The Student Room Group

What should I do...?

I became good friends with a girl at the end of the last academic year, that flowed throughout the summer and into the beginning of this year. I got to the point where I thought she really liked me, and then I eventually admitted my affection to her after one of my 'friends' overheard us flirting - because I did want a relationship.

This 'friend' then goes and tells her that I have a crush on her with no intention other than embarrassing me - because up until this point I've been pretty non-existent with relationships like this, and as a result of this she apparently said to this 'friend' to say no to me. Within a week this settles down and we are still chatting fine, but it is a bit awkward.

Now, about 3 months on, people are bringing this up to her - and I heard the other day someone mentioning my crush on her right to her face. I don't actually know her opinion on it because I valued her too much as a friend to compromise it by asking her. But this was incredibly annoying... I actually felt the rage to punch him so badly, but I let it pass for some reason.

Anyway, since this incident, she has been acting really weirdly. Sending disinterested text messages, blanking me on some other social media, and just being rude and walking away when I try to talk to her / not talking to me at all. I don't want to ask her if she's annoyed at me because it could compromise what stupid little speck of a friendship we have left after this incident... And I have no other close friends who are girls... I am very lonely in life. If I lose her as a friend I will literally have no valuable assets left in my social life apart from the core things.

I can never find the time to talk to her in school about it - so if this continues, should I send a message asking if I have annoyed her / asking for an opportunity to explain myself? I am socially stupid so I don't know if this is a no-no... or what.

-_-
Maybe she feels you're becoming too fixated about her, or she has heard some nasty rumours. Try and focus on other things. I wouldn't say avoid her, just don't go out of your way to speak to her (either in school or online). When the time comes around and you talk to her, try and make it about ''ordinary stuff'' (the kind of things you talked about prior to all of this). That's what i'd do.
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Original post by SHallowvale
Maybe she feels you're becoming too fixated about her, or she has heard some nasty rumours. Try and focus on other things. I wouldn't say avoid her, just don't go out of your way to speak to her (either in school or online). When the time comes around and you talk to her, try and make it about ''ordinary stuff'' (the kind of things you talked about prior to all of this). That's what i'd do.


I probably am too orientated around her, she can be a very nice person and I don't like the idea of that slipping away.

But the things is, I know deep down that I am fixated around her - but I don't actually know to what extent I demonstrate that to her... Because I do go out of my way to talk to her often and text her, but sometimes I can't but help feel that another possible cause of this is simple disinterest - I am quite socially inept and I usually sit back and let everyone else socialise and join in when I feel it is right, and I am not sure if I am actually showing disinterest; because I really want her to come back to me like she used to, rather than me having to dive out and get the attention.
Original post by Anonymous
I probably am too orientated around her, she can be a very nice person and I don't like the idea of that slipping away.

But the things is, I know deep down that I am fixated around her - but I don't actually know to what extent I demonstrate that to her... Because I do go out of my way to talk to her often and text her, but sometimes I can't but help feel that another possible cause of this is simple disinterest - I am quite socially inept and I usually sit back and let everyone else socialise and join in when I feel it is right, and I am not sure if I am actually showing disinterest; because I really want her to come back to me like she used to, rather than me having to dive out and get the attention.


I suggest that you try and speak to her less frequently. Try not to 'force' yourself into a conversation with her. That way, when the conversation is generated 'naturally', it may feel better and go on for longer.

As for disinterest, I wouldn't suggest that you try and seek attention. You may 'slip up' and make a fool of yourself (I speak from experience :colondollar:). I know it's cliche, but just try to be yourself.

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