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How often do you think is healthy to see a partner?

I would like to see my boyfriend more as I don't feel we spend much time together at all. He tells me that we do and it be clingy if we spent more time together. We spend about 3 hours a week together I usually go round his house on a sunday and we just sit there while he watches the football its usually between 3 and 5pm and that's it. Sometimes he'll see me on a Saturday eveing for a little bit but usually Friday night he's at the pub with his friends then Saturday he's playing football with his friends during the day then they go out clubbing or to parties and he'll come home sunday.

I know his time is his and if he wants to go out that's up to him but im finding it hard always fitting around his friends. His friends see there girlfriends during the week and usually the taken ones leave the pub early and don't go clubbing as they are seeing their girlfriends.

This weekend I asked to see him but hes out at a party on Saturday and said he has to go for drinks with work on Friday, the weekend after that hes away with friends. I booked a night away so we actually could see one another but even then we have to leave early as he wants to get back to go out.

Hes 25 so hes not a baby hes not very clingy or soppy at all but im finidng it increasingly hard being second best when I spoke to him he just had a go at me and told me I was clingy.

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Reply 1

Bronco2012

He sounds like a total prat tbh

Reply 2

Dr Pesto

Sorry to say, that doesn't sound like much of a relationship.

Reply 3

zaback21

3 hrs a week is definitely not enough.

3 hrs /day is acceptable.

You are not clingy, perhaps he has other things in life more important than you. Its not your fault. Some men have girl as 1st priority, some has other things. Its up to you to decide if you can be happy with such arrangements.

Reply 4

redferry

3hrs a week? Hardly sounds like a relationship. Should be more like 24 hrs a week

Reply 5

Bridget Jones

It should be his friends that have to fit around your schedule, not the other way round!

Speak to him and let him know you don't feel like youre spending enough time together!

And what above posters have said!

Reply 6

It's****ingWOODY

Original post by zaback21

3 hrs a week is definitely not enough.

3 hrs /day is acceptable.

Whilst I agree that 3 hours a week is not enough... 3 hours, every day? Too clingy for my liking, if you see too much of someone all the time you start to get on each other's nerves. Spending time together everyday is fine when you're both completely used to each other being around and you've become accustomed to each other's negative traits and you start settling down together for the long term, but if you start seeing each other every day too early on then things can get monotonous very quickly. 3-4 days a week would be better.

(edited 10 years ago)

Reply 7

Bronco2012

Can people stop putting discrete time levels on the exact amount of time that they should spend together? Some couples would love to be able to spend 3 hours a week together. The problem here isn't the lack of time as such, but the fact that she isn't a very high priority for him.

Reply 8

username1257670

Sorry to suggest this, but it sort of sounds like you might be the 'other' girl

Reply 9

zaback21

Original post by WoodyMKC

........

Ok not 3 hrs a day, I was just going with the posting lol. But yes 15 mins-30 mins each day is good enough depending how it is. Someday you might be spending more, some less.

Reply 10

nase14_aldayz

Two/ three well spent days together a week.

Reply 11

pinkbullets

That's ridiculous - what sort of relationship is that? If he can't give you more than 3 hours a week, get rid of him. Him calling you clingy is manipulative, he very well knows that you're not being clingy. I am willing to bet that none of his friends only see their girlfriends for a few hours a week.

Reply 12

beckaroo7

3 hours a week is not clingy one bit. Sounds like you're pretty low on his list of priorities. I've read several threads about s similar situation about a girl whose boyfriend is always clubbing and putting clubbing and friends first. Are you this girl?

Reply 13

stargirl63

I see my boyfriend about 2-3 times a week, and we live about 40 miles apart but make it happen.
He knows you're not being clingy. He also knows he's being an idiot and taking advantage of you being trusting and giving him his own space. Why can his friends leave the pub early but he can't? Does he think his friends are in intense relationships because they see each other more than 3 hours a week? Do you feel like quality time is spent watching footy on a Sunday? You should be a priority no one is saying that he should ditch his friends for you but you're deffo more important than football game!!

Reply 14

Cybele

I was going to say 3 or 4 times a week? 3 hours is pathetic!

Reply 15

username1345959

He should definitely be wanting to see you more than that. I wouldn't say there's a set amount for how regularly you should be seeing your partner but as much as possible seems good unless there are certain commitments to be made.

Reply 16

r.a.m.1.2.3

I'm sorry but if he's 25 he should know better than to be telling you seeing each other for 3 hours on a sunday is too clingy. Does he ever invite you to come out with his friends? That would be different.
How long have you guys actually been together because I feel really bad for you, no one deserves to be treated that way. He's trying to stop you from questioning him by putting you down and telling you your being clingy when really you've been the opposite by trusting him to want to see so little of you! If he's worth it and you're definitely in love, talk to him and explain how you feel, and don't let him take over the conversation or put you down. If not, then get out quick because he sounds like a player who is using you and taking advantage of your good and trusting nature.

Reply 17

Pessimisterious

Get rid.

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Reply 18

BlueSheep32

I don't think there's a set amount of time two people in a relationship should see each other for in a week; IMO it just depends on what works for the couple in question. But seeing as he's pretty happy with the little amount of time you spend together and you're not, and it doesn't seem like he has any desire to spend any more time than that with you, then I'd say you're not really a well matched couple. He doesn't sound like he's worth your time and you deserve better.

(edited 10 years ago)

Reply 19

Viva Emptiness

Unless your relationship is extremely casual, I wouldn't say 3 hours a week is enough to maintain/build any lasting connections or feelings. How long have you been together, OP?