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Lost for options - teenage sister getting bullied

Hi,

My sister is in her final year of high school now (and what a relief that is!). In year seven she was 'the popular girl'. By that I mean; the girl who everybody wanted to be and all the boys were after. But with that came deep rooted jealousy. In her second year she dropped all that popular girl bravado and became friends with some normal, everyday girls.

Everything was going fine until year 10 when a certain girl decided that my sister was to be her next victim. Known for being brutish and loud mouthed, the girl has and still continues to, find ways of making my sisters life hell. She's made Facebook accounts in her name, sent her abusive text messages but each time it never gets traced back to her. She frequently threatens to beat her up and stalks around the school with her cronies watching my sister for any slight move that she can use to threaten her with.

My sister now has counselling, stress related IBS and heart palpations. She's a very pretty girl (I wouldn't say it if it weren't true) and now that I'm no longer at school I constantly worry about her. To this day, the girl has never hit my sister, but simply the threat of it is enough, because there is no way my sister could stand up to her and the rest of them, she'd end up In a coma.

I'm out of options, the school does nothing (trust me, we've tried many times!), Facebook authorities only do so much and there isn't enough evidence to take to any authority such as the police.

Can anybody see a viable solution?

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Reply 1
Original post by worriedteen134
Hi,

My sister is in her final year of high school now (and what a relief that is!). In year seven she was 'the popular girl'. By that I mean; the girl who everybody wanted to be and all the boys were after. But with that came deep rooted jealousy. In her second year she dropped all that popular girl bravado and became friends with some normal, everyday girls.

Everything was going fine until year 10 when a certain girl decided that my sister was to be her next victim. Known for being brutish and loud mouthed, the girl has and still continues to, find ways of making my sisters life hell. She's made Facebook accounts in her name, sent her abusive text messages but each time it never gets traced back to her. She frequently threatens to beat her up and stalks around the school with her cronies watching my sister for any slight move that she can use to threaten her with.

My sister now has counselling, stress related IBS and heart palpations. She's a very pretty girl (I wouldn't say it if it weren't true) and now that I'm no longer at school I constantly worry about her. To this day, the girl has never hit my sister, but simply the threat of it is enough, because there is no way my sister could stand up to her and the rest of them, she'd end up In a coma.

I'm out of options, the school does nothing (trust me, we've tried many times!), Facebook authorities only do so much and there isn't enough evidence to take to any authority such as the police.

Can anybody see a viable solution?


Have your parents contacted the girls parents and shown them what she's been doing and it's effect? Sometimes parents can be more effective than the school.
Also, if the school isn't doing anything then write to the board of governors complaining about its lack of action. This will scare them into doing something.
(edited 10 years ago)
Reply 2
Even if you don't have enough evidence for the police, they'll still take it on board and have a talk with her. Sometimes that's enough to scare them off.
Your parents really need to tell this to the school and the police could get involved if this is really happening. Is sickening how cruel teenage girls especially can be. Even if the school has ignored it before doesn't mean that you should give up. Organise a meeting with the head teacher, the school can get into a lot of trouble for ignoring this type of behaviour. I really do hope your family manage to get this sorted out :frown:
Reply 4
Disgraceful the school isn't doing anything. Have your parents gone to the school to explain the situation to a senor member? Make a record of all the cyber bullying as evidence. Also as previously suggested talk to the bullies parents and explain the situation.

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Reply 5
My parents had a meeting with the mother of the girl and told her everything, but she swore her daughter was innocent and would never do such things, even when we showed her all the texts/Facebook comments we have. Frankly, she didn't seem that bothered that her daughter was and is a bully. She just shrugged it off as though it was normal teenage behaviour.

In the end it made things worse for my sister, the girl ridiculed her for trying to tell on her and made a Facebook account where she proceeded to have arguments with people (in my sisters name) to get them to argue with her. Of course we could never prove that it was the girl behind it all, apart from the fact that she admitted it to my sister (of course, that cannot be proved either as it's not like it was recorded or anything) and the school couldn't get it out of the girls (although they admitted to knowing about the account) so the subject was dropped.

I'm scared that my sister might do something stupid and/or fail her GCSE's. I want her to have a bright future but the amount of stress she's under is making her seriously ill.


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Original post by Kiss
Even if you don't have enough evidence for the police, they'll still take it on board and have a talk with her. Sometimes that's enough to scare them off.


this ^^

or make a complaint about the school, they're supposed to be really harsh on bullying and so forth now and I really can't imagine that there is no evidence for ANY of what has happened at any point and no teachers/friends who have ever observed anything...

my step sister is autistic and gets bullied badly so I know it's hard to watch, especially since most of the time there is ntohing at all to be done, you can force people to intervene but often this will just annoy the bullies more, probably the most useful thing you can do for your sister is support her emotionally for her last period of school and hope that these girls get bored and choose someone else...
Reply 7
We've had meetings with the head teacher, and the head of year. Nothing conclusive ever happens as it is always mentioned that the girls are from 'under privileged backgrounds' so suspending/expelling them isn't an option.


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If I were you, I'd take print screens next time she does anything and go to the police, go to anti-bullying authorities online like cybersmile...they take this **** REALLY seriously, especially if you have the evidence that comes with cyberbullying. Even if it can't be concretely traced back to this girl they will be able to do something. I'm so sorry about this, I've never been bullied that badly but I know what it's like to feel like you can't do anything and there's no way out - but there is always hope.

Alternately, you can go all action movie and get her to use her phone to record the bully threatening to beat her up - a last resort option, of course.

The absolute last resort would be to get her to switch school. It's not weakness, it's self-preservation.
(edited 10 years ago)
Reply 9
That's what we are doing, I guess it's the best option. It's nice to know other people have the same problems (you hear about it but never speak to anyone). I teach her the stuff she misses when she's off school because she's sick and she keeps her head down in school.

Thankyou, doodle333 and everybody else.


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Reply 10
Original post by worriedteen134
We've had meetings with the head teacher, and the head of year. Nothing conclusive ever happens as it is always mentioned that the girls are from 'under privileged backgrounds' so suspending/expelling them isn't an option.


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I repeat my suggestion of notifying the board of governors.
Has she considered moving schools?
Reply 11
Also block all the accounts if she's being cyber bullied. And write a status someone has created an account in your name so they know its not your sisters account. Also tell your sister to hang around with a group of friends or school library for example. Also contact anti bullying helpline they might be able to help?

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(edited 10 years ago)
Reply 12
Original post by Shelly_x
I repeat my suggestion of notifying the board of governors.
Has she considered moving schools?


Yeah I was going to suggest that but she's not got much time left before she's got exams and stuff.

Posted from TSR Mobile
The main thing that I would advise is persistence. Keep talking to the school until they pull their fingers out from their collective backsides and do something, be somewhat forceful if you have to, they need to take action, contact the Police and see what they would do, talk to the parents, try and let them see what your sister is going through and see what they can do.

Try and talk to the aggressor as well and try to figure out what makes them tick. Just talk to her, but be the stronger individual, force her into a (metaphorical) corner and make her understand just what she's doing.

I've had bullying problems myself, and, although it seems slightly cliché, talking has always been the best solution, for me at least.

Hopefully you can resolve this quickly, I wish you the best of luck. If you want any help or support, I'm always here.
Many times! But the high schools in our area are all within a one mile radius of each other so it's not like the girl wouldn't have access if she wanted it plus, due to this everybody knows everybody-.- I do agree that the bullying would reduce but it's the texting/Facebook/twitter bullying that's worst. She's come off all those sites before but it doesn't seem to make things better, because then people have more reason to believe the fake accounts are hers. All the schools teach different exam boards and the few friends that my sister does have she'll be taken away from.

I wondered whether you could block numbers on mobile phones? As in, if the girl tried to send her a text it would show up as 'failed to send' so she would know my sister didn't receive the message


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Does she not have any friends who can support her claims or anything? The littlest things can go a long way
Reply 16
Original post by worriedteen134
Many times! But the high schools in our area are all within a one mile radius of each other so it's not like the girl wouldn't have access if she wanted it plus, due to this everybody knows everybody-.- I do agree that the bullying would reduce but it's the texting/Facebook/twitter bullying that's worst. She's come off all those sites before but it doesn't seem to make things better, because then people have more reason to believe the fake accounts are hers. All the schools teach different exam boards and the few friends that my sister does have she'll be taken away from.

I wondered whether you could block numbers on mobile phones? As in, if the girl tried to send her a text it would show up as 'failed to send' so she would know my sister didn't receive the message


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Yes you can block numbers

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Reply 17
I hate that this sort of thing happens, it's really sad.
The message on the sites sounds like a good idea, then people would know she isn't online.

I was thinking of talking to the girls sister (who was in my year at school) however I'm unsure as I don't want to make it any worse plus I'd have to do it over Facebook because she doesn't go to my college. My sister thinks this will make things worse, what do you think?


Posted from TSR Mobile
Usually when someone decides to make it there duty , to pester me. I deck them , but this wouldn't be viable in this case.
I suggest going to the board of governors , also attain evidence of the bullying and take it the police.

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