Concerning 'good in bed' threads
Sex has always been one of the most popular topics on TSR, but recently I've been wondering why some people are getting so hung up on if their significant other is good/bad in bed?
To those of you who've had your first kiss, I suppose the majority found it a little clumsy, perhaps a bit too much tongue and not the Hollywood moment that was expected. As a virgin I could be naive, but couldn't that apply to the bedroom too? I guess what I'm trying to say is couples should enjoy the intimacy of sex, acknowledging that with communication (the key to every successful relationship), and as they get to know each other and their bodies more, that all this 'good in bed' stuff will come (if you pardon the pun) with time and patience.
To those of you who've had your first kiss, I suppose the majority found it a little clumsy, perhaps a bit too much tongue and not the Hollywood moment that was expected. As a virgin I could be naive, but couldn't that apply to the bedroom too? I guess what I'm trying to say is couples should enjoy the intimacy of sex, acknowledging that with communication (the key to every successful relationship), and as they get to know each other and their bodies more, that all this 'good in bed' stuff will come (if you pardon the pun) with time and patience.
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Original post by Foo.mp3
My kisses were as a dream from day one, and sex is even easier to get the hang of, sorry! 
However, you make some good points ~ people should learn to relax and be more accommodating, or else be perhaps a little more pragmatic/proactive
However, you make some good points ~ people should learn to relax and be more accommodating, or else be perhaps a little more pragmatic/proactive
Haha that's a refreshing side to here - most of the people I have spoken to consider their first kiss to be a bit of a mess! :P I guess like I said I've not had sex so this is all guesswork. Yep I agree
Original post by Alice_95
Sex has always been one of the most popular topics on TSR, but recently I've been wondering why some people are getting so hung up on if their significant other is good/bad in bed?
To those of you who've had your first kiss, I suppose the majority found it a little clumsy, perhaps a bit too much tongue and not the Hollywood moment that was expected. As a virgin I could be naive, but couldn't that apply to the bedroom too? I guess what I'm trying to say is couples should enjoy the intimacy of sex, acknowledging that with communication (the key to every successful relationship), and as they get to know each other and their bodies more, that all this 'good in bed' stuff will come (if you pardon the pun) with time and patience.
To those of you who've had your first kiss, I suppose the majority found it a little clumsy, perhaps a bit too much tongue and not the Hollywood moment that was expected. As a virgin I could be naive, but couldn't that apply to the bedroom too? I guess what I'm trying to say is couples should enjoy the intimacy of sex, acknowledging that with communication (the key to every successful relationship), and as they get to know each other and their bodies more, that all this 'good in bed' stuff will come (if you pardon the pun) with time and patience.
That may be the biggest understametent ever.
Agree with the rest of it though, nobody's that good their first time.
Original post by alow
That may be the biggest understametent ever.
Haha perhaps
I guess sex plays a huge role in relationships. I've heard people say that if you're going to be with someone in the long-term, your sex needs to be 'good', otherwise it'll just cause disappointment within the relationship, and you'll want to get out. I don't know why but I guess most people think sex is more about the pleasure than the intimacy. Imo, it depends. If it's a non-platonic relationship, then the sex should be good cause it's all about fun/pleasure, however if you're in love with someone, screw the sex; it'll just get better as time progresses.
I concur. But if the guy continues to be 'bad' in bed then dumping him sounds reasonable.
Yes, you're right. It takes most people some time to be good in bed and a lot more experience to then be great in bed. My first girlfriend knew I was a virgin and was very understanding about the fact that things wouldn't be amazing initially. It was probably thanks to her attitude that I had the confidence and security to get good.
There's a lot of big talk on TSR but in reality I think most people are understanding about their partners and realistic about what to expect. Besides which, people don't tend to know what really amazing sex is until they're a bit older anyway.
There's a lot of big talk on TSR but in reality I think most people are understanding about their partners and realistic about what to expect. Besides which, people don't tend to know what really amazing sex is until they're a bit older anyway.
What condones "good in bed"?
Surely its the equivalent of kissing. i.e. someone may find that person terrible in bed whilst another may think that that person is gods gift to the bedroom.
Isn't worth worrying about in my opinion.
Also if you dump your other half because they weren't that good in bed you're a bellend, show/tell them what you like. Not ****ing hard. People want a boyfriend/girlfriend thats insantly perfect which is impossible. Some guys/girls like being strangled or can only reach orgasm with something up their. Worrying about overthinking "oh god what if im terrible in bed" is pointless. **** "what ifs" just talk to your other half about it and your sex life will rocket upwards.
Recently I had sex with an older girl. She was 35 and I'm 23. Most of the girls I've been with that are around my age want it rough style so I went with that for the older woman. She stopped me halfway through, said she didn't like it like that and wanted it slow. Switched to that, not gonna spill my guts but best ****ing sex I've ever had and she was squirming within minutes when it all switched up.
Sex isn't "instantly amazing" unless your very lucky. Stop thinking it is.
Surely its the equivalent of kissing. i.e. someone may find that person terrible in bed whilst another may think that that person is gods gift to the bedroom.
Isn't worth worrying about in my opinion.
Also if you dump your other half because they weren't that good in bed you're a bellend, show/tell them what you like. Not ****ing hard. People want a boyfriend/girlfriend thats insantly perfect which is impossible. Some guys/girls like being strangled or can only reach orgasm with something up their. Worrying about overthinking "oh god what if im terrible in bed" is pointless. **** "what ifs" just talk to your other half about it and your sex life will rocket upwards.
Recently I had sex with an older girl. She was 35 and I'm 23. Most of the girls I've been with that are around my age want it rough style so I went with that for the older woman. She stopped me halfway through, said she didn't like it like that and wanted it slow. Switched to that, not gonna spill my guts but best ****ing sex I've ever had and she was squirming within minutes when it all switched up.
Sex isn't "instantly amazing" unless your very lucky. Stop thinking it is.
Original post by Lotus_Eater
Yes, you're right. It takes most people some time to be good in bed and a lot more experience to then be great in bed. My first girlfriend knew I was a virgin and was very understanding about the fact that things wouldn't be amazing initially. It was probably thanks to her attitude that I had the confidence and security to get good.
There's a lot of big talk on TSR but in reality I think most people are understanding about their partners and realistic about what to expect. Besides which, people don't tend to know what really amazing sex is until they're a bit older anyway.
There's a lot of big talk on TSR but in reality I think most people are understanding about their partners and realistic about what to expect. Besides which, people don't tend to know what really amazing sex is until they're a bit older anyway.
It's great that she had that attitude, I think. Yeah I suppose they are - especially as you don't know whether to believe what's put on TSR half the time! Ah ok.
Original post by Alice_95
Sex has always been one of the most popular topics on TSR, but recently I've been wondering why some people are getting so hung up on if their significant other is good/bad in bed?
To those of you who've had your first kiss, I suppose the majority found it a little clumsy, perhaps a bit too much tongue and not the Hollywood moment that was expected. As a virgin I could be naive, but couldn't that apply to the bedroom too? I guess what I'm trying to say is couples should enjoy the intimacy of sex, acknowledging that with communication (the key to every successful relationship), and as they get to know each other and their bodies more, that all this 'good in bed' stuff will come (if you pardon the pun) with time and patience.
To those of you who've had your first kiss, I suppose the majority found it a little clumsy, perhaps a bit too much tongue and not the Hollywood moment that was expected. As a virgin I could be naive, but couldn't that apply to the bedroom too? I guess what I'm trying to say is couples should enjoy the intimacy of sex, acknowledging that with communication (the key to every successful relationship), and as they get to know each other and their bodies more, that all this 'good in bed' stuff will come (if you pardon the pun) with time and patience.
I find the 'getting to know each other's bodies' concept so cringey
Can you imagine: "Here is my belly button, say hello, here are my boobs, say hello, here's my waist, say hello, here's my willy, say hello, here's my thighs, say hello 
" Cringe cringe cringe!!But anyway, I don't understand how someone can be bad in bed, it's hardly rocket science
Original post by Maid Marian
I find the 'getting to know each other's bodies' concept so cringey Can you imagine: "Here is my belly button, say hello, here are my boobs, say hello, here's my waist, say hello, here's my willy, say hello, here's my thighs, say hello " Cringe cringe cringe!!
But anyway, I don't understand how someone can be bad in bed, it's hardly rocket science
Can you imagine: "Here is my belly button, say hello, here are my boobs, say hello, here's my waist, say hello, here's my willy, say hello, here's my thighs, say hello " Cringe cringe cringe!!But anyway, I don't understand how someone can be bad in bed, it's hardly rocket science
Haha that would be so awkward - I guess what I mean is exploring what you both like etc. Hmm I just don't know, it seems to be a common idea though.
Yeah, my girlfriend and I took aaages to get the hang of it (sex and kissing - the kissing was mainly my fault - the sex was down to inexperience from us both...) Nowadays we are in an LDR so it has been a little while but the sex is really good for us both - it feels very intimate, and just kind of "right". I understand that it probably wouldn't be top of the list of hot, hardcore sex, but we both certainly enjoy it and it definitely brings us closer.
So, long story short, yes, it takes quite a while (and lots of communication - you need to be open to the fact that you might actually be doing something wrong...). The OP is definitely correct
So, long story short, yes, it takes quite a while (and lots of communication - you need to be open to the fact that you might actually be doing something wrong...). The OP is definitely correct
Original post by Foo.mp3
Methinks that's the case for a lot of people aye ~ girls (in their heads) and boys (in actuality). However, as I literally just explained to a French chick:
"I did it very well from the start, by virtue of being intuitive, responsive (girls often talk about how amazing it is to meet a guy who can kiss delicately, sensually, with depth and with passion), and astute enough to pick up on the signs while you kiss a girl as to what is most pleasing"
You poor dear
I'd offer to instruct thee but frankly that would be inappropriate..
"I did it very well from the start, by virtue of being intuitive, responsive (girls often talk about how amazing it is to meet a guy who can kiss delicately, sensually, with depth and with passion), and astute enough to pick up on the signs while you kiss a girl as to what is most pleasing"
You poor dear
I'd offer to instruct thee but frankly that would be inappropriate..Spoiler
Ah yes I can see how you were successful in your kissing endeavours :P Haha don't bring my dearest twin into this
The only thing I'd say is that if you can't talk to your partner about what you want/like in the bedroom then you shouldn't be having sex with them.
Although you're right in that it gets better.
Although you're right in that it gets better.
Its like anything in a relationship, the only difference is it is something that is quite hidden.
I would be just as concerned over entering a relationship with a woman who was a drunk, a party animal, a polygamist, a criminal, an idiot or a billionaire. Sex is no bigger than say sense of humour in a relationship. but I can guage somebodies personality, sense of humour, intellect, political views etc by talking to them. Sex is the great unknown, in that I wont know if they are good, bad, indifferent or like to involve curling irons and underwater cameras, until we have sex.
I would expect anybody to be equally concerned about dating somebody who they had never spoken to, seen etc.
Sex is fundamental to a relationship, as it is the one diffinative thing that you share soley with your partner. You can bang on about emoitional connection and companionship, but I love my mum just as much as my girlfriend, and can in theory find as much comfort from friends as from a girlfriend. Sex is the biological factor that drives us to search for a mate, so it is a fundamental component of the package.
Of course, people can get better, and good is a vague term. Im sure most girls would be ok with a guy who wasn't mind blowing, but was attentive and tried. It may be this definition of 'good' that people use implicitly - good as in represents what I want a couples sex life to be like, rather than talking explicitly about the physical feeling alone.
I would be just as concerned over entering a relationship with a woman who was a drunk, a party animal, a polygamist, a criminal, an idiot or a billionaire. Sex is no bigger than say sense of humour in a relationship. but I can guage somebodies personality, sense of humour, intellect, political views etc by talking to them. Sex is the great unknown, in that I wont know if they are good, bad, indifferent or like to involve curling irons and underwater cameras, until we have sex.
I would expect anybody to be equally concerned about dating somebody who they had never spoken to, seen etc.
Sex is fundamental to a relationship, as it is the one diffinative thing that you share soley with your partner. You can bang on about emoitional connection and companionship, but I love my mum just as much as my girlfriend, and can in theory find as much comfort from friends as from a girlfriend. Sex is the biological factor that drives us to search for a mate, so it is a fundamental component of the package.
Of course, people can get better, and good is a vague term. Im sure most girls would be ok with a guy who wasn't mind blowing, but was attentive and tried. It may be this definition of 'good' that people use implicitly - good as in represents what I want a couples sex life to be like, rather than talking explicitly about the physical feeling alone.
Original post by Foo.mp3
Jolly good 
Half of everything where women are concerned is 'imagination'. If you can demonstrate, never mind stimulate, that, then they will melt like butter in your hands
Now you're giving me ideas.. I suppose 'bringing her into it' could solve that moral conundrum, should ask her if she wants to get involved
(sorry)
Half of everything where women are concerned is 'imagination'. If you can demonstrate, never mind stimulate, that, then they will melt like butter in your hands
Now you're giving me ideas.. I suppose 'bringing her into it' could solve that moral conundrum, should ask her if she wants to get involved
(sorry)Aha you have your master plan then
Haha no way Jose!Definitely, which is why sex in a relationship is so much better than a one night stand.
Not sure if serious.
Original post by Maid Marian
But anyway, I don't understand how someone can be bad in bed
Not sure if serious.
Original post by maskofsanity
Definitely, which is why sex in a relationship is so much better than a one night stand.
Not sure if serious.
Not sure if serious.
I'm very serious, all you do it stick your willy in and then pull it out!
Original post by Maid Marian
I'm very serious, all you do it stick your willy in and then pull it out!
Well, no, there's a little more to it than that. Foreplay, duration, mood, positions... there's a pretty huge difference between good and bad sex.
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