Girlfriend gets depressed at TOTM, don't know what to do :(

Hi, usually my lady is quite sociable and upbeat, when she's nearing that time she becomes quite a different person. She's down, tired, withdrawn, won't talk much, loses her appetite, gets irritable, and sometimes doesn't want to see anyone.

Is this normal and how can I help her? I get concerned because sometimes it's quite tense and I think she's going to dump me/is bored of me

Reply 1

Anonymous #1

OP

I sound like a tit there-I also get concerned because I don't like seeing her unhappy, but that goes without saying.

Reply 2

mjj22

12

Girls deal with it differently, its just how her hormones deal with it? If u talk to her about it, she may begin to realise. Sone girls dont realise how they act.

Reply 3

TheWinterSeason

Sounds about right.

If shes anything like me, all she wants is comfort, so give her a hug out of the blue and tell her you love her. Also chocolates help! :smile:

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by TheWinterSeason

Sounds about right.

If shes anything like me, all she wants is comfort, so give her a hug out of the blue and tell her you love her. Also chocolates help! :smile:

Is it normal for symptoms to be severe for most girls?
I didn't know whether she had PMDD. Honestly all she wanted to do was go to bed, I even invited her around to mine to just chill (and I I've 5 minutes away)-that was too much for her.
She was on such a downer it was sad :/

I used to give her chocolates but she told me not to because she 'eats too much' during it which makes her feel worse…but she said that when off the period, so she could have just been trying to be nice.
Just didn't know how to help. I gave her a cuddle, yeah :smile:

Reply 5

xoxAngel_Kxox

21

Hi

.

Unfortunately, no two girls will react to the hormonal changes of the TOTM the same, so it's hard to know what to expect. For me, the week before is the worst (PMT) and I often find myself questioning my entire life, as weird as that sounds. I will have a go at my partner, and I know I'm being horrible and unfair as I hear myself saying it, but I just can't stop.

And then when that week is over and my hormones calm down a little bit, TOTM actually arrives and all of the physical symptoms alongside it which make me pretty miserable.

I find that there are things that can help, though. Exercise helps, eating plenty of fruit and veg helps, and taking a multivitamin helps. Not completely, but it helps.

Also if it is really severe, her doctor may be able to help, so suggest this to her (but when she's in a good mood ha ha).

I know I'm horrible, and it's bad being out of control, but I've explained to my partner and he knows to just let me get on with it and it will normally only last for one or two days.

EDIT: Also, when we first got together, my partner would try and cheer me up by cuddling me, telling me he loves me, basically fussing over me - and I found it seriously infuriating. Fine any other time, but not then. So when it isn't TOTM, talk to her about how she'd like you to deal with it. I told my partner to just let me get on with it and I'll get over it soon enough.

(edited 10 years ago)

Reply 6

Dragonfly07

18

I don't think it's normal for most girls to have symptoms that severe. I personally never had mood swings during my periods but I had other pains/discomforts in other ways.

From what I know though, if she's ever moody the one thing that could help her is comfort, so just act extra nice in those periods.

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by xoxAngel_Kxox

Hi

.

Unfortunately, no two girls will react to the hormonal changes of the TOTM the same, so it's hard to know what to expect. For me, the week before is the worst (PMT) and I often find myself questioning my entire life, as weird as that sounds. I will have a go at my partner, and I know I'm being horrible and unfair as I hear myself saying it, but I just can't stop.

And then when that week is over and my hormones calm down a little bit, TOTM actually arrives and all of the physical symptoms alongside it which make me pretty miserable.

I find that there are things that can help, though. Exercise helps, eating plenty of fruit and veg helps, and taking a multivitamin helps. Not completely, but it helps.

Also if it is really severe, her doctor may be able to help, so suggest this to her (but when she's in a good mood ha ha).

I know I'm horrible, and it's bad being out of control, but I've explained to my partner and he knows to just let me get on with it and it will normally only last for one or two days.

EDIT: Also, when we first got together, my partner would try and cheer me up by cuddling me, telling me he loves me, basically fussing over me - and I found it seriously infuriating. Fine any other time, but not then. So when it isn't TOTM, talk to her about how she'd like you to deal with it. I told my partner to just let me get on with it and I'll get over it soon enough.

Thanks for the advice :smile:

she's quite like you in that respect, if you don't mind me saying.
When you told your partner to 'just let me get on with it', did you mean to ignore the symptoms, ignore you (not see you/even contact you to check how you are until they're over) or to be there but not go too mushy/mollycoddling?
I suspect she's embarrassed by this because her culture practically indoctrinates her into a housewife/arranged marriage role, and she's vehemently against this so gone for being the strong independent woman etc. which I respect, but I wouldn't like her to suffer in silence.

Reply 8

xoxAngel_Kxox

21

Original post by Anonymous

Thanks for the advice :smile:

she's quite like you in that respect, if you don't mind me saying.
When you told your partner to 'just let me get on with it', did you mean to ignore the symptoms, ignore you (not see you/even contact you to check how you are until they're over) or to be there but not go too mushy/mollycoddling?
I suspect she's embarrassed by this because her culture practically indoctrinates her into a housewife/arranged marriage role, and she's vehemently against this so gone for being the strong independent woman etc. which I respect, but I wouldn't like her to suffer in silence.

Well we live together so he can't ignore me completely. But usually, when I'm in a good mood, he'll try and cuddle up while we're watching TV, or play with my hair or something. When I'm in a bad mood I can't handle him even touching me (although I'm not this bad EVERY month actually, I'd love to know why then maybe I could get rid of it completely) so we'll just sit in companionable (read: he's terrified to speak ha ha) silence. Or he'll go on the xbox or on his laptop. He leaves it to me to make the first move around that time when it comes to cuddling or anything bedroom wise, and knows that if I don't start anything I'm not in the mood. Luckily there's literally only 2 days a month where it's this bad, and even that's not every month - I know some girls who have 2 out of every 4 weeks taken up by it.

Yeah I get what you mean about her wanting to be strong. It is annoying to feel so out of control. But honestly, just talk to her about it. I know it's difficult as men don't like things like periods (not that we do of course lol) but if you know exactly where you stand it will be a lot easier :smile:

.

(edited 10 years ago)

Girlfriend gets depressed at TOTM, don't know what to do :(

Quick Reply

Related discussions

Latest

Trending

Trending

Articles for you