Does proximity cause sexual lust?

i have started feeling a bit confused about my flatmate. i am a girl. he is a good looking guy but i never fancied him, as far as i am aware. hes a bot of a "lad". there was a few days where it was just him and i in our flat plus one more because the others went home and we went out almost every day, and my other flatmate said he seemed like he wanted to get with me when we were out.. (which i didn't realise/agree with)... but when i heard that i knew i really didn't want to.

along with that, there is my other flatmate and him and her are good friends too (we are all close). i am pretty sure she likes him. some people say they are going to get together (only sex). recently this has started making me feel jealous. i really don't like the thought. i don't know why, whether it's just feeling left out or something different.

also when i've been drunk the last few times i have actually been attracted to him.. and now when i am sober i am also confused. i definitely don't have relationshippy feelings towards him, but i love him as a friend and have suddenly started maybe feeling sexually attracted to him. i would never want to ruin the friendship though or cause drama in my flat.

i just want some opinions? is this just because i am feeling a bit jealous and i see him all the time?

Reply 1

mathsmathsmaths

It doesn't sound like he's right for you anyway. Try to move on :tongue:

Easier said than done probably.

Reply 2

EatMyJunk

never underestimate the aphrodisiac qualities of booze

Reply 3

So Instinct

20

You're not always instantly attracted or not attracted to someone. The saying is "I've developed feeling for.." The keyword is developed, it takes time sometimes.
If it's happening just embrace it, live life as you normally would and let it take you wherever it goes.

(edited 10 years ago)

Reply 4

It's****ingWOODY

20

Of course it does. This is how dudes in prison end up banging each other even though they went into prison as straight guys.

Reply 5

SMEGGGY

21

Why not get it on? Talk it through with him see what he says

Posted from TSR Mobile

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by So Instinct

You're not always instantly attracted or not attracted to someone. The saying is "I've developed feeling for.." The keyword is developed, it takes time sometimes.
If it's happening just embrace it, live life as you normally would and let it take you wherever it goes.

i cannot really imagine myself in a relationship with him or even wanting that. pretty certain i wouldn't want to even risk that, he is one of my favourite guys friends. however i think i kind of want to just GET with him or maybe even i just want him to want to get with me but it not to actually happen... i don't even know if he's attracted to me or has similar feelings. i can only imagine it ending messily if something DID happen between us though especially because of my friend who i suspect has feelings towards him.

Reply 7

TurboCretin

20

Original post by Anonymous

i have started feeling a bit confused about my flatmate. i am a girl. he is a good looking guy but i never fancied him, as far as i am aware. hes a bot of a "lad". there was a few days where it was just him and i in our flat plus one more because the others went home and we went out almost every day, and my other flatmate said he seemed like he wanted to get with me when we were out.. (which i didn't realise/agree with)... but when i heard that i knew i really didn't want to.

along with that, there is my other flatmate and him and her are good friends too (we are all close). i am pretty sure she likes him. some people say they are going to get together (only sex). recently this has started making me feel jealous. i really don't like the thought. i don't know why, whether it's just feeling left out or something different.

also when i've been drunk the last few times i have actually been attracted to him.. and now when i am sober i am also confused. i definitely don't have relationshippy feelings towards him, but i love him as a friend and have suddenly started maybe feeling sexually attracted to him. i would never want to ruin the friendship though or cause drama in my flat.

i just want some opinions? is this just because i am feeling a bit jealous and i see him all the time?

Perhaps you're at a point where you want someone, saw the potential of someone else having what you want and became jealous, but misidentified the jealousy. I think the 'just feeling left out' bit might have some merit. You need you figure out whether you actually want him or you just want something with someone. Either way, probably inadvisable to get with your flatmate.

Reply 8

Jebedee

17

Make your mind up if you're going to act on it but if not, don't cockblock him.

Reply 9

So Instinct

20

Original post by Anonymous

i cannot really imagine myself in a relationship with him or even wanting that. pretty certain i wouldn't want to even risk that, he is one of my favourite guys friends. however i think i kind of want to just GET with him or maybe even i just want him to want to get with me but it not to actually happen... i don't even know if he's attracted to me or has similar feelings. i can only imagine it ending messily if something DID happen between us though especially because of my friend who i suspect has feelings towards him.

You don't need to act upon it, I wouldn't just get with him, if you're worried about tension that would be the worse thing you could do.

Like I said I would just live life normally and see where I end up.