I have an EXTREME desire for revenge, yet I am too weak. PLEASE help.

My father got remarried 3 years ago and he's almost completely left me now. Before he got married, we were so close to each other but we did so many discussions with each other and I was a troublesome boy. I am now 19 years old and I live away from him. When I go to him, that woman is always trying to put distance between me and my father. When they wanted to go to vocation my father invited me but then that woman persuaded him to tell me than his plan is cancelled and he's not going. I eventually ended up going there but whats important is that he tried to uninvite me because of that whore. She doesn't allow us to be alone with each other, she is always following us . When I am here, he barely calls me and when I say why he doesn't give me any answers.
But there are contradictions as well. To be fair, he is spending half of his salary on my education. But he didn't ever seem happy when I told him that I was offered a place at UCL/LSE/Durham and got an interview from Oxford(still waiting for a decision). It's not so much the fact that I lost my father that hurts as much as that it is the feeling of extreme revenge that I have towards that woman. I like to murder her, but it is forbidden in my religion. She also has two you kids. Besides, I would not want to ruin my future. Apart from that, I am WEAK. I can exert any power on her, she just keeps doing whatever she wants and I have to fall victim. I don't really see her that often/ But,still, when I think about it really upsets me, I punch the wall or hit myself just to get rid of the thought. Thank you for reading this.

Reply 1

DoUEvenLift

Hate will make you stronger. Let the hate flow through you.

Reply 2

tengentoppa

Make her life a living hell. Pee on her toothbrush, cook her pet and serve it to her, burn her clothes and drive her to the depths of despair. Alternatively, have a chat with your father and explain to him that you feel neglected.

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

Original post by tengentoppa

I cant have a chat with him. I find it too difficult. WHen i attempt to ,however, he tries to escape and run away from it. Change the conversation or say some random bull****. :frown:

You dont know how difficult it is.

Reply 4

tengentoppa

Original post by Anonymous

I cant have a chat with him. I find it too difficult. WHen i attempt to ,however, he tries to escape and run away from it. Change the conversation or say some random bull****. :frown:

You dont know how difficult it is.

You need to get his attention somehow. Shout or break a glass to make it clear you are serious.

Reply 5

DoUEvenLift

Original post by Anonymous

If you dont know what to say, dont say anything. Just move to another thread.

Goooooooooooooooooood. I can feel your anger. It makes you strong.

Reply 6

username47781

Guys keep it sensible or this thread will be locked, thanks.

Reply 7

BAD AT MATHS

What you going to do, beat her up?

Reply 8

Lotus_Eater

Original post by Anonymous

I cant have a chat with him. I find it too difficult. WHen i attempt to ,however, he tries to escape and run away from it. Change the conversation or say some random bull****. :frown:

You dont know how difficult it is.

Try emailing him. That way you can marshall your thoughts and not say anything immoderate. It's much harder to run away from something written down. The act of writing is also a significant gesture which is hard for the other person to dismiss.

You certainly need to try to solve this problem with reasonable negotiation before you get to acts of revenge. Remember you want to achieve a long-term solution, not alienate people.

Reply 9

lauren.1097

I am in a very similar situation to you. Today I decided to cut my step mum out if my life for good as all she does is make my life hell. If you want to talk more message me. Hope you do the best thing for you and feel better about the situation soon

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Reply 10

DorianGrayism

Original post by Anonymous

But there are contradictions as well. To be fair, he is spending half of his salary on my education. But he didn't ever seem happy when I told him that I was offered a place at UCL/LSE/Durham and got an interview from Oxford(still waiting for a decision). It's not so much the fact that I lost my father that hurts as much as that it is the feeling of extreme revenge that I have towards that woman. I like to murder her, but it is forbidden in my religion. She also has two you kids. Besides, I would not want to ruin my future. Apart from that, I am WEAK. I can exert any power on her, she just keeps doing whatever she wants and I have to fall victim. I don't really see her that often/ But,still, when I think about it really upsets me, I punch the wall or hit myself just to get rid of the thought. Thank you for reading this.

1) Sorry….You managed to get an interview for Oxford…..and the only reason why you do not murder is because you are religious?

2) I did have sympathy. That was till I read the second highlighted part. You sound like a petulant child.

If you have an attitude that like that, then I am not surprised that his wife wants to get away from you.

3) See a counsellor.

Hire a hitman.

Your religion also probably tries to teach that revenge is not a good way of solving things, and that hate will corrupt you and make you do immature things that will only get you in more trouble, and drive you apart from your God.
The only reason for your dad's wife to hate you is that you are a link to your dad's past, maybe it just automatically makes her feel bad or defensive. She seems to be acting quite nasty to you but you could always genuinely try to be nice to her, maybe she would chill out and realise she doesn't have to be nasty to you. I mean, if your dad loves her then she must have some qualities that are worth liking, she just just be displaying her worst qualities to you and everyone had bad qualities. If it continues then what someone suggested about emailing your dad sounds like a good idea. In the email though try to see things from your dad's point of view. He will automatically dislike you or get rid of the email if you call her a whore or you want to murder her. You should emphasise that it makes you feel really angry and negative though, that way he is more likely to care about your feelings.

Reply 13

Clez

Original post by Anonymous

So you're a top student but you're (publicly) disclosing a desire to murder your stepmother?

They say there is a fine line between genius and insanity :tongue: