Mandatory birthday night out with my cheating ex and his new girlfriend

It's possible to rant on into all the details, so want to keep this condensed.

Mine and my ex's 2 mutual friends are having a joint birthday night out next week. One of the mutual friends is my best friend, the other mutual friend is his best friend.... Naturally I can't avoid going out.

It's been 5 months since the split, we haven't spoken since the day we did. He claimed the reason we split was he was depressed and couldn't be in a relationship, I found out a month later he had been cheating on me with this other girl I know.

I'm past the idea of 'getting back together with him,' (I don't tolerate anyone treating me that way) yet he does not know I know he cheated with this girl who will be there.

Is it worth me ignoring him that night? If we were to get into conversation, I'm not the type to get upset but rather try and belittle him, and that's not going to end up well on a birthday night out for everyone else.

On the other hand, and I know it's petty, but I like the idea of getting back at him for cheating on me... I've kept my mouth shut these past 5 months about it, and I've been seeing other guys, but even though I think he's scum, part of me just likes the idea of making him feel immense regret and know he won't be able to get it back... I don't know whether that's achieved by ignoring him or being overly nice...

Reply 1

panda_eyes_

2

Just treat him like you would any other person, not too nice and not ignoring him. Any attempt at getting back at him is just going to make him feel like the big man making girls fight over him and you'll just look like the jealous ex. Just go and have a good time and don't let the fact that he's there ruin your night. Be the better person! That's what more likely to make him feel regret as if you don't seem bothered by his presence he's got nothing on you and it can't backfire on you.

Reply 2

Kazbian

10

Original post by panda_eyes_

Just treat him like you would any other person, not too nice and not ignoring him. Any attempt at getting back at him is just going to make him feel like the big man making girls fight over him and you'll just look like the jealous ex. Just go and have a good time and don't let the fact that he's there ruin your night. Be the better person! That's what more likely to make him feel regret as if you don't seem bothered by his presence he's got nothing on you and it can't backfire on you.

This. Don't start playing games. It won't end well.

Reply 3

beckie92

OP

Original post by panda_eyes_

Just treat him like you would any other person, not too nice and not ignoring him. Any attempt at getting back at him is just going to make him feel like the big man making girls fight over him and you'll just look like the jealous ex. Just go and have a good time and don't let the fact that he's there ruin your night. Be the better person! That's what more likely to make him feel regret as if you don't seem bothered by his presence he's got nothing on you and it can't backfire on you.

Yeah that makes a lot of sense- I just hate the idea of him thinking that I A) don't know he cheated on me and B) That he's got the 'upper hand' showing off his new girlfriend (he doesn't know I know he's got a new girlfriend either) whilst I'm the single ex who he's laughing at behind my back!

Suppose you're right in that he's more likely to feel regret if I don't seem bothered by his presence though

Reply 4

beckie92

OP

Original post by Kazbian

This. Don't start playing games. It won't end well.

Yeah true- It's hard being the bigger person!

Reply 5

frazza77

Two ways, the sensible way described above, or as you've taken the time to post this all online, you're probably still a bit raging over events, play games, cause it, have a good night and unfortunately suffer the consequences. Sometimes heads have to roll.

Really all depends on whether or not you think you're good enough at playing the game.

Reply 6

username941859

18

Easy, take a date. Doesn't have to be anything serious, but it shows that you've moved on too.

Reply 7

IndianDancer

14

Yeah be the bigger person. Its hard saying this as I hate people who cheat more than most things in life. But yeah....enjoy yourself and let us know how it goes :biggrin:

Reply 8

LaKreeDubs

Heres what you do...
Go there in you best dress with your hair done nails done n everything looking SUPER HOT indirectly show him what he's missing. Dont start anything with him but act normal make him believe you seriously dont even care dont make it obvious you trying to make him jealous bcoz thatl boost his ego enjoy urself dont let him ruin ur night n if he tries anything with yu simply tell him the past is the past n walk away to start an argument bcoz its ur friends birthday everybody should enjoy it but he should go home wallowing in self pity he should actually be depressed from seeing how stunning you are n how happy you are with out him n feeling sad that he ****ed up n lost his chance with you

Just enjoy the party

Posted from TSR Mobile

Reply 9

Mankytoes

10

Original post by beckie92

On the other hand, and I know it's petty, but I like the idea of getting back at him for cheating on me... I've kept my mouth shut these past 5 months about it, and I've been seeing other guys, but even though I think he's scum, part of me just likes the idea of making him feel immense regret and know he won't be able to get it back... I don't know whether that's achieved by ignoring him or being overly nice...

I think if you try and do this, you're just going to look like the one who is bitter, especially as he's got a new girlfriend.

I'd just be polite but cool, not really say anything, then near the end just drop in "she seems nice, hope you don't cheat on her" and walk away.

Reply 10

AdampskiB

2

Show him you don't care.

Reply 11

MsFatBooty

Original post by Mankytoes

I think if you try and do this, you're just going to look like the one who is bitter, especially as he's got a new girlfriend.

I'd just be polite but cool, not really say anything, then near the end just drop in "she seems nice, hope you don't cheat on her" and walk away.

I like this idea, golden.

Reply 12

Studentus-anonymous

12

I second the being civil, acting like you don't care and generally just leaving it, but dropping the remark, the hint in parting that you're aware he's a cheat.

Reply 13

beckie92

OP

Original post by Mankytoes

I think if you try and do this, you're just going to look like the one who is bitter, especially as he's got a new girlfriend.

I'd just be polite but cool, not really say anything, then near the end just drop in "she seems nice, hope you don't cheat on her" and walk away.

This is perfect- you're all right in that I should be the bigger person- thanks a lot everyone! :smile:

Reply 14

Old_Simon

12

I would go along and cause a huge drama like a "Made in Chelsea" type thing, calling the other girl a slut and so forth.

Reply 15

Steezy

15

Act as if you've just met him and aren't that fussed to talk.

It would be best if you could take a date along with you, but that's not exactly fair on the date!

Reply 16

Steezy

15

Original post by Mankytoes

I think if you try and do this, you're just going to look like the one who is bitter, especially as he's got a new girlfriend.

I'd just be polite but cool, not really say anything, then near the end just drop in "she seems nice, hope you don't cheat on her" and walk away.

Wow, you're awesome

Reply 17

geoking

18

What's going on in this thread? Ignore him. Ignore him until the day you die. He's a dick, no one wants to talk to a dick, so don't talk to him.

Reply 18

redferry

19

Original post by Studentus-anonymous

I second the being civil, acting like you don't care and generally just leaving it, but dropping the remark, the hint in parting that you're aware he's a cheat.

definitely this

You can't just leave it, it will eat away at you. I'd let him know you know, but don't be a dick about it.

Maybe, it was so nice to meet your gf, she's a keeper, I wouldn't cheat on her if I were you. kiss on the cheek, and go home.

Reply 19

JD95

16

Original post by Mankytoes

I think if you try and do this, you're just going to look like the one who is bitter, especially as he's got a new girlfriend.

I'd just be polite but cool, not really say anything, then near the end just drop in "she seems nice, hope you don't cheat on her" and walk away.

I just have the image of someone saying this and then walking off without turning back like in the movies when there's an explosion behind the main character and they coolly stride away. :lol:

Mandatory birthday night out with my cheating ex and his new girlfriend

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