The Student Room Group

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Reply 20
Hobbies!

You make friends, get a sense of purpose and have fun.:smile:
Diagnosis Emo
Reply 22
FeedTheGoat
Diagnosis Emo


So are you saying that if I start wearing girls jeans and dye my hair black and clothes with bleeding hearts on, I'll feel better? Or are you just an idiot?
I'm quite explicitly calling you an emo. Hence the above diagnosis.
I am the poster who claimed that I had a very similar life to this guy.
I certainly am not emo; quite the opposite, and I doubt he is emo. He sounds more nerdy than anything (meaning no offense, I would describe myself that way tbh)

He is writing this because he is fed up of his lack of social life and girls, and he wants help figuring things out.
It's harder than you think getting out there when you don't talk to many people, especially when you aren't good at making conversation. You kind of dig your own grave. You can't talk to people well, so you don't talk to people, and so your skills diminish and it's a mess.
I very nearly made such a thread myself a month ago, but decided not too for one reason or another.

Thread starter: sorry if I have labelled you in anyway you don't agree with in this post, or falsely identified with you.
Reply 25
Scarily accurate I'm afraid :frown:
Reply 26
I can relate to this situation to some extent.. I've decided the best thing for me to do is forget worrying about all the people/things that have been a problem in the past, i'll be leaving most of them behind when i go to uni anyway... I thought the best way to spend time over the summer was to get plenty of hours at work, for money and at least some social interaction and join the gym, get healthy and start feeling better about myself over the self-pity i have been in for the last 2 or 3 years... If you are going to uni this will probably be the best chance you have to turn your life around - make the most of it.
No the difference between this guy and emos is that he is actually sad for a purpose - not because its summer, or his jeans make his ass look big, or becuase he doesn't have the latest polka dot top.

Fact is darling you are naturally shy, and I think in this world so many people are actually fakely loud. Or maybe it's always been like that, I dunno. People forget it takes all types, not everyone has to be the life and soul of the party. We need diversity. And never forget that. Fact is you're human, I think any one who is emotive and wants to be loved or whatever has turned to drink or drugs or at least once in their life. I feel sorry for you, but I still think you can get yourself out of this mess. I think you are quite a "dfferent" person, but that's so great, just realise that. You wil find other people who respect you for that and I'm sure there is a girl who will be very willing to accept you. Effort doesn't HAVE to be about conversation, it's about lots of things.

You need to find something that will get you out of your depression. It’s different for different people. I mean do you want to be close to people, or do you want to want to be close to other people? Maybe music, or the arts like other people have said will change you. Maybe an event. Maybe doing good for the world. Maybe finding your “true path” in life or something. I dunno, but it will be there somewhere. Just hold on. You are human and someone or something will get you out of this one day, and it wil be even sooner if you start to believe in yourself and in life itself :smile:

I didn’t mean that to sound so cheesy but I mean all of it. I’m posting anaoymously though 
Reply 28
OP, I relate to quite a bit of what you're saying! I've been very shy for the past few years and got into a rut where I couldn't really break out of it and be myself. At school I was also tagged the "geeky quiet one" and when I went to sixth form on the other side of town I never really shed this image, even though I'm not really like that. I only really have one proper friend who I see socially, people already had their friendship groups at 6th form and although I got on very well with quite a few people we never quite made it to being friends who hung out or anything. After years of being bullied and belittled from years 7-11 I suppose I didn't feel good enough to actually be acknowledged.

You're not being "emo" for being depressed and for someone to accuse someone of that when they're actually feeling very down is just plain spiteful. Try to look forward to uni and the fact that it's going to be life-changing, it seems as though that's what quite a few people on this thread are doing.
Reply 29
Hi, I don't know if it will help you but have a look at this website http://www.stevepavlina.com/index.htm

read all articles,they are really good and can influence your attitude towards life, motivate you etc
Reply 30
fragreaper
Get over yourself.

Seriously, not being too harsh, but if you dont like something about your life, make a serious effort to change it. Take steps that mean something to YOU, make yourself feel needed and worthwhile.

Counsellors wont tell you how to change your life, they will only help you come to terms with it as is. You, and only you are the only person you can rely on. You want something? Make it happen.

Most will probably judge me harshly for these words, but, you never know how strong you are until you are truly tested.

I wish you the best of luck with your journey.



That's a really good post.
Work out what you don't like and want to change, and start working on i. I don't mean surround yourself with reams of paper and endless lists (hypocritical there, I know, sorry :redface: ) and that's step one, sorted.
Or are you just feeling emotionally ****ed, in the sense that you've got no-one to talk to? If so, I mean, feel free to PM me, I'm not going to laugh at you 'cause I've got a friend who's prety similar...even the gaming thing....wait a minute, your name isn't Smith, is it?

*edit. Well, at least your typing skills are probably superior to mine. Dangnabbit*
the way i see it you have two options

1) take up WoW, hence erasing the need for a social life (its sooo good)

2) go to LAN and get a social life

PM if you want :smile:
If you don't like the idea of writing stuff, then fair enough, but I was going to suggest you try this. Occasionally, when I'm really sick of things, I'll just sit down and write stuff or draw things. The majority of my 'creativity' is rather depressing stuff which I would be unlikely to show anyone, but by getting things out of your system and down onto a piece of paper can help you clear your mind and feel less 'down'.
high priestess fnord
1) take up WoW, hence erasing the need for a social life (its sooo good)

He plays counterstrike, which is better :biggrin:
The first think you can do, Anon, is to just take a step back. The more you believe that your entire world is falling down, then the more problems you think you'll have and you'll find it so hard to resolve them.

I can't exactly tell you what to do, but just pick each issue you have with yourself and others and change them one by one - thats the way to you reaching a happier place in your life.

For example, friends. Friends don't have to be actual real people, they can be anywhere. If you find it hard to trust friends or develop personal relationships with people close - then being on an internet forum is a start.

It seems as though you have a lack of confidence, and with a forum you don't have to show yourself, but just give a personality which inside is secretly being destroyed, but at the same time you get comfort from people and can share problems and common ground.

Perhaps try writing a diary. Talk to yourself, as sad it sounds.. But that way you might clear off from your head. Go out and visit places you never thought you would. Just to get away from everyday life will help you - and build confidence in yourself that you dont really need anyone but yourself.
Anonymous
He plays counterstrike, which is better :biggrin:


CS sucks :p:

and ive never heard anyone say "i dont need a social life, i have CS" where as many people have said something along those lines about WoW. "i cant go out, my guild needs me!"
As a person who currently has depression, I can't relate to what you're going through. It's very hard just getting through one day at a time.

Why isn't therapy an option? Have you tried CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy)? I had a consultation session, and I'm on the waiting list, and it helped me a lot.

Do you have any hobbies? If not, why not, if possible, try and join some local groups or try something different, such as yoga.

I would also suggest some de-stressing activities such as having a massage. Granted, this can be expensive, but it works wonders :smile: Also, swimming can be very relaxing (unless you can't swim, then it's a slight problem...) and it's cheap :smile:

If you need to vent, please feel free to PM me :smile:
Anonymous
I just need something to rant to, since I have nothing else, here I am.

I'm a mess. I'm 18. I fell out with one of the few friends I've ever had to the point where we're not talking anymore (it's a long story, I feel incredibly guilty about it and I look like the bad guy out of it even if I really didn't intend to do anything wrong. I rarely got to see her anyway, but it still feels like ****).

I very very incredibly rarely go out. I have absolutely nothing to do. I'm all-but-terrified of the place I live, renowned for stabbings and for just being somewhere unpleasant (I'm pretencious and middle class, which doesn't help things). I'm incredibly, horribly shy and not a particularly pleasant person. I struggle with conversations, particularly with girls. It's pathetic. I just spend time inside losing Counterstrike or reading internet forums. I've bearly had a friend in my life, thinking about it, and have been treated like crap by most people who make fun of me for being a loser or whatever.

I feel absolutely useless and completely empty. I have nothing, I have nobody (not even a family or friends anymore). I hate everything, and I'm increasingly removing reasons for me to live. I'm not a fun person to be around. I've suffered from depression for as long as I can remember. I have no way of facing it - I've been on and off the drugs, which I felt didn't help me and therapy isn't an option.

I just don't know what to do anymore. I really, really cannot cope. I'm just sob myself to sleep and I struggle to see that when I finally leave here to go to University that life will be any better, and struggle to see how I will be able to cope for the next 8 weeks with nobody and nothing and no money and nothing to do.

And I know there's nothing you can say that will make me feel better or will help me. It's just I sometimes need an outlet and this is it, 'cause I have no-one I can talk to anymore. Reading this, you probably all think this is a joke or a characature or something, but it really is me.


You should take heart in the fact that when other people compare themselves to you they feel better about their lives.
Reply 38
Shreerac1
You should take heart in the fact that when other people compare themselves to you they feel better about their lives.

lmao, u *****r. But true