The Student Room Group

Dealing with depression at university

I'm a second year studying Neuroscience at University of Manchester. I feel in my first year/ start of first semester of second year, I made all the wrong choices when making friends, spent far too long with people who I realized I had very little in common with, to cut a long story short- I feel that I have indirectly Isolated myself, and have no to little friends. This, combined with the pressure of the recent January second year exams have lead to me suffering regular panic attacks, I'm only really comfortable when at home as my parents know how to calm me down and get me in a good place.
I realize for the second semester I am just going to have to take it on the chin and get through it, regular trips home should help.
Would you reckon of commuting next year from Birmingham to Manchester for Uni with a seasonal rail pass, financial wise its slightly cheaper than accommodation, and it would mean I have my parents to keep me calm for what is going to be the most stressful academic year of my life. Anyone in a similar position commuting wise or know someone in a similar position?
Thanks and sorry for the essay :smile:
Reply 1
I had a similar situation; lived in halls, made no friends, got depressed, decided to stay at home. It actually made things worse because being at home made me feel more isolated and depressed so i went back to a different hall and did make a couple friends but by then i had spent so long being depressed that i flopped the course and had to drop out.

I say try a different hall and if that doesnt work then drop out. Sounds extreme but even my professor told us all on the first day that if we arent enjoying it we WILL flop and he was totally right in my case. Better to leave and start again when feeling better than stay and end up with a 3rd class degree because your mind wasnt focused.

Also forget about university counsellors i always got a strong paid to care vibe from them, their advice is also pretty basic and unhelpful: "just look on the bright side!"

Ill get a lot of hate but honestly dropping out is an option. Everyone will always say just stick it out because they arent in your shoes crying yourself to sleep and eating till you throw up. Ive never once regretted dropping out.
Original post by WGR
I say try a different hall and if that doesnt work then drop out. Sounds extreme but even my professor told us all on the first day that if we arent enjoying it we WILL flop and he was totally right in my case.

This has given me food for thought.
Reply 3
Original post by Sam Takhar
]Would you reckon of commuting next year from Birmingham to Manchester for Uni with a seasonal rail pass, financial wise its slightly cheaper than accommodation, and it would mean I have my parents to keep me calm for what is going to be the most stressful academic year of my life. Anyone in a similar position commuting wise or know someone in a similar position?)


This ultimately depends on how important the social aspect of university is to you. Though you may have panic attacks (and anxiety?), and perhaps might feel overwhelmed by the prospect of starting again with new friendships, it is still possible to try again and make new friends. Even in your second/third year.There are usually referesher fairs around this time in the academic year, and you can join new societies at any point. There will also be new freshers next year.

Living at home and commuting can have its advantages. You will have your parents and the security they bring. However, this also risks you feeling even more isolated as your life will be commute, work, commute. Commuting such a distance can be tiring and, if you do have panic attacks/anxiety, travelling on public transport may be stressful especially at busy times.

Have you spoken to student welfare about how you're feeling, or your GP? You need a proper diagnosis. A diagnosis of depression might also help you to get support in place for next year, such as a mentor or help with stress management.

Original post by WGR

Also forget about university counsellors i always got a strong paid to care vibe from them, their advice is also pretty basic and unhelpful: "just look on the bright side!".


Sorry you had a bad experience, but don't think it's useful to tell people to "forget about" them. Ultimately counselling isn't for everyone, and there are different types of counselling. Moreoever someone who is stressed, especially if they are also depressed, will likely need support through other services too for maximum benefit.
Reply 4
Original post by Sam Takhar
I'm a second year studying Neuroscience at University of Manchester. I feel in my first year/ start of first semester of second year, I made all the wrong choices when making friends, spent far too long with people who I realized I had very little in common with, to cut a long story short- I feel that I have indirectly Isolated myself, and have no to little friends. This, combined with the pressure of the recent January second year exams have lead to me suffering regular panic attacks, I'm only really comfortable when at home as my parents know how to calm me down and get me in a good place.
I realize for the second semester I am just going to have to take it on the chin and get through it, regular trips home should help.
Would you reckon of commuting next year from Birmingham to Manchester for Uni with a seasonal rail pass, financial wise its slightly cheaper than accommodation, and it would mean I have my parents to keep me calm for what is going to be the most stressful academic year of my life. Anyone in a similar position commuting wise or know someone in a similar position?
Thanks and sorry for the essay :smile:


Wow, that sounds terrifyingly familiar, I drove myself mad at not being able to make friends with my flatmates who were just so different from me instead of making an effort with societies and finding like-minded friends there and it drove to me to miserable isolation, so if anything the homesickness increased throughout the first year as a result.

Its tough, but I'd advise not to automatically agree with WGR on counselling, it'll entirely depend on the university (and other factors of course), personally I thought the counselling service I received was very good at my university, so its definitely a good idea to consider that to help you through the isolation and I regret not going to the service at my uni sooner.
(edited 10 years ago)
Reply 5
Original post by Sam Takhar
I'm a second year studying Neuroscience at University of Manchester. I feel in my first year/ start of first semester of second year, I made all the wrong choices when making friends, spent far too long with people who I realized I had very little in common with, to cut a long story short- I feel that I have indirectly Isolated myself, and have no to little friends. This, combined with the pressure of the recent January second year exams have lead to me suffering regular panic attacks, I'm only really comfortable when at home as my parents know how to calm me down and get me in a good place.
I realize for the second semester I am just going to have to take it on the chin and get through it, regular trips home should help.
Would you reckon of commuting next year from Birmingham to Manchester for Uni with a seasonal rail pass, financial wise its slightly cheaper than accommodation, and it would mean I have my parents to keep me calm for what is going to be the most stressful academic year of my life. Anyone in a similar position commuting wise or know someone in a similar position?


Although you're not in the same situation I was in, I can really understand some of what you're saying..
I felt a bit isolated - due to the nature of my course and my shy personality I found making friends really hard. I felt really alone at times when my housemates were all out with their friends, I felt that I couldn't just join their groups..

I think at the moment you're focusing on huge uncertain changes when I think you could make a few small changes?
Although university counselling may not be for everyone, in my experience I found it a great tool to make me think about things a bit more positively - resulting in far fewer panic attacks and less self pity, so that's an option?

As for commuting, that could be isolating yourself even more? You could always try a different place? Join societies and sports teams? I know that didnt work for me but has worked for a lotttt of my friends!
I know how home can feel like the best place in the world but you cant hideout there, trust me im no stranger to this!

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