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I'm transgender, ask me anything

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How do you know that the way you feel on the inside is "like a woman", if you don't know what other women feel like? I don't really understand how, logically, one is able to identify a "mismatch" between their birth sex and their internal gender if they haven't got anything to compare it to.

How are you able to determine that your gender matches your sex?

To use a different allegory, imagine you and another person look at a tomato. You both see it as a colour you call 'red.' But you've never seen through that person's eyes, so how do you know if you're both seeing the same colour? What they call red might be what you call green.

We can never be 100% sure of these things, but we just use our instincts and our observations of other people. Plus I'd imagine she had a fair bit of internal conflict.

Reply 61

Pictraz

Original post by Transagenda

then don't m8 <3

So how old are you? Have you had any problems with being 'inbetween'?

And I was just saying that because that is just, wow. I really disagree with that, but it's cool.

Reply 62

Transagenda

Original post by paradoxicalme

1 - that's good :smile:

it's weird how flippantly people will use those slurs
2 - it's strange how terrified people get when gender or sexuality norms are challenged
3 - girl preference! high five! :biggrin:

yeah, boys smell!

Reply 63

Black Cat

Has your name changed since the transgender transformation?
What did your family say?

Reply 64

TheBBQ

Original post by Transagenda

Cisgender people don't make sense to me either!
but seriously, yes. Not all trans people have surgery.

What is cisgender? :lolwut:

Okay then, but if you want to feel as much as possible like a woman why keep the penis but get breasts and everything else? If gender is indeed a social construct why do everything to be as feminine as possible including physical changes but keep the penis? That is quite conflicting..

Reply 65

Transagenda

Original post by Pictraz

So how old are you? Have you had any problems with being 'inbetween'?

And I was just saying that because that is just, wow. I really disagree with that, but it's cool.

17, and yes. I'm not in between, I'm a girl.
and disagree me all you want, just don't oppress me or anything

Reply 66

username1042689

Original post by TheBBQ

What is cisgender? :lolwut:

The second point she'll have to answer, but I can tell you the first: cisgender is the opposite of transgender. It's where what's between your legs matches the gender you identify with. Basically, it's what you and 99% of the population is.

Reply 67

EatMyJunk

Original post by Transagenda

How do you know that you're cisgender?

what is cisgender?

Reply 68

Transagenda

Original post by Black Cat

Has your name changed since the transgender transformation?
What did your family say?

Yes, I'm Jade now uwu
And no, i'm not telling my family until I've moved out. That should say a lot

Reply 69

Ronove

Original post by tazarooni89

I think this is where we start to reach the point where it makes sense to entirely disconnect gender from sex, though I'm not sure how possible that will ever be, given the historical ties, or discard gender entirely and/or just let it gradually merge into personality and preferences in general.

Though it's quite easy to see how someone in this society would identify as a woman while not being female biologically - society tells us all kinds of things about what it is to be a man or be a woman, all the time, from our earliest years. If you identify a whole lot better with what society is saying about being a woman while you have a penis, then it would naturally lead to you identifying as a woman, despite society still largely being determined to bundle female with the gender of woman and male with the gender of man, and therefore tell you you're unnatural.

Reply 70

Transagenda

Original post by TheBBQ

What is cisgender? :lolwut:

Because I'm just comfortable with my penis the same way a cis woman would be comfy with her vagina.

Reply 71

RobML

Do you think changing the name of "gender dysphoria" to "brain-sex dysphoria" would clear up a lot of confusion surrounding the issue?

Reply 72

TheBBQ

Original post by paradoxicalme

Right then, interesting how we are all grouped together and given a name :lolwut:

never heard of it and it seems quite weird :tongue:

Reply 73

Transagenda

Original post by EatMyJunk

what is cisgender?

non trans folk

Reply 74

tazarooni89

Original post by paradoxicalme

How are you able to determine that your gender matches your sex?

I'm not. All I know is that I was born into this sex, and with this mindset/gender. It's the only combination I've ever experienced, so I couldn't tell you whether it's right or wrong. It is what it is.

In the same way that, if someone has never seen a man in their life, and then one day they see a man walking around in a dress and high heels, there's no reason why they should be able to identify it as cross-dressing, as far as I can see. They'd have to first know that most men don't dress like that, in order to do so.

To use a different allegory, imagine you and another person look at a tomato. You both see it as a colour you call 'red.' But you've never seen through that person's eyes, so how do you know if you're both seeing the same colour? What they call red might be what you call green.

It could be. I wouldn't claim to know that what they call "red" and what I call "red" trigger exactly the same sensation in both of us. Exactly how someone else perceives the world is surely just something we must accept that we can never know?

(edited 10 years ago)

Reply 75

Ronove

Original post by TheBBQ

What is cisgender? :lolwut:

I'm sorry for taking the gamble of answering for Transagenda when she may well have a different take on it to me, but to answer your question - a vagina is not part of a social construct. Having a vagina does not necessarily make anyone more 'feminine' in terms of gender.

(edited 10 years ago)

Reply 76

Pictraz

Original post by Transagenda

17, and yes. I'm not in between, I'm a girl.
and disagree me all you want, just don't oppress me or anything

But I thought you said you were pre-op? And of course not.

Reply 77

Transagenda

Original post by RobML

Do you think changing the name of "gender dysphoria" to "brain-sex dysphoria" would clear up a lot of confusion surrounding the issue?

maybe!

Reply 78

EatMyJunk

Original post by Transagenda

non trans folk

well in answer, i know im male becuase A biologically, B hormonolly. And any other way you could define male. which is why i asked you before how do you define a girl. you said its how you feel like- but waht does that mean? i mean you only know what girls are like by social interaction and social knowlegde any way right?
unless you are are saying you are attracted to men as (most)girls are - then i could point to some hormonal factor.