I've made such a mess of my life
In 2011 I was diagnosed with anxiety after having a pretty serious breakdown where I didn't leave the house for about two months although I eventually reached a point where I had my life back on track. Skipping to today, I finished my A-levels last year with AAA in Biology, English Lit and History. For a long time I saw myself as a 'humanities' kind of person and intended to pursue a humanities degree at university and hadn't thought much about a career. I'm currently on my 'gap year' and I'm due to send my application for and English and History degree tomorrow (late I know but I had to wait for a reference) but I'm not really sure that's what I want to do and I have no idea what career I want to pursue with it. I kind of wish that I'd done a second science at A-level so that I could do something more science related or practical but it's too late for that now. I just have this awful feeling that I'm heading down the wrong path and that I'll live to regret it. I don't have much choice though. If I don't go this year I'd be at least 20 before I went next year, that's if I've even made my mind up about what to do by that point. I had a panic attack this morning about it; I'm really confused and frustrated with myself for not being able to make a decision as to what to do with my future. If anyone has any advice about what to do I'd be really grateful, my anxiety is completely consuming me at this point.
Original post by Anonymous
In 2011 I was diagnosed with anxiety after having a pretty serious breakdown where I didn't leave the house for about two months although I eventually reached a point where I had my life back on track. Skipping to today, I finished my A-levels last year with AAA in Biology, English Lit and History. For a long time I saw myself as a 'humanities' kind of person and intended to pursue a humanities degree at university and hadn't thought much about a career. I'm currently on my 'gap year' and I'm due to send my application for and English and History degree tomorrow (late I know but I had to wait for a reference) but I'm not really sure that's what I want to do and I have no idea what career I want to pursue with it. I kind of wish that I'd done a second science at A-level so that I could do something more science related or practical but it's too late for that now. I just have this awful feeling that I'm heading down the wrong path and that I'll live to regret it. I don't have much choice though. If I don't go this year I'd be at least 20 before I went next year, that's if I've even made my mind up about what to do by that point. I had a panic attack this morning about it; I'm really confused and frustrated with myself for not being able to make a decision as to what to do with my future. If anyone has any advice about what to do I'd be really grateful, my anxiety is completely consuming me at this point.
Hi, firstly I'm sorry that you have to deal with anxiety, it's far from easy. And secondly, well done on your fantastic A level results! Don't worry about a career after your degree, most people don't go on to work in the field that they studied, and as you're going through your degree, you'll realize there are a lot more work opportunities that you hadn't known about before.
I'd encourage to apply to uni this year, as you might decide in a few months that you really want to go. As a suggestion, have you thought about applying to universities that allow you to take a few subjects in your first year? I'm a bit bias as i've applied to Glasgow, but Glasgow, Edinburgh and St Andrews allow you to study three subjects in your first year, and for you one of these could be a science subject since you have biology A level. Then in your further years you decide which one to study to honors level.
Alternatively, you could take a year out, since you have really good grades, it would make it easy to apply to university again next year and will give you more time to think about what you'd like to study. Personally, i'm on a gap year this year and will be 21 when I start uni, and i'm so glad I made that decision. I feel happier in myself as a person as I used to dread going to sixth form, because i'd be so anxious about tiny things like getting on the bus, or walking into classes. I've had time to become more confident and learn how to control my anxiety. And also, if you get a job, you'd be able to fund another science related A level if you wanted to.
So, don't worry, you've definitely not made a mess of your life. It's quite the opposite. You'e obviously very bright!
I agree, I always thought I wanted to do law, and managed to get onto a great course at uni so that's what I'm doing now. When you get to uni you realise how many different options there are, so now I'm even questioning if I want a career in law at all. That may sound really unnerving but it's actually refreshing to know that you can do so many things afterwards (even if I fail, which I worry about time). Trust me, you have not messed up your life. Go to uni, do your humanities degree, and worry about what you want to do a bit later. There really is no rush. Hope this helps xx
