Why do ppl cheat?

I get that in marriage, divorces can be a hassle.

But in a regular committed relationship, if one person isn't feeling the love anymore and they've tried to rekindle it and have failed, why is it some cheat?

Isn't it better and kinder to have the break up talk? That way both can move on.

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Reply 1

FlavaFavourFruit

In an ideal world, they would be kinder and break up and move on

We're humans. We're selfish. We want the best of both worlds.

Reply 2

vickyhunt

Original post by keromedic

Maybe the person just isn't ready for such a committed relationship, it's a shame really but some people unfortunately can't control themselves

Reply 3

Kvothe the Arcane

Original post by vickyhunt

Maybe the person just isn't ready for such a committed relationship, it's a shame really but some people unfortunately can't control themselves

Yes. But why not say something?

Reply 4

vickyhunt

Original post by keromedic

Yes. But why not say something?

Hmm, scared of losing their partner?
I don't think people cheat cos they're not happy, I guess they're just selfish wanting more than they have kinda thing..

I guess they don't appreciate already being with somebody, but someone I know suggested that people like having a fall back partner like someone that's always there anyway so you can go out and do whatever the hell you want but you've still got your partner which is rather sad really...

Reply 5

461219

Because they're too much of a coward to be honest and tell their partner that they're not in love with them anymore. In their minds they think it's easier to lie to the person and sleep around.

Reply 6

Kvothe the Arcane

Original post by FlavaFavourFruit

In an ideal world, they would be kinder and break up and move on

We're humans. We're selfish. We want the best of both worlds.

I see. In that case, what I'd do personally is explore the option of an open relationship. I know that works for some. But I'd talk about it.

I don't like sneaking. I know some ppl think I'm harsh but I think it's better to be honest.

Indeed. If it's cowardice there's other options besides a face-to-face convo. It may not be ideal but it's better imo that the parter finding out another way.

Reply 7

Kvothe the Arcane

Original post by vickyhunt

I see what you're saying.

Reply 8

smd4std

who ****ed in your coffee?

Reply 9

vickyhunt

Original post by Aimes_14

Because they're too much of a coward to be honest and tell their partner that they're not in love with them anymore. In their minds they think it's easier to lie to the person and sleep around.

Hmm... I believe in some cases, you can still love someone and cheat on them I'd just say they weren't ready for such a relationship, relationships aren't easy at the best of times they all require work and attention, but you can still be in love with someone and be wrong for them

Reply 10

2ndClass

Depends on the circumstances. For guys I think it's the lack of physical affection from the girl. He still loves his girlfriend and won't leave her for the other person, but the constant rejection forces him to seek it out somewhere else.

(edited 10 years ago)

Reply 11

chocolatesauce

I thought this was about cheating in class...

Reply 12

461219

Original post by vickyhunt

I don't think there is any excuse for cheating. If someone believes that they can cheat on their partner and be in love with them they are very mistaken and have no clue about what love is and should remain single until they figure it out instead of taking the piss.

Reply 13

vickyhunt

Original post by Aimes_14

Maybe it's a different kind of love but they don't realise

Reply 14

SoftPunch

Because some people have no sense of guilt and shame, and literally don't give a ****.

Reply 15

Viva Emptiness

Original post by vickyhunt

You sound like the sort of person who has INCREDIBLY low standards in a relationship.

In my experience, people cheat because they are drunk, think they will get away with it, are currently unhappy and act on stupid impulse, are too cowardly to have "the talk" with their current partner, they get some sort of validation from sleeping around/feeling desired by others or any combination thereof

All reasons are terrible ones, and it's never acceptable imo.

Reply 16

Alpha brah

Same reason people generally do immoral/selfish stuff. Lack of self control/willpower/unwillingness to take responsibility/weak-minded personality etc.

Reply 17

eelnais

1. Bored.
2. Unsatisfied.

Reply 18

username917703

Original post by Alpha brah

Same reason people generally do immoral/selfish stuff. Lack of self control/willpower/unwillingness to take responsibility/weak-minded personality etc.

That's the main one imo (+naivety), in my experience anyway, it is just selfish. I typed a couple of paragraphs then decided I couldn't be arsed. But basically if the other person is good enough/temptation is strong enough I reckon most people will do it.

Them sort of people who swear they'd never do it and it's the worst thing ever talk **** imo. I used to think like that.

I've never done it btw.

Reply 19

461219

Original post by SoftPunch

Because some people have no sense of guilt and shame, and literally don't give a ****.

I agree with you completely! They also have no feelings. They make me feel sick! What goes around ALWAYS comes around and they will end up sad STD infested loners!