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Constant kissing

Anonymous

We are happy enough, your run of the mill couple type...

I may be completely wrong but to me it seems like you are bored. If after six months you see you relationship as 'run of the mill', maybe you should think about ending it - you will hurt her much more if you put it off if you know it's not going to work.

Reply 21

Glory

1

strawberry

yes that too. or at least when no one's looking

bored just cos there's no sex? what's the world coming to?

I didnt mean sex, theres more to a relationship than just sex. But there are also more thing than kissing you can do without getting nekid. I just got the feeling, they didnt hug or give back rubs to each other. I think kissing is something you do when you cant do much else. Just my general though, the OP gave me the impression they he isnt comfortable with things she do. Could he please correct me, before my presumptions get the better of me.

Reply 22

Anonymous #2

Anonymous

Ok I have been going out with my girlfriend for over 6 months now... We are happy enough, your run of the mill couple type...

Just recently though I have noticed a few things that always stick out to me....

Firstly, when ever we see each other she always feels the need to constantly try and kiss me, however whenever I shy away from this she jumps on me asking whats wrong...

Secondly, literally every time we speak on MSN, by text, on the phone or in person at the end of every conversation she feels the need to say "I love you" and she expects me to say it back, again I don't feel the need to constantly need to tell her or be told. I think that if you say it too often it becomes meaningless and almost as cliched as "How are you" sort of thing...

Basically I don't know what to do? Am I the one in the wrong? Is it just me or is it a lack of selfconfidence on her part because if we ever split up I know she would take it very badly and has already said to me it would break her heart into a million pieces... Which at the time sounded like a guilt trip :frown:

Please help me TSR on what I should do and whether I am the one who is over reacting?

Many Thanks

COMPUTER SAYS NO - Level 5 Clinger.

Run Forrest, run!

Reply 23

strawberry

13

Glory

I didnt mean sex, theres more to a relationship than just sex. But there are also more thing than kissing you can do without getting nekid. I just got the feeling, they didnt hug or give back rubs to each other. I think kissing is something you do when you cant do much else. Just my general though, the OP gave me the impression they he isnt comfortable with things she do. Could he please correct me, before my presumptions get the better of me.

ah I see.

Reply 24

Anonymous #3

Anonymous

Ok I have been going out with my girlfriend for over 6 months now... We are happy enough, your run of the mill couple type...

Just recently though I have noticed a few things that always stick out to me....

Firstly, when ever we see each other she always feels the need to constantly try and kiss me, however whenever I shy away from this she jumps on me asking whats wrong...

Secondly, literally every time we speak on MSN, by text, on the phone or in person at the end of every conversation she feels the need to say "I love you" and she expects me to say it back, again I don't feel the need to constantly need to tell her or be told. I think that if you say it too often it becomes meaningless and almost as cliched as "How are you" sort of thing...

Basically I don't know what to do? Am I the one in the wrong? Is it just me or is it a lack of selfconfidence on her part because if we ever split up I know she would take it very badly and has already said to me it would break her heart into a million pieces... Which at the time sounded like a guilt trip :frown:

Please help me TSR on what I should do and whether I am the one who is over reacting?

Many Thanks

I know two of my friends who are like this and to be honest i think its a bit immature. Even when we all go out as a group of friends they cant help but kiss each other 100% of the time. One time we went to a car show and they didnt even get out of the car and just sat their getting hold of each other instead for about an hour, personally i think its clingy, insecure and immature.

Reply 25

Talya

16

Anonymous

COMPUTER SAYS NO - Level 5 Clinger.

Run Forrest, run!

Posting Anon but using your font? :rolleyes:

Reply 26

Renza

11

Anonymous

Ok I have been going out with my girlfriend for over 6 months now... We are happy enough, your run of the mill couple type...

Just recently though I have noticed a few things that always stick out to me....

Firstly, when ever we see each other she always feels the need to constantly try and kiss me, however whenever I shy away from this she jumps on me asking whats wrong...

Secondly, literally every time we speak on MSN, by text, on the phone or in person at the end of every conversation she feels the need to say "I love you" and she expects me to say it back, again I don't feel the need to constantly need to tell her or be told. I think that if you say it too often it becomes meaningless and almost as cliched as "How are you" sort of thing...

Basically I don't know what to do? Am I the one in the wrong? Is it just me or is it a lack of selfconfidence on her part because if we ever split up I know she would take it very badly and has already said to me it would break her heart into a million pieces... Which at the time sounded like a guilt trip :frown:

Please help me TSR on what I should do and whether I am the one who is over reacting?

Many Thanks

Would it be absolutely terrible to say that you find her too intense? Tell her you care about her but her constant need to remind you how much she loves you is too much. Maybe you should tell her that love can be shown in a subtle manner in the every day gestures and actions and that she doesn't need to tell you all the time that she loves you because she can show she loves you in other ways.

God, I would be so tempted to run if I was in your situation - run to the other side of the world and stay there. I mean I love my boyfriend to pieces and he love me (still can't get over it when I say that :biggrin:

) but we don't end every conversation with an 'I love you'. I can go overboard with the kissing sometimes but respects my space.

If nothing works then I think you might have to consider 'some time apart'. I wouldn't fall for the guilt trip but don't let her do anything insane. Tell her your unhappy with the way she acts and if she really loved you then she'd consider your space and ahem...sanity.

Reply 27

Ron Stoppable

14

Talya

Posting Anon but using your font? :rolleyes:

Hell yea - I can't be quoted that way! I'd given myself a mini-break and was aiming to stay offline, so I was offering to pay people who caught "Ron Stoppable" posting in the fora - that window of opportunity has passed you fine people by now :smile:

Original Poster: Run Forrest, run still holds true. Talk to her at first, but be ready in your blocks with a "let's just be friends" soliliquy.

Reply 28

sparkler

11

Ron Stoppable

Hell yea - I can't be quoted that way! I'd given myself a mini-break and was aiming to stay offline, so I was offering to pay people who caught "Ron Stoppable" posting in the fora - that window of opportunity has passed you fine people by now :smile:

yeh, but you're 'appearing offline' right now so you might, in fact, never have been away on your mini break at all, just lurking around for the past few days....

:smile:

Reply 29

sparkler

11

and now ron stoppable isn't appearing offline anymore...

caught!

Reply 30

*Claire*

1

Anonymous

I know two of my friends who are like this and to be honest i think its a bit immature. Even when we all go out as a group of friends they cant help but kiss each other 100% of the time. One time we went to a car show and they didnt even get out of the car and just sat their getting hold of each other instead for about an hour, personally i think its clingy, insecure and immature.

My friends were like that & it was well annoying, esp when your trying to have a conversation. If you're just gonna kiss stay at home!

Saying I love you means different things to different people. Me & my ex said it lots because we were in love & wanted to say it but didn't feel it lost its meaning, other people don't want to overuse it cos it could become something you just say for the sake of it, my friend at uni who I flirt with a bit says 'I love u' to me when he doesn't, or not as anything more than friends.

If you do love her then explain you love her but don't want the phrase to be overused. neither of u are in the wrong, just different.

If you don't love her then thats trickier...

Reply 31

Ron Stoppable

14

sparkler

and now ron stoppable isn't appearing offline anymore...

caught!

Haha! Tickets and photos say otherwise, sparkler! :biggrin:

It was weird though, trying not to work on anything important, because there's the conditioning to load up the BBCi, gMail and TSR pages in the browser's background windows as soon as you see a computer. Grr. Anyway...

Excess Kissing: the Original Poster should be far, far away from his clinger by now. Are you?

Reply 32

minicoopa

1

You need to be really careful about what you say to her. My boyfriend used to be really affectionate.... and it used to annoy me. I wouldn't return the affection either....6 months later I was in a relationship where I adored him and acted just like the ex. It felt awful. Needless to say it ended. But from someone who's been on both sides (mades me sound like I am lesbian :tongue:

) it is much nicer to have someone make you feel wanted, then someone not appreciating your love for them. I should have appreciated it before but didn't. If you don't feel like returning what she says then maybe you don't feel... as much of her as she does of you?

Anyway just my view

Reply 33

Anonymous #1

OP

Glory

I dont see the problem with her wanting to constantly kiss you, surely it shows shes mad about you. You need to get over your shyness, you should know her well enough by now not to be shy around her. Also i get the feeling youve only gone as far as kissing, are you shy about going further too? If you are you need to try and overcome it, because im pretty sure most people would get bored.

Sorry for all the presumptions, i just didnt get much info from the OP.

Its not shyness my friend, more I don't feel the need too. We have an active sex life so shyness is definatly not a problem :wink:

!

Reply 34

Anonymous #1

OP

WokSz

I would say talk to her about all three of the issues - I can't stress this enough. Remember, be polite and chose your words carefully. She might just be really affectionate, and you might end up breaking her heart if you do say the wrong thing. Do you love her though?

Yes I think so :smile:

Reply 35

Anonymous #1

OP

Glory

I didnt mean sex, theres more to a relationship than just sex. But there are also more thing than kissing you can do without getting nekid. I just got the feeling, they didnt hug or give back rubs to each other. I think kissing is something you do when you cant do much else. Just my general though, the OP gave me the impression they he isnt comfortable with things she do. Could he please correct me, before my presumptions get the better of me.

You like your presumptions :biggrin:

We do regularly, but most times it is almost her latching herself onto me...

Reply 36

Glory

1

Anonymous

Its not shyness my friend, more I don't feel the need too. We have an active sex life so shyness is definatly not a problem :wink:

!

ah ok, thanks for clearing it up. Well you have 2 choices then, you either tell her to reduce the kissing and go for hugging or whatever you prefer. That way your not rejecting her just moving the affection away from you lips or you put up and not complain and try and enjoy the kissyness.

Im an advocate of talking and not suffering when your not having fun, you just need to find a compremise so she can still be extremely affectionate but not lock on your lips every waking hour.

You like your presumptions

Yeh i do, tis a bad habbit of mine. But talking always clears it up :smile:

Edit: added a second quote.

Reply 37

Anonymous #4

lmao r u going out with my ex. Is she shortish with blonde hair to about shoulder length with blue eyes.

Sorry bt it reli does sound like my relationship. N i suffered both of those problems u outlined

Suggestions: Yes she probably is insecure bt all people are insecure in some way bt she let it interefere with our relationship. Trust me this is nt ur fault. It was after being with her for around 6 months that i began to realise how much it annoyed me and how much i wanted out.

My advice to u is if it bothers u really are best off out of there. Believe me such things you cannot solve even by talking to her. Plz dont let this linger. I stayed with my ex for over another month and it was one of the most painful things n as a result and it ended really messy.

Now in hindsight i truly regret ever having entered the relationship and if i could go bak there is no way i wuld do everything i culd to stop it from happening.

Sorry 4 centering much of my post about me bt u sound like ur in my situation n i dont want ne1 to go thru what i did. If the problems bother u now they will bother u more in the future and the resent won't go away.

Reply 38

Adhsur

15

I think you are in the wrong here. I think that what she does is nothing but sweet and affectionate and if you can't deal with it maybe you don't care about her as much as she cares about you. If you actually do love each other, there is nothing wrong with saying it so much and it won't get old or clicheic simply because of how much it does mean. I feel sorry for your gf if you take her behaviour to be clingy rather than loving. You should be the one doing more by reciprocating, I don't think she should be toning it down.

The behaviour you described seems natural in any good relationship, so I don't know if you just want something unconventional.

Reply 39

haroonyousaf

Adhsur

I think you are in the wrong here. I think that what she does is nothing but sweet and affectionate and if you can't deal with it maybe you don't care about her as much as she cares about you. If you actually do love each other, there is nothing wrong with saying it so much and it won't get old or clicheic simply because of how much it does mean. I feel sorry for your gf if you take her behaviour to be clingy rather than loving. You should be the one doing more by reciprocating, I don't think she should be toning it down.

The behaviour you described seems natural in any good relationship, so I don't know if you just want something unconventional.

you cant be serious, it might sound like a great relationship to you, but not to the person who started this topic. sounds like a 14 year old girl to me, do you really think behaving like a 14 year old means your in love.

if i was in this situatuation id break up with the girl and i suggest you do the same, unless of course you really do have a lot of feelings for her, then i suggest you talk to her. But to me it just sounds like your not happy with her, if thats the case dump her. you need a girl who can keep YOU happy. just be selfish that way when you'll find a girl whos perfect for you.
your girlfriend needs to grow-up.

Constant kissing

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