The Student Room Group

Dumped by text?

Djjd
(edited 7 years ago)

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Reply 1
Nope. Don't try. Delete contacts. Move on.
Original post by luckylaurax
Hey guys, I've just been dumped by text 3 days ago and need some advice on what to do next. I met a wonderful guy a while back and we started dating for a month and half until he asked me to be official 2 and a half weeks ago. We hit it off straight away, we were texting each other morning till night literally every 5 minutes. Although it has only been a short time, I deeply cared for the guy and when he split up with me by text, I felt as if I got punched in the gut. He dumped me by text because he said he only felt friendship when he saw me so couldn't go out with me anymore. He says these feelings of friendship had only been from the last couple of days and the way he texted, was put in a really kind manner saying how brilliant a person I was etc. It was a shock because he was alright with me the day before and I had no idea he was having any doubts. Like I said, although I had deep feelings for him, I desperately still wanted him in my life so I accepted that we could only be friends. I started talking to him as a friend which he was slow in replying but now he is not texting me back whatsoever. I'm deeply upset and wonder if I should give it a week and try to text him again asking how he was or should I just leave it? If he does try to communicate with me, should I respond? Should I even try to be his friend? Also, should I delete and block him off facebook and twitter etc.? He was my first kiss, at 17 so I do truly care for him and have feelings for him, some advice would be helpful as he was my first proper relationship :frown:


First up - :console:

I understand that it is difficult now. I think what is best, is that you stop contacting him for a bit. I know it will be difficult - very difficult, in fact, but from my experience it is best. Wait until you have moved on with your life, and then, if you feel you still want to keep him as a friend, contact him, and leave the ball in his court. He may just not want to be friends. It's almost certainly not anything to do with you - you just need to be aware that he might not want that any more, and that is fine.

Don't block him on Facebook/Twitter (unless it is getting in the way of the moving on process) - you don't want to burn bridges.

Good luck :smile:
Original post by cant_think_of_name
First up - :console:

I understand that it is difficult now. I think what is best, is that you stop contacting him for a bit. I know it will be difficult - very difficult, in fact, but from my experience it is best. Wait until you have moved on with your life, and then, if you feel you still want to keep him as a friend, contact him, and leave the ball in his court. He may just not want to be friends. It's almost certainly not anything to do with you - you just need to be aware that he might not want that any more, and that is fine.

Don't block him on Facebook/Twitter (unless it is getting in the way of the moving on process) - you don't want to burn bridges.

Good luck :smile:


Original post by Clip
Nope. Don't try. Delete contacts. Move on.

Thanks guys! I'm completely upset, haven't been sleeping well etc. It's just a shock that it is so out of the blue and that he did it via text. I think he wants to be friends but he keeps sending mixed signals through his texts, ignoring me one minute and then next talking to me. I think he doesn't know what he wants.
Original post by luckylaurax
Hey guys, I've just been dumped by text 3 days ago and need some advice on what to do next. I met a wonderful guy a while back and we started dating for a month and half until he asked me to be official 2 and a half weeks ago. We hit it off straight away, we were texting each other morning till night literally every 5 minutes. Although it has only been a short time, I deeply cared for the guy and when he split up with me by text, I felt as if I got punched in the gut. He dumped me by text because he said he only felt friendship when he saw me so couldn't go out with me anymore. He says these feelings of friendship had only been from the last couple of days and the way he texted, was put in a really kind manner saying how brilliant a person I was etc. It was a shock because he was alright with me the day before and I had no idea he was having any doubts. Like I said, although I had deep feelings for him, I desperately still wanted him in my life so I accepted that we could only be friends. I started talking to him as a friend which he was slow in replying but now he is not texting me back whatsoever. I'm deeply upset and wonder if I should give it a week and try to text him again asking how he was or should I just leave it? If he does try to communicate with me, should I respond? Should I even try to be his friend? Also, should I delete and block him off facebook and twitter etc.? He was my first kiss, at 17 so I do truly care for him and have feelings for him, some advice would be helpful as he was my first proper relationship :frown:


just stay away, you seem sweet and deserve far more than to dumped in such a spineless gutless yellow bellied cowardly way as a text
punch.png

(it wouldn't upload any bigger *sigh*)
Reply 6
Original post by luckylaurax
Thanks guys! I'm completely upset, haven't been sleeping well etc. It's just a shock that it is so out of the blue and that he did it via text. I think he wants to be friends but he keeps sending mixed signals through his texts, ignoring me one minute and then next talking to me. I think he doesn't know what he wants.


Would you really want to get back with him after the way he dumped you?
Reply 7
If he had any respect for you, or any guts, he would have at least waited until you'd met in person.
Original post by luckylaurax
Thanks guys! I'm completely upset, haven't been sleeping well etc. It's just a shock that it is so out of the blue and that he did it via text. I think he wants to be friends but he keeps sending mixed signals through his texts, ignoring me one minute and then next talking to me. I think he doesn't know what he wants.


He may have stopped replying in order to help you both move back into a state of friendship. I don't think you should text him (I know it's difficult not to though). However blocking him etc may be a bit far as you may miss the friendship in the long run. Nevertheless, if you find it difficult seeing photos of him etc on your newsfeed, deleting him may help you to move on.

Also, being dumped by text is really harsh.
Reply 9
Original post by luckylaurax
Thanks guys! I'm completely upset, haven't been sleeping well etc. It's just a shock that it is so out of the blue and that he did it via text. I think he wants to be friends but he keeps sending mixed signals through his texts, ignoring me one minute and then next talking to me. I think he doesn't know what he wants.


You really need to start ignoring/blocking. No reason to upset yourself and just move on.

Personally I wouldn't get angry about it or try and demonise him. He did what he did. Who knows why - maybe there was a good reason. But that's irrelevant. Go and make your own situation better.
Original post by meenu89
Would you really want to get back with him after the way he dumped you?


No, I wouldn't but I would like to be friends because I cared for him deeply and his personality was what won me over, he was very kind and charming. The text was fairly long and very apologetic so at least I got kind of an explanation that he just felt friendship for me.
Original post by Riku
If he had any respect for you, or any guts, he would have at least waited until you'd met in person.


Original post by PosionedMushroom
He may have stopped replying in order to help you both move back into a state of friendship. I don't think you should text him (I know it's difficult not to though). However blocking him etc may be a bit far as you may miss the friendship in the long run. Nevertheless, if you find it difficult seeing photos of him etc on your newsfeed, deleting him may help you to move on.

Also, being dumped by text is really harsh.


Original post by Clip
You really need to start ignoring/blocking. No reason to upset yourself and just move on.

Personally I wouldn't get angry about it or try and demonise him. He did what he did. Who knows why - maybe there was a good reason. But that's irrelevant. Go and make your own situation better.
I'm not angry at all, just deeply saddened and upset because it seems that I have lost a very important person in my life because we were talking ALL the time for a month and a half. I just thought, maybe I should try and salvage a friendship from it at least? But should I wait till he gets in contact with me or should I contact him in a few weeks? Should I even bother? Would a friendship be even a good idea? :frown:
Original post by silverbolt
just stay away, you seem sweet and deserve far more than to dumped in such a spineless gutless yellow bellied cowardly way as a text


Not even friends once I am over him? I just looked at how many texts we had sent each other and its over 8000 :frown:
Reply 13
Don't play cat and mouse with him, stop texting him, he might want you to chase him, don't! let him chase you!
Original post by luckylaurax
Hey guys, I've just been dumped by text 3 days ago and need some advice on what to do next. I met a wonderful guy a while back and we started dating for a month and half until he asked me to be official 2 and a half weeks ago. We hit it off straight away, we were texting each other morning till night literally every 5 minutes. Although it has only been a short time, I deeply cared for the guy and when he split up with me by text, I felt as if I got punched in the gut. He dumped me by text because he said he only felt friendship when he saw me so couldn't go out with me anymore. He says these feelings of friendship had only been from the last couple of days and the way he texted, was put in a really kind manner saying how brilliant a person I was etc. It was a shock because he was alright with me the day before and I had no idea he was having any doubts. Like I said, although I had deep feelings for him, I desperately still wanted him in my life so I accepted that we could only be friends. I started talking to him as a friend which he was slow in replying but now he is not texting me back whatsoever. I'm deeply upset and wonder if I should give it a week and try to text him again asking how he was or should I just leave it? If he does try to communicate with me, should I respond? Should I even try to be his friend? Also, should I delete and block him off facebook and twitter etc.? He was my first kiss, at 17 so I do truly care for him and have feelings for him, some advice would be helpful as he was my first proper relationship :frown:


Wow! This is shocking! You can't change your mind in two days from having feelings to turning to the "friend zone". And not only that, breaking up by text is very hurtful and I can understand that you're quite hurt right now. From the sounds of it, he doesn't sound worth the bother. I mean you've only been going out with him for a short length of time and if it's someone who can change is mind so quickly like he did, what's saying he will think about shunning you out of his life completely after he said he would be friends? I'm not trying to sound mean and sorry if it's coming off that way but honestly, I would block him and start looking for someone else and forget about him. That's the best way forward in my outsiders opinion. Hope you work things out though.
Original post by Flexa
Don't play cat and mouse with him, stop texting him, he might want you to chase him, don't! let him chase you!
I'm wondering if he is ignoring me now after texting him because he just wanted to ease the guilty conscience of breaking up with me via text message :frown:
Original post by luckylaurax
I'm not angry at all, just deeply saddened and upset because it seems that I have lost a very important person in my life because we were talking ALL the time for a month and a half. I just thought, maybe I should try and salvage a friendship from it at least? But should I wait till he gets in contact with me or should I contact him in a few weeks? Should I even bother? Would a friendship be even a good idea? :frown:


I'm not sure I would bother, but if he contacts you then you could reply. I wouldn't initiate it though.
Reply 17
Original post by luckylaurax
I'm wondering if he is ignoring me now after texting him because he just wanted to ease the guilty conscience of breaking up with me via text message :frown:


Trust me, there's nothing more satisfying than when somebody wants you. leave him to his own devices.
Original post by reapingunicorn32
Wow! This is shocking! You can't change your mind in two days from having feelings to turning to the "friend zone". And not only that, breaking up by text is very hurtful and I can understand that you're quite hurt right now. From the sounds of it, he doesn't sound worth the bother. I mean you've only been going out with him for a short length of time and if it's someone who can change is mind so quickly like he did, what's saying he will think about shunning you out of his life completely after he said he would be friends? I'm not trying to sound mean and sorry if it's coming off that way but honestly, I would block him and start looking for someone else and forget about him. That's the best way forward in my outsiders opinion. Hope you work things out though.

Okay, thank you for your opinion, I looked at how many texts we sent each other and it's over 8000. I felt a connection when talking to him. He said I should only be friends once I am "over" him, so maybe he is only not talking to me to give me some space? He has quite a big ego and thinks he is really beautiful which he has told me over and over again. Maybe he just talked to me at the start to ease his guilty conscience to know I wasn't mad at him. :frown:
(edited 10 years ago)
Original post by PosionedMushroom
I'm not sure I would bother, but if he contacts you then you could reply. I wouldn't initiate it though.


Original post by Flexa
Trust me, there's nothing more satisfying than when somebody wants you. leave him to his own devices.
So you think I should wait to see if he initiates friendship? What if he never gets back to me? :frown:

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