Help with work experience letter?! :)

Hey guys, I really need some help with my work experience letter. I really want to help out at my old primary school, but I am not entirely sure that my letter will get me the job!! If you cu read it over and give me some constructive criticism and improvements that would be awesome!

Dear Miss *****,
I am writing to you to enquire about whether you would let me help out in the school's nursery for my work experience from the

I was a former student at St Charles, and was always enthusiastic about helping younger children between the ages of 3-5. I am aware that assisting with a job such as this one, requires patience and understanding- and I would be delighted to work with these children, as I am sure that I would be able to show that I can work with both perseverance and diligence. I am rather innovative, and keen to evolve from a careless teenager, to someone who sees responsibility as a fundamental factor in growing up and becoming an active member in society.

I left St Charles with the target grades of A's in all of my subjects, apart from maths- in which I was given a predicted B. I am currently a student at (current school) next door, and have a nephew who is now in his sixth year at St Charles. I am now studying for my GCSE'S which I will take next year, and several sporadic exams for various subjects throughout the year. I am 15, and I am studying Information and communication technology, sociology, geography, religious studies, as well as my core subjects.

I am interested in taking my interests further, and working as a nursery school teacher when I am older. Looking after children has becoming a significant part of my life, as looking after my nephew was a regular task, which I found enjoyable and had no problem with.
In addition to this, I am also going to be signing up for a 'children's buddy' project, which will allow me to care for children with disabilities or social incapability's.

In conclusion, I sincerely hope that you will consider letting me work with the nursery at St Charles, and thank you for taking the time to read my letter.

I hope to hear from you soon.
Yours Sincerely,
(name)

I know it needs tweaking- but I'm super nervous!! :biggrin:

Reply 1

Carrot_Cake_13

17

Wow.... This is amazing :tongue:

It does seem a bit too formal considering it was your primary school. Have you tried going there and asking directly about Work Experience? Or did they say that you needed a letter?

Reply 2

Nerd2

18

I am writing to you to enquire about whether you would let me help out in the school's nursery for my work experience from the
Could be more formal, saying ' whether you would let me help out' sounds quite informal to me. Perhaps say something like "...enquire about the possibility of me assisting in the day to day running of the school's nursery as part of my work experience.

Also you mention you're 15 in the second paragraph - you should of perhaps mentioned this in your first oaragraph, as this ideally is where you introduce the basic info about yourself.

Also when you used the word "sporadic" just seems out of place and almost like you just used synonym checker. Generally that sentence is quite negative, you say you have sporadic exams for various subjects, don't say "various subjects, just name the subjects, saying various subjects makes it seem like your not passionate about them.

I like the whole letter though, when I was your age I didn't even bother writing a letter and did a random work experience placement that didn't benefit from at all. I think the fact that you took the initiative to write a letter and explain why your passionate about working there is great and I'm sure the nursery will see this as well.

Good Luck

(edited 10 years ago)

Reply 3

Tbear46

7

This may sound petty but I was always taught at school not to start a letter with" I am writing" because it is obvious. Could you perhaps start with
"I would like to enquire" and continue as Nerd2 advised above
Good luck with your letter

Reply 4

MyChemicalOreos

OP

Original post by Nerd2

I am writing to you to enquire about whether you would let me help out in the school's nursery for my work experience from the
Could be more formal, saying ' whether you would let me help out' sounds quite informal to me. Perhaps say something like "...enquire about the possibility of me assisting in the day to day running of the school's nursery as part of my work experience.

Also you mention you're 15 in the second paragraph - you should of perhaps mentioned this in your first oaragraph, as this ideally is where you introduce the basic info about yourself.

Also when you used the word "sporadic" just seems out of place and almost like you just used synonym checker. Generally that sentence is quite negative, you say you have sporadic exams for various subjects, don't say "various subjects, just name the subjects, saying various subjects makes it seem like your not passionate about them.

I like the whole letter though, when I was your age I didn't even bother writing a letter and did a random work experience placement that didn't benefit from at all. I think the fact that you took the initiative to write a letter and explain why your passionate about working there is great and I'm sure the nursery will see this as well.

Good Luck

Wow! Thank you so much! I basically used 'sporadic' because I love using that word- but I get what you're saying xD
You really helped!Thanks :3

Reply 5

MyChemicalOreos

OP

Original post by Carrot_Cake_13

Wow.... This is amazing :tongue:

It does seem a bit too formal considering it was your primary school. Have you tried going there and asking directly about Work Experience? Or did they say that you needed a letter?