Chivalry

Reply 20

username1132180

16

Chivalry is one of them words where it don't look right spelling wise.

Reply 21

2ndClass

3

I'm only chivalrous to a girl I'm involved with, the rest of you can go **** yourselves, especially the femtards.

Reply 22

Rascacielos

19

Original post by AnJuM218

To be honest, I hold doors for anyone regardless of gender. It's just common courtesy. The same goes for letting someone go first.

There's chivalry and there's common courtesy.

I agree with this. If a guy holds a door open for me, it's probably because I held the previous one out for him. If a guy takes me on a date and offers to pay, then that's really kind of him, and I don't consider that I'm entitled to it because of my gender. Similarly, if people in a social situation stand up as I'm leaving, then I think it's nice of them to acknowledge that I am leaving. I don't assume there's anything chivalrous about it, but kindness goes a long way.

If you want me to pull out your chair for you in a restaurant, then I will happily oblige!

Reply 23

Rascacielos

19

Original post by rizzyg2

Firstly, let me just say that I am 100% in favour of equality between the sexes. I wouldn't expect a man to stand up for me on a bus etc, if a guy held a door open for women but not for men, I'd be offended. However when I'm on a date and a guy pays, it feels really courteous. If a guy doesn't pay, it doesn't bother me in the slightest- however when a guy does pay, I feel very feminine, like I'm being treated specially. I think equally however, if I'd asked him out, I'd want to pay... however because I'm ridiculously awkward, I highly doubt I'm ever going to be asking anyone out *blushes*. Chivalry is half treating everyone nicely and half treating the person you're taking on a date specially. I don't see anything wrong with that!

You put that so well. I was trying to explain why it's nice to be paid for on a date without sounding hypocritical, and you managed it!

Reply 24

Danz123

13

Original post by rizzyg2

Firstly, let me just say that I am 100% in favour of equality between the sexes. I wouldn't expect a man to stand up for me on a bus etc, if a guy held a door open for women but not for men, I'd be offended. However when I'm on a date and a guy pays, it feels really courteous. If a guy doesn't pay, it doesn't bother me in the slightest- however when a guy does pay, I feel very feminine, like I'm being treated specially. I think equally however, if I'd asked him out, I'd want to pay... however because I'm ridiculously awkward, I highly doubt I'm ever going to be asking anyone out *blushes*. Chivalry is half treating everyone nicely and half treating the person you're taking on a date specially. I don't see anything wrong with that!

As long as you're being nice and treating the person you're with specially as well, then no, there isn't.

The problem I have with the outdated word 'chivalry' is that it's a behavioural code for men to use when women are present. It should be abolished, even if people take it to mean something slightly different. It'll always have those connotations. People just need to be polite to one another and expect no special treatment. Anyone who actually wants to debate that is already a lost cause. Imagine if there was a similar word for women that required them to carry out certain tasks for men and men alone to earn the title 'ladylike' or whatever, the same way girls call guys 'gentleman' for doing xyz things for her? Wouldn't you hate that? It makes no sense. Just being polite to one another is more than enough.

Reply 25

enthuziazmz

Original post by rizzyg2

however when a guy does pay, I feel very feminine

why? i'd feel treated like a child .

Reply 26

Studentus-anonymous

12

Original post by AnJuM218

To be honest, I hold doors for anyone regardless of gender. It's just common courtesy. The same goes for letting someone go first.

There's chivalry and there's common courtesy.

This, chivalry served a purpose, in an ideally equal society it serves none.

Reply 27

UnfriendlyTurtle

OP

Original post by rizzyg2

Firstly, let me just say that I am 100% in favour of equality between the sexes. I wouldn't expect a man to stand up for me on a bus etc, if a guy held a door open for women but not for men, I'd be offended. However when I'm on a date and a guy pays, it feels really courteous. If a guy doesn't pay, it doesn't bother me in the slightest- however when a guy does pay, I feel very feminine, like I'm being treated specially. I think equally however, if I'd asked him out, I'd want to pay... however because I'm ridiculously awkward, I highly doubt I'm ever going to be asking anyone out *blushes*. Chivalry is half treating everyone nicely and half treating the person you're taking on a date specially. I don't see anything wrong with that!

No, it's really not. That's simply called respect or courtesy. Chivalry is closely tied to notions of 'gentlemanliness' and being a 'real' man. Whenever have you seen a couple walk into the rain in the movies, and the woman offers the man her coat?

Original post by EllieC130

I don't mind admitting I'm attracted to chivalry; I just don't expect it. It's a privilege not a right. Some girl forget that.

I don't know, wouldn't it sound slightly offish to you if I were to say I was attracted to submissive, docile women? Because it sounds slightly offish to me that you are attracted to being treated specially on the basis of your sex.

Original post by Rascacielos

I agree with this. If a guy holds a door open for me, it's probably because I held the previous one out for him. If a guy takes me on a date and offers to pay, then that's really kind of him, and I don't consider that I'm entitled to it because of my gender. Similarly, if people in a social situation stand up as I'm leaving, then I think it's nice of them to acknowledge that I am leaving. I don't assume there's anything chivalrous about it, but kindness goes a long way.

If you want me to pull out your chair for you in a restaurant, then I will happily oblige!

In this instance, I wouldn't have a problem with the man paying so long as it was out of his humanity and not on the grounds that you are a female. However, that rarely seems to be the case, and if it were it would imply that women expect men to be the more charitable, as it is rarely the case of women paying for the first date.
My scenario was one of the man standing when a woman enters the room, not when she leaves it. The latter is common courtesy and you are right not to assume such intentions.

Original post by Danz123

As long as you're being nice and treating the person you're with specially as well, then no, there isn't.

The problem I have with the outdated word 'chivalry' is that it's a behavioural code for men to use when women are present. It should be abolished, even if people take it to mean something slightly different. It'll always have those connotations. People just need to be polite to one another and expect no special treatment. Anyone who actually wants to debate that is already a lost cause. Imagine if there was a similar word for women that required them to carry out certain tasks for men and men alone to earn the title 'ladylike' or whatever, the same way girls call guys 'gentleman' for doing xyz things for her? Wouldn't you hate that? It makes no sense. Just being polite to one another is more than enough.