Rejected by a friend again!
'Hey I really love hanging out but I really don't want to risk our friendship as I'm not friends with anyone I've seen at uni, and it would be a shame if that happened with you as well'
Completely respect her decision but this leaves us both in a tricky situation. I'm the sort of person who needs to be friends with a girl first before I can progress to a relationship, but each time I get shot down in the end. She's such a nice girl but I've been in this situation before and found it very difficult to maintain a platonic friendship.
I don't think I could cope with the idea of her going out with some other guy due to jealousy and if we stay friends, it will never be enough. Equally I don't want to be seen as the jerk who cuts her off just cos I've been rejected, even though it may be in my best interests to do so. We are on the same course at uni so I'm going to see her a lot until June.
What would you do in my situation?
Completely respect her decision but this leaves us both in a tricky situation. I'm the sort of person who needs to be friends with a girl first before I can progress to a relationship, but each time I get shot down in the end. She's such a nice girl but I've been in this situation before and found it very difficult to maintain a platonic friendship.
I don't think I could cope with the idea of her going out with some other guy due to jealousy and if we stay friends, it will never be enough. Equally I don't want to be seen as the jerk who cuts her off just cos I've been rejected, even though it may be in my best interests to do so. We are on the same course at uni so I'm going to see her a lot until June.
What would you do in my situation?
Just try to distance yourself from her and let time heal your feelings towards her.
Original post by Anonymous
I'm the sort of person who needs to be friends with a girl first before I can progress to a relationship, but each time I get shot down in the end. She's such a nice girl but I've been in this situation before and found it very difficult to maintain a platonic friendship.
I don't think I could cope with the idea of her going out with some other guy due to jealousy and if we stay friends, it will never be enough. Equally I don't want to be seen as the jerk who cuts her off just cos I've been rejected, even though it may be in my best interests to do so. We are on the same course at uni so I'm going to see her a lot until June.
I don't think I could cope with the idea of her going out with some other guy due to jealousy and if we stay friends, it will never be enough. Equally I don't want to be seen as the jerk who cuts her off just cos I've been rejected, even though it may be in my best interests to do so. We are on the same course at uni so I'm going to see her a lot until June.
Just gonna have to grin and bear it then.
I'd probably say stop asking your friends out too, that's never going to work out. You'll just have to find some other way of getting into a relationship.
Original post by KelseyLoveday
I genuinely wish this was the case but it's so rare to find someone you are so compatible with and want to spend every moment with. I'm glad I've got closure now but it hurts a lot and is going to take a while to get over. Gutted
You'll be alright mate.
However how can you expect a girl to see you as more then a friend if you treat her like a friend?
Only in VERY RARE circumstances do friends realize they have mutual sexual/emotional connection and most of the time they've gotten drunk, had sex and realized that they do like each other.
However how can you expect a girl to see you as more then a friend if you treat her like a friend?
Only in VERY RARE circumstances do friends realize they have mutual sexual/emotional connection and most of the time they've gotten drunk, had sex and realized that they do like each other.
Original post by Knighted
You'll be alright mate.
However how can you expect a girl to see you as more then a friend if you treat her like a friend?
Only in VERY RARE circumstances do friends realize they have mutual sexual/emotional connection and most of the time they've gotten drunk, had sex and realized that they do like each other.
However how can you expect a girl to see you as more then a friend if you treat her like a friend?
Only in VERY RARE circumstances do friends realize they have mutual sexual/emotional connection and most of the time they've gotten drunk, had sex and realized that they do like each other.
Even as friends, I think she could gauge I was interested in her as I was giving her lots of signs but I take your point. Rarely do close friends end up getting into a relationship; to me it seems the natural progression but in the real world that's far from how it is! I'm not great at initiating stuff. Any advice on changing that? Intentions made very clear from the start is what you're saying.
Original post by Anonymous
Even as friends, I think she could gauge I was interested in her as I was giving her lots of signs but I take your point. Rarely do close friends end up getting into a relationship; to me it seems the natural progression but in the real world that's far from how it is! I'm not great at initiating stuff. Any advice on changing that? Intentions made very clear from the start is what you're saying.
Not intentions per say. You're thinking from a mans perspective which is completely different from a woman's as women are weird and think from multiple different points of views at the same time.
Overall words/the power of speech should only be used with a woman for discussion and to turn her on. If you want a girl to know you like her don't tell her, show her. Treat her differently from how her male friends treat her. If you want some alone time with her just do easy invites like
"Yo, I'm going for coffee later. Join Me!"
I'm still pretty monged out by the whole situation. This girl keeps on texting me every day, trying to maintain the friendship. I still like talking to her and have taken the 'rejection' in a positive manner.....yet, I'm not satisfied being just friends. I feel like she needs me as a friend more than I need her, whereas in the back of my head, I'll always be wanting more. She's perfect girlfriend material and I've just wasted the last 3 months of my life on something that was always headed for failure.
I'm not going to cut her off completely but won't be spending alone time with her anymore and in uni, I'll start talking to other people much more. Saying that past relationships had put her off is fine but I don't think I should be responsible for those failures. Out of the 2 guys she's seen, one of them already had a kid and the other was sleeping around at the same time. Having said that, she's a nice girl and I don't want to hurt her by being a **** and ditching her.
I'm not going to cut her off completely but won't be spending alone time with her anymore and in uni, I'll start talking to other people much more. Saying that past relationships had put her off is fine but I don't think I should be responsible for those failures. Out of the 2 guys she's seen, one of them already had a kid and the other was sleeping around at the same time. Having said that, she's a nice girl and I don't want to hurt her by being a **** and ditching her.
Any more advice?
Quick Reply
Related discussions
- Asking the friend of someone who rejected you
- bad ex friend is trying to get in touch after a year
- Imperial Computing
- Rejected for 'not meeting the academic requirements' even though I do?
- Girl wants him as a bf?
- Personal Statement
- What to do if your not attracted to them?
- Can I ask this girl out even though my childhood friend didn't reject me?
- CSM womenswear BA
- why isnt he being nice to me?
- Matching with Ex’s friend on Hinge
- Asked a girl out again and not sure where I stand...
- Help me
- Rejected from Warwick law
- Computer Science at UCL
- Have I blown all my chances with my crush?
- He is sending mixed signals and I don't know how to move on.
- Has anyone got an offer for politics and international relations at bristol ?
- Gender equality struggles? misogyny? something like that
- Gap year or go to England?
Latest
Trending
Last reply 4 days ago
My friend might be getting extra time and i hate it.Last reply 4 days ago
Just found out about UCL stat test but can't afford to sit itLast reply 2 weeks ago
Dad keeps criticising my university degree choiceLast reply 2 weeks ago
Is this pathetic or genuinely something to be upset aboutTrending
Last reply 4 days ago
My friend might be getting extra time and i hate it.Last reply 4 days ago
Just found out about UCL stat test but can't afford to sit itLast reply 2 weeks ago
Dad keeps criticising my university degree choiceLast reply 2 weeks ago
Is this pathetic or genuinely something to be upset about
