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Girlfriend upset over distance between us

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(edited 10 years ago)
Reply 1
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Skyelight
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I would say that this is something that only she can over come but you need to help her through it as much as you can. She obviously has some trust issues, I don't know but I'm guessing this might be due to something that happened in the past? You need to show her that you're trustworthy. Maybe tell her one of your secrets...something no one else knows, even if it's something stupid. Show that you trust her and she might start to reciprocate. Take her on a day out somewhere and build on the foundations you have built. You have a year, don't waste that. Don't push her into anything, let her take things at her own pace. Watch a favourite film with popcorn cuddled up on the sofa. Take her to build-a-bear and make a bear together and let her keep it to remind her that you're there for her. It's little things like this that make girls feel safe and secure, like they can always depend on you to be there for them. Most of all, tell her that you love her! "I love you" are three of the most powerful words on the planet when said together.
Reply 2
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miser
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Original post by jermay88
Long story short, she has a LOT of issues regarding getting close to people, we don't make out, we barely kiss, she feels anxious if I cuddle her, we've not managed full sex yet, but I'm with her, because I love her.

Your description of your situation sounds strikingly similar to my own, though my situation seems a bit milder.

The best advice I can give is to communicate with her. She needs to be able to trust you and talk to you. There's nothing you can really do about these gut reactions she has to ideas - they're thoughts and feelings, products of her anxiety. All you have control over is helping her to put her feelings in perspective. She should understand that travel is absolutely no big deal to you. She has to understand that you're there for her no matter what - that she can rely on you and trust you with anything. If she feels that deeply, then hopefully her anxieties about you and the relationship will diminish.

It's a very tough situation. All you can do is be strong and be there for her as best you can. Apart from that, it's in her court as to how willing she is to accept that.

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