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do you think that family is overrated?

Maybe not your family but sometimes my family. My family support me financially and do so much for me but in a way that's all they do for me. They always put me down and kind of control me. My mum is the worse as a person she is obviously a depressive which manifests itself as being a whinger and constantly moaning and complaining and being in a bad mood; which I find incredibly selfish and irritating. Also the way she speaks to me is constantly nasty and unpleasant. If I had a good job and lived away from them there would be no reason for me to bother with them. I'll probably stay in contact with them when I'm older but as I become more independent from them I kind of wonder why I am so loyal to them.
I kind of have the same issue with a few of my family members. Last year I was mugged and ever since then one of my older sisters often makes snide remarks and jokes about it. Earlier this year we were having a family meal at a pub and the same sister called me a slag because I was showing some cleavage (at the time I'd only had one sexual partner who was my ex, so far from most people's idea of a "slag") I retaliated and they ganged up on me. My aunty had earlier had an argument with her husband and decided to take it out on me. I went to the empty games room of the pub to calm down and she followed me. She then proceeded to call me all sorts, rag me around the room by my hair and punched me (making sure it wasnt anywhere where the bruises would be visible). She stopped when the landlord walked in. She claimed she'd gone in to comfort me and I'd gone wild and attacked her, she also claimed that I ran outside the pub and tried to throw myself into the nearby river (later changing it to under a car). As I have a history of depression and used to self harm as a teenager they believed her. However I've been told by some people as they're family it's more acceptable. If my friends or boyfriend had done the same people would think it was awful and I'd be advised to ditch them, I dont know why it should be any difference just because we share a few genes.
I get fed up when people say they're family you have to like them/love them. I have an awful family situation and I absolutely detests my biological father and yet people insist i still have to love him and that I'll 'come around' and I'm like no way. I can honestly understand how you feel, we shouldn't feel the need to stay with family just because they;re blood.
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Avatar for Ruffiio
Ruffiio
17
When I left for university I was worried since my mum spoon fed me admittedly throughout my life up to the age of 18. Now when I actually got to university I settled in really quickly, everything is really easy. I'm not a big family person, and my mum ever since going to university constantly sends me messages asking what i'm doing, how am I everyday and it really annoys me. I like my new found independence away from my parents and i don't feel like i even need them anymore. Christmas is coming up and I don't give a **** about the holidays or any holiday for that matter including my own birthday, everyone usually goes home for Christmas, even if their not excited for it, just to be with their parents at least and to be honest i don't even want to go home for Christmas. I only live about 45 minutes away too so i don't really know what to do.
You don't have to like you family. If you have an issue with them, move out as soon as you can and only contact them when you feel it is appropriate. Just know that your family will wind up thinking the same of you that you do of them - a lot of people prioritise family, so when one of their own moves away and cuts of contact, they blame that one for tearing apart the family. To answer your question though, I would never claim that "family is overrated". I love my family despite the bad things that happen, and while I would change some things about how situations are dealt with (by myself and my family), I would never change who is in my family. I also want to start a family of my own, and if you think that family is overrated, I would urge you not to get married and have children; you'll just wind up resenting them.
I think i know who the OP is :tongue:

You only get one family and the likelihood is that family will stay whereas friends will come and go but i don't think it's overrated. Some are lucky to have good families whereras some are not.
Depends on the family. Some families are great. Others not so much.

At the end of the day, I accept my parents for who they are. I understand that are looking out for me even though they don't generally know what they are talking about.

However, I have a close relationship with my brother. We don't talk that often but I don't think we need to. If we need to pick up the phone then we always can.
(edited 10 years ago)
Original post by FlavaFavourFruit
Some are lucky to have good families whereras some are not.


Exactly, it's a complete lottery. I know people who are best friends with their brother/sister whereas I haven't spoken to mine in years and couldn't tell you a single thing about them.

My extended family are lovely but it's hard when half of them live the other side of the world.
I know what you mean I don't really get on with my family, I appreciate my parents have supported me financially helped me develop some life skills but I reckon that was also kind of their duty as parents anyway. I don't like the fact they try & force their religion on me though & don't like when they start getting aggressive & think try to put me down. I usually am much happier & get on much better with other people. If I had enough money to move out I would in a flash, wouldn't really like to stay in contact but would probably give them a bit of a pay off.

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