Helping girlfriend to find job.

Hello

Things are going fairly swimmingly for me, just landed the £30k grad job, nicely laid out plans for where I want to go over the next five years and how to do it, back up plans, contacts made to support back up and immediate plans etc...

However, the girlfriend graduated last summer and has sat on her arse at her parents place since doing nothing more than a couple of hours a week on a menial till job and complaining that she doesn't have enough money for anything. Every time I try to ask what she plans to do I get moaned at for nagging, and told that she doesn't know what she wants to do.

Any suggestions for how I can try and get her to take job hunting slightly seriously?

Reply 1

KICHMYARSE

12

try different jobs, she might end up liking one of those jobs.

Reply 2

KICHMYARSE

12

also tell her that your income alone wont buy you 2 a house or anything nice. barely enough to keep your head above the water. that should be enough incentive for her if she wants to have a house, nice thins to wear, nice things to eat whatnot.

Reply 3

Old_Simon

12

It is a theory of mine that some people find the prospect of really leaving home and taking responsibility for their own life to be absolutely terrifying. This can lead to inertia and paralysis. I don't really criticise them. Uni and a loving supporting family to go home to is a nice situation for them. But a "pull yourself together" type of approach does not really address the underlying emotional state.

Reply 4

Pip123321

2

It is difficult if you don't know what you want, it's hard enough if you do know and have all the work experience, let alone when you feel clueless

Reply 5

345rty

OP

12

Original post by Pip123321

It is difficult if you don't know what you want, it's hard enough if you do know and have all the work experience, let alone when you feel clueless

I appreciate that many people are having difficulty at the moment finding work, but everyone else I know from university has either gone into a grad job or a PhD without massive struggles. Not necessarily doing things they are all that enthused about but earning enough to look after themselves and plan for the future. She simply appears to be sticking her head in the sand.

Reply 6

Crumpet1

19

Her parents probably feel the same way. Have you considered sharing ideas with them to find a solution?

Reply 7

Stickman

19

What did she graduate with? Degree and what class?

Reply 8

Old_Simon

12

Original post by 345rty

I appreciate that many people are having difficulty at the moment finding work, but everyone else I know from university has either gone into a grad job or a PhD without massive struggles. Not necessarily doing things they are all that enthused about but earning enough to look after themselves and plan for the future. She simply appears to be sticking her head in the sand.

Sadly is does not really follow that a girl with a degree is really interested in a career or even working at all.

Reply 9

345rty

OP

12

Original post by Stickman

What did she graduate with? Degree and what class?

I know she uses this forum so I don't want to give too much identifiable information out, but a degree and classification from a suitably prestigious university that got a couple of her peers into very competitive jobs. I don't think the degree is going to be a limiting factor by any means. She also had a very well paid year in industry thrown in so its not like she lacks suitable experience.

Reply 10

KICHMYARSE

12

Original post by 345rty

I know she uses this forum so I don't want to give too much identifiable information out, but a degree and classification from a suitably prestigious university that got a couple of her peers into very competitive jobs. I don't think the degree is going to be a limiting factor by any means. She also had a very well paid year in industry thrown in so its not like she lacks suitable experience.

i can understand what she is going through. you do a lot to get to university/college, you do an internship or placement, you realise that the job you actually do is something 12 years old can do easily. even in socalled competitive industries. most jobs are like that. you start thinking "this is what i have been studying towards. this is really crap."

there is no cure is there.

i did an internship where my job was to watch a desk and mind the phone. in a very prestigious company. i asked my boss, can i watch football, they said of course you can. junior guys are often there because there are things senior guys dont want to do or in case workload in the office gets out of control (so any hand will do).

there is no cure for what she has got.

she might try a manual job and see if she likes it.

Helping girlfriend to find job.

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