It saddens me greatly to think that a) white women have a problem with asian men and b) that asian men have a problem with themselves. It's of little help, but all I can offer is this: never, ever let a woman dictate your value. If at all possible just **** the whole dating game off for awhile if it's just causing pain. I think the whole 'dating game' in and of itself is a ghastly, awful process designed to whittle down the individualism of a person until they're just this pre-programmable husk that laughs on cue and talks **** about their 'wild, crazy night I had last night, man. epic' and has 'major bantz' with his mates. I really did despair for social isolation in the majority of social encounters with lads at uni... I was taken from the comfort of *real* friendships forged over years with intimate familiarity and understanding and thrown into an awkward roundtable of unknowns, each of them more socially engineered than the last. When they weren't putting on the ****test radio 1 playlist music - the kind you always wonder from where its audience hails - and making the shi*ttest Tesco value cocktails in order to play the ****testt of drinking 'games' to gee us up for 'a proper night out', they were actively disguising their interests in the presences of girls in some of the most awful displays of evident self-conciousness bordering on the self-loathing that at first I was bewildered, then I felt sorry for them.
It felt relevant as one of them was a Chinese guy (well, Chinese parents and born abroad but lived here all his life and has a very thick northern accent) and he never seemed to have much luck with women, but what I noticed was him and the others trying to play a fool's game, trying to measure up to shallow ideals that weren't things you should aspire to anyway but importantly wasn't something they *could* actually aspire to, realistically. It just destroyed their sense of self-worth and manhood. I found the whole thing, as I said, to be grim and had quarantined myself away from it all. The thought of chatting up a girl was so stomach-wrenchingly nauseating that I never for a minute even entertained the possibility, and I never really felt a loss for it. In fact, I count count myself as one of the happiest because of it. I also wasn't gonna cover up my inherent nerdiness, my propensity for intellectual debate, my disdain for most things popular culture, my steadfast loathing of today's **** (and thust most popular) TV and music and my stubborn loyalty to match of the day even if we're pre-drinking and about to go out (as if they're preclusions to having the tele on). Well, all of those things were apparently offputting in their eyes to the womenfolk. I wasn't gonna hide my love of Xbox or start pretending to like X Factor for anyone. And I was the one in the long-term relationship, which just shows you which works best.
So, remove yourself entirely from the sphere of typical dating whether it be talking to women in bars or hoping to make a 'connection' through dating sites or any of that ****, just leave it out. It won't be the real you and it won't make oyu happy. Just learn to be alone and be happy being alone; surround yourself with good friends and never neglect your family. Then just find hobbies that engage your mind, and develop what you genuinely are passionate about. It sounds like an agony aunt column but if the ordinary white girl's prejudice is a barrier, **** her. Don't try and un-Asian yourself, and that brings me onto the second point, having a problem with yourself.
I love asian culture and I am fascinated by the history and peoples of China, Korea, Japan. The histories and cultures of that region (Vietnam, Mongolia) are varied and utterly fascinating. China is the oldest civilisation on Earth, who have culturally always paid heed to the lessons of history, the important of the past, the unsurpassed value and power of knowledge and learning. I know he's quoted as a really lazy, ****ty stereotypical impression but Confuscius a name known worldwide today for his wisdom was writing well over 2500 years ago. The dynasties that followed were really quite marvellous in their devotion education: it was perfectly common for education to be received by thousands of ordinary citizens, something completely unheard of in this country 200 years ago never mind 2,000. This is a country that built the only man-made construction visible from space by hand, invented paper, printing, the compass, gunpowder amongst many others. Though crippled by politic in modern times the Chinese contributions throughout history have been profound. I actually find it really infuriating that Asian men are not more prideful of their Asianness first and foremost, and that worst of all it is trying to confirm to white expectations that causes it. Why would you aspire to a culture that is quite simply inferior both in richness and merit? I think there are enough intelligent girls of all races to appreciate what celebrates your differences not what informs your similarities.