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Cheated on my boyfriend. Has he over-reacted? Need advice

I did the unspeakable and cheated on my boyfriend and he found out.

I’m 20 and he’s 36 years old. And we’re gay.

I moved into his flat on Friday and we decided to have a night out. We went to a gay bar, we both got really drunk. And he thought I got too friendly with another guy. He left the bar and threatened to punch me if I followed him. So I stayed in the bar and drunkenly started kissing the other the guy I was getting friendly with, but that’s as far as it went.

I messaged and rang my partner so many times the entire night but he said he didn’t care then stopped replying. I was homeless as I was staying with him and I had nowhere to go so I met another guy and stayed with him for the remainder of the night. I had no choice.

In the morning I went back to my boyfriend’s and he finally let me in and he asked where I’d stayed and I lied and said with a friend. He then asked to check my phone, as if I stayed with my friend I would’ve rang or texted him. He then took my phone, locked himself in the bathroom and read through all my messages. He found out I cheated on him with a few guys and been sexting loads more.

He then proceeded to grab me by the throat, throw me out in my underwear and threw all my belongings over the balcony onto the road. He was so angry and flipped. I was so scared, never felt so scared in my entire life.

He texted me loads of abuse. Saying how he was going to turn up to my work etc etc.

Now he’s saying he still loves me and wants to meet up.

I don’t know if I do want meet now. I saw a side to him that I’ve never seen before. I was so scared by his reaction. And a part of my thinks he’s only asking to meet up so he can take revenge. He’s threatened to hit me.
And I don’t think I can face him. I can’t forgive myself for how much I’ve hurt him and things could never go back to how they were.

Do you guys think he over reacted or are his actions justified?
We’ve only been dating for a couple of months and I do love and care for him. Should I meet with him?

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I'm speechless.
Reply 2
I don't think him losing his **** like a little child is justified really. Especially for a 36 year old...
Reply 3
He's a prick, end of.
Dafq

Um well I would leave tbh, you shouldn't have cheated and he shouldn't have grabbed you by the throat...
Reply 5
I just...

You're both as bad as each other. You've cheated on him more than once which is appalling and he's aggressive and violent which is equally as appalling.

Why did you think it was a good idea to move in with him? You've only been together for a few months and have been cheating on him throughout that time!
Reply 6
What he did was out of order, but understandable. You're also a bit misguiding when you start by saying you just kissed this other guy, but then it turns out you've cheated on him several times already anyway...

Also, you don't love him - you've only been going out for two months and have managed to cheat on him more than once already? :lol:
(edited 10 years ago)
Reply 7
I think you're both dicks. :dontknow:
Reply 8
Original post by tooosh
He's a prick, end of.

HES a prick?
Reply 9
Both as bad as each other I'm afraid, just at different ends of the spectrum :rolleyes:
Reply 10
Original post by Echo*12
I did the unspeakable and cheated on my boyfriend and he found out.

I’m 20 and he’s 36 years old. And we’re gay.

Should I meet with him?


Original post by coatsoft
HES a prick?


Let me just make that clearer for you.
Both in the wrong. However a massive over reaction. block his number and move on with your life.
Reply 12
Original post by Echo*12
I did the unspeakable and cheated on my boyfriend and he found out.

I’m 20 and he’s 36 years old. And we’re gay.

I moved into his flat on Friday and we decided to have a night out. We went to a gay bar, we both got really drunk. And he thought I got too friendly with another guy. He left the bar and threatened to punch me if I followed him. So I stayed in the bar and drunkenly started kissing the other the guy I was getting friendly with, but that’s as far as it went.

I messaged and rang my partner so many times the entire night but he said he didn’t care then stopped replying. I was homeless as I was staying with him and I had nowhere to go so I met another guy and stayed with him for the remainder of the night. I had no choice.

In the morning I went back to my boyfriend’s and he finally let me in and he asked where I’d stayed and I lied and said with a friend. He then asked to check my phone, as if I stayed with my friend I would’ve rang or texted him. He then took my phone, locked himself in the bathroom and read through all my messages. He found out I cheated on him with a few guys and been sexting loads more.

He then proceeded to grab me by the throat, throw me out in my underwear and threw all my belongings over the balcony onto the road. He was so angry and flipped. I was so scared, never felt so scared in my entire life.

He texted me loads of abuse. Saying how he was going to turn up to my work etc etc.

Now he’s saying he still loves me and wants to meet up.

I don’t know if I do want meet now. I saw a side to him that I’ve never seen before. I was so scared by his reaction. And a part of my thinks he’s only asking to meet up so he can take revenge. He’s threatened to hit me.
And I don’t think I can face him. I can’t forgive myself for how much I’ve hurt him and things could never go back to how they were.

Do you guys think he over reacted or are his actions justified?
We’ve only been dating for a couple of months and I do love and care for him. Should I meet with him?



I don't think his actions are justified but that doesn't mean you're not in the wrong. He's obviously going to be pretty angry at what you've done and you know you shouldn't have done it. Although it doesn't warrant him saying he's going to turn up at your work and grabbing you by the throat - that's pretty bad.

It's probably best that you two go your separate ways.
Reply 13
Dump the pedophile.
Reply 14
What are you gays guys like?
Your relationship wont last 2 minutes if you get back together

You're scared of him
He thinks you're going to cheat again

It doesn't take a genius to work it out. Your relationship is toxic.
Reply 16
So you've been together a few months and already you have cheated on him and been sexting other guys?.I'd hardly call you faithful.

I think he is better off without you in all honesty.
You're a selfish prick with no morals and he's a genuine psychopath. Never gonna work.

/thread.
You're both seriously messed up people.
Original post by Echo*12
I did the unspeakable and cheated on my boyfriend and he found out.

I’m 20 and he’s 36 years old. And we’re gay.

I moved into his flat on Friday and we decided to have a night out. We went to a gay bar, we both got really drunk. And he thought I got too friendly with another guy. He left the bar and threatened to punch me if I followed him. So I stayed in the bar and drunkenly started kissing the other the guy I was getting friendly with, but that’s as far as it went.

I messaged and rang my partner so many times the entire night but he said he didn’t care then stopped replying. I was homeless as I was staying with him and I had nowhere to go so I met another guy and stayed with him for the remainder of the night. I had no choice.

In the morning I went back to my boyfriend’s and he finally let me in and he asked where I’d stayed and I lied and said with a friend. He then asked to check my phone, as if I stayed with my friend I would’ve rang or texted him. He then took my phone, locked himself in the bathroom and read through all my messages. He found out I cheated on him with a few guys and been sexting loads more.

He then proceeded to grab me by the throat, throw me out in my underwear and threw all my belongings over the balcony onto the road. He was so angry and flipped. I was so scared, never felt so scared in my entire life.

He texted me loads of abuse. Saying how he was going to turn up to my work etc etc.

Now he’s saying he still loves me and wants to meet up.

I don’t know if I do want meet now. I saw a side to him that I’ve never seen before. I was so scared by his reaction. And a part of my thinks he’s only asking to meet up so he can take revenge. He’s threatened to hit me.
And I don’t think I can face him. I can’t forgive myself for how much I’ve hurt him and things could never go back to how they were.

Do you guys think he over reacted or are his actions justified?
We’ve only been dating for a couple of months and I do love and care for him. Should I meet with him?


Ok yeah you cheated which obviously is really bad. But don't go back to him! If he reacted so bad that it actually scared you then you're best off finding someone else. You could find someone so much better! Just don't cheat on the next one :P


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