Has anyone here ever had mental 'blackouts' or memory problems?

Hello

Has anyone here ever had mental blackouts before? ie small gaps in memory?

Or feeling of being on autopilot all the time, ie not in complete control of your own body?

Reply 1

Tiger Rag

Yes I have had this.

I had severe depression in 2010 and have a gap of about 2 days where I could only remember a few things - going to uni, coming home and sleeping (was up the previous night) and going to uni the next day. According to my friend, I wouldn't leave him alone. I really don't remember that part or anything else at all.

Reply 2

whatisthis47

In all the times I was sexually assaulted and raped, yeah.

I suffer borderline personality disorder and earlier this year I went through a pretty huge breakdown of which I only remember the worst -- the few memories I have of February to June/Julyish of this year are the bad memories. Nothing more. It scares me, but it's life -- I just get on with it.

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

I can't really remember any of the time in which I had untreated severe depression... and when I was on pills after that I had the autopilot feeling, but while in a state of normal mental health I might occasionally go through dissociative phases, but they are few and far between. I never get blackouts.

Reply 4

bloomblaze

Original post by OU Student

Interesting. Sounds scary.

Anyone else have experience of blackouts?

Reply 5

Jay84

Not a blackout as such but during a depressive episode I remember being in the city centre at about 9-10pm and then the next thing I knew, I woke up in a park a few miles away with no memory of getting from one to the other. My coat had either been lost or stolen too which was a bit unusual since it wasn't really worth anything and I was dirty and dishevelled at the time. Maybe I just took it off at some point and left it somewhere.

I can only guess that I must have wandered to the park and gone to sleep under the trees. Maybe I was walking aimlessly and recognised the tree cover as an area of safety or something.

It was a while ago but it still bothers me now a little just because it is the only experience I have of absolutely no memory for a period of time - even when I have been blind drunk, I have always had a vague memory even if it is a bit hazy.

Reply 6

Pastaferian

About 5 years ago, there was a period when I blacked out several times. But these were fainting spells, not memory lapses, so I'm not sure it's what you're asking about. I had 5-6 blackouts, then they stopped and I haven't had one since. I don't have an explanation for them.

Reply 7

bloomblaze

Original post by Jay84

did you go to a doctor re this?

If so, what did he/she say?

Reply 8

User990473

I once played rugby and was knocked out on the pitch but for a short enough time that nobody noticed then I got up and played, went home and then woke up on the pitch I had played on again and I had no memory of the game or anything after it.

It was really, pretty scary. I went to the doctor with my mum and I can't remember exactly what had happened but I definitely had a concussion :smile:

The whole time between me waking up and feeling better I was... lost? I could take in everything but had no idea what was going on and couldn't think like I usually would :dontknow:

(edited 10 years ago)

Reply 9

Dp12081994

I went through a huge ordeal almost a year ago, it was totally undeserved and to a point I still feel sorry for the pain I went through, it lasted over a year all together and all though I didn't realise I was depressed I really was, my memory of that year is unbelievably sketchy I barely remember my birthday, the strangest thing was that certain events I actually remember but they've been on my mind that much (thinking of different outcomes/what I could have done etc) that I'm now so confused and I doubt my own memory of them

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Reply 10

Jay84

Original post by bloomblaze

did you go to a doctor re this?

If so, what did he/she say?

When I woke up, I was a bit confused and disorientated. Ended up getting picked up by police and was taken to hospital but by the time that was happening I was coming too and was able to discharge myself fairly quickly.

At the time I was homeless and the police/hospital most likely presumed I had taken something (unlikely since I had been on my own and had no money) I jumped in a taxi to an old neighbours house and he and his wife paid for the cab and put me up for a couple of nights till I was back on my feet.

(edited 10 years ago)

Reply 11

nasimaahmed

Yes, I had depression in year 10 and have lost a large amount of what happened during that time. My mum was the only person who I used to talk to about how I felt and she sometimes brings up something that happened and I often don't remember it.

As for being on auto pilot? It's something I seem to go through all the time, I don't know whether I do it consciously or unconsciously but when I am down or unsure about what I am doing, I seem to detach myself from my emotions and do it without feeling anything. This gives me time to gather myself but it does feel like I lose a lot of time, which during exam time can be stressful.

Reply 12

username504651

I'm currently doing everything on auto pilot and I have gaps in my memory from the summer of year eleven when my anxiety and depression were pretty bad. I'm really struggling atm and I can feel myself slipping back into that, which is always fun :smile: