toes.
(edited 10 years ago)
Peopel can sometimes have an annoying personality though even when they have the good looks in their favour. I knew a girl who had this and she got treated terribly by this man who had initially fancied her but she got carried away and evidently made him go off her to the extent that this happened:-
she was at his house and they were sitting in front of an open fire drinking wine and she, thinking they were at this stage of their interactions, put her hand on his knee and he said "What are you doing?!" and she said somethign like "We're good friends aren't we" and he said "We're not friends!" and stormed off upstairs, leaving her downstairs crying. Incrediby, she stayed there all night downstairs and when he came down in the mornign he said "Are you still here?!" She spend weeks crying over the phone to me about this, asking why he'd been so nasty to her, when it was evident to me (who also found her annoying - she'd nearly given me nervous breakdwon when she lodged with me for a period of time), that she hadn't read the signs that he had gone off her and had done the thing she did of dominating things and assuming the other person was as interested in her and doing stuff with her as she was in them. It can be more of a problem for attractive people as they will get strong interest intially, but this will be based on their looks, before the person has had a chance to see what they are like as a person.
she was at his house and they were sitting in front of an open fire drinking wine and she, thinking they were at this stage of their interactions, put her hand on his knee and he said "What are you doing?!" and she said somethign like "We're good friends aren't we" and he said "We're not friends!" and stormed off upstairs, leaving her downstairs crying. Incrediby, she stayed there all night downstairs and when he came down in the mornign he said "Are you still here?!" She spend weeks crying over the phone to me about this, asking why he'd been so nasty to her, when it was evident to me (who also found her annoying - she'd nearly given me nervous breakdwon when she lodged with me for a period of time), that she hadn't read the signs that he had gone off her and had done the thing she did of dominating things and assuming the other person was as interested in her and doing stuff with her as she was in them. It can be more of a problem for attractive people as they will get strong interest intially, but this will be based on their looks, before the person has had a chance to see what they are like as a person.
Quick Reply
Related discussions
- Question for Ukranian girls
- I hate being a girl
- Is anyone going to Bristol?
- Would you add a girl?
- What do women think about crossdressers ?
- Importance of hair in a guy
- do girls like Pakistanis over Indians?
- Why do people make fuss and are jealous of others in a relationship
- IGSCE english language prediction
- can I get more than 25% extra time on exams?
- Down With Love (2003) - better than Barbie!!!
- Witty reply needed asap
- can i get more than 25% extra time on exams?
- First ever date with a girl gone wrong, need advice 22f
- Practice questions- An inspector calls
- Is 5,1 too short
- Relationship query
- Would you date a girl who wears wigs?
- For those of you who have worked at restaurants, how did you poop?
- Girls do you see someone who works as a Security Officer as decent social status?
Latest
Trending
Last reply 4 days ago
My friend might be getting extra time and i hate it.Last reply 5 days ago
Just found out about UCL stat test but can't afford to sit itLast reply 2 weeks ago
Dad keeps criticising my university degree choiceLast reply 2 weeks ago
Is this pathetic or genuinely something to be upset aboutTrending
Last reply 4 days ago
My friend might be getting extra time and i hate it.Last reply 5 days ago
Just found out about UCL stat test but can't afford to sit itLast reply 2 weeks ago
Dad keeps criticising my university degree choiceLast reply 2 weeks ago
Is this pathetic or genuinely something to be upset about
