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Is it creepy to get her a Christmas present

Hey

Basically, I was talking to this girl for a couple of weeks. I gave the impression that I liked her and I invited her on a ate. She said it was all to much to soon and that it takes her a long time to develop feelings for somebody. We didn't speak for a few days, but now, we've caught up and we've decided to be friends. Though when I asked her if there could ever be potential between us, she said that she wasn't entirely sure, as feelings take her a while. So basically, it's not out of the question, but I'll either be waiting a while, or indefinitely.

Christmas is coming up and I still have some shopping left to do. Do you think it would be acceptable to buy her a book I know she wants after everything that's happened. Or will it creep her out and make me seem clingy?

Reply 1

Chewyy

Original post by JayPlays

Hey

She said it was all to much to soon and that it takes her a long time to develop feelings for somebody

when I asked her if there could ever be potential between us, she said that she wasn't entirely sure, as feelings take her a while.

That's why I think you shouldn't. Invite her out for coffee or something but don't get her anything.

Reply 2

Drawbridge_Drew

If you're not sure, I think it would be best just to ask her if you can get her anything.

Reply 3

chickenonsteroids

Just give her a card if you want.

You can get me a present. I won't think that's creepy.

Reply 4

Zarek

An appropriate modest gift might, I suppose, further your case and can't really do any harm. I must say however that my experience when a girl is lukewarm is not encouraging. Mostly you are better to move on and seek someone who shows a bit of enthusiasm.

Reply 5

Jaegon Targaryen

Its not creepy but why waste the money lol . She obviously isn't gonna get you anything.

Reply 6

MissDavies

If you do then just get a token gift like a box of chocolates or something, spending too much money on a present for her could make it awkward.

Reply 7

thatrollingstone

Sorry to be the bearer of negative perceptions dude, but it sounds like she is letting you off gently. I am afraid you may have already entered the friendzone.

Just do it!

Original post by MissDavies

If you do then just get a token gift like a box of chocolates or something, spending too much money on a present for her could make it awkward.

Chocolates are a bit dull. I would go for a book of delightful poetry..

Reply 10

lovelucym

Bottom line: Get her the book.

Even if she isn't ready right now, what girl wouldn't be flattered by a gift? Especially with a book she's been wanting? Not only does it imply that you're thinking about her, but it shows that you're attentive and caring. I think it's a wonderful idea!

Don't make a big deal out of it yourself and it won't turn into a big deal!

Take a leap of faith and stay strong!

Love,

Lucym

Reply 11

JayPlays

Original post by thatrollingstone

Sorry to be the bearer of negative perceptions dude, but it sounds like she is letting you off gently. I am afraid you may have already entered the friendzone.

She did say it takes ages for her to develop feelings. I knid of get the impression that's she's a girl who would rather start something with somebody that she's been friends with (and yes, those girls do exist) :P

Reply 12

VDW

Original post by JayPlays

you're deluding yourself. You'd know if she really liked you (boobs out on Skype and all that malarkey).

Come on lad, focus on girls that want ur big black titanic instead of ur friendship.

(edited 10 years ago)

Reply 13

xoxAngel_Kxox

She doesn't sound all that interested, to be honest with you, and if she struggles to develop feelings quickly then you'd probably be better off leaving it - a present so soon might just scare her away.

Reply 14

abc101

She's friend zoned you twice already, mate. Sorry.

Reply 15

Studentus-anonymous

She's not interested in you OP but isn't confident enough to straight up shoot you down in flames.

Reply 16

Lotus_Eater

Original post by VDW

you're deluding yourself. You'd know if she really liked you (boobs out on Skype and all that malarkey).

Come on lad, focus on girls that want ur big black titanic instead of ur friendship.

This is offensive on about sixteen levels. And yet this is basically right isn't it?!

I think she tried to let you down gently. Here is an opportunity to depart from this particular field with grace and dignity. Buying a present just risks getting yourself into a right old mess just before Christmas.

I tend to see dating as the process by which you allow your feelings to develop. Even if she's on the level, how many thousands of dates would you have to put in to even get to second base? For someone like her, a present would likely be seen as a big gesture and if that makes her re-assert her ambivalence towards you then what a waste of everyone's time, not to mention a guarantee that the friendship thing is off the table.