Is She Messed Up?

2 months of a relationship came to an end because of religion (sins), Family (culture) and an arranged marriage.
In the short time I was with this girl we had a really close and good time together. We slept with each other many times and although it was long distance we managed to meet around 20 times in 2 months (stay overs).

Anyway from the day we started dating she regreted the first night we slept together, she didnt give me a reason that morning following what happened so I walked off and she came behind me explaining how her family has her already planned for a arranged marriage.
Fair enough I said but she still wanted to be with me and I was happy with that, so we carried on the relationship until 2 weeks back, where things werent working as she was abroad and didnt keep in contact as much and she acted differently.
In the end I found out she was too guilty of all the sin she was commiting with me, letting down her family and she realised after all that time we may spend together more, its going to hurt even more in the future so we should rather end it now as its only been 2 months.

She wanted to be friends so I agreed. Then the next day I told her that would be too difficult (just being friends) so we should go our own seperate ways. She told me if she wasn't religious and her family werent then me and her would have no problem as she still wants to be with me, but it aint about what she wants.
We said our byes but the silence of each other told me there maybe a chance of winning her back, although I don't know why I would want to do this but theres a feeling thats telling me to.

So few hours later I called back and told her look I can't be your friend and u dont want to date me, so lets just see where the future takes us. She agreed aslong as we don't date.

Yesterday was her last day on her holiday so we spoke for around 30mins before she had to go to pack. She mentioned how she shared a taxi with her mates and she sat on this guy (mate of hers) lap, twice as the taxi was over crowded and she was saying how it was a bumpy ride while sitting on hes lap. I don't know why the hell she told me that but I just laughed it off and said 'whats up with that'.
Anyway after we spoke she asked me to call her at 7am if I wanted to which I did but upon calling her she said 'thanx for calling but I got some thigns to do so I will text you my new numba when I arrive at my new destination'.

I was half asleep so I called back 5mins later as I had to tell her about finding out some phone prices at the airport but when I called this time a guy had her phone (she told me previously she was leaveing her phone with a guy as he needed it more then her).

Ok im just really confused about this gal. As in one minute shes talking like shes so religious and wants to be so religious and do good and then next thing shes telling me how shes sitting in her good guy mates lap as the cab was packed out. Aparantly she has a thing for him as she has mentioned him many times and she asked me to check her email once and she mentioned how she was gonna try keeping a distance to not get attracted to him to a friend of hers.

In 2 months shes returning to Heathrow, this is where I will meet her. Originally she was spending the night and then going to her destination in UK but as the story unfolded she is no longer willing to stay the night with me. She told me she might get tempted so I must talk her out of it.

My main purpose of this post is to make sense of all this. I have never bee too good at reading gals thoughts and actions. Maybe some 1 else can?

Reply 1

Adhsur

Yes, she definitely does seem 'messed up' to me. How can she just 'be tempted' to sleep with you like that and just be sitting in a guy's lap (and telling you to make you jealous?) so casually? Sounds like she wants to get as much fun as she can in before she gets married. What happened to all those principles if she can be so cheap though? I feel sorry for whoever she gets married to. Move on, it's only been two months, it's not worth the time and effort. And I do hope you don't try and do anything when she IS married.

Reply 2

David Beckham

Shes running around seeking validation. Becky Loos did that too. Stay well clear of that type.

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

David Beckham

Shes running around seeking validation. Becky Loos did that too. Stay well clear of that type.

Thing is I don't know if she realises what shes doing intentionally until shes done it. I remember on our 3rd date we went ice skating and she asked a random guy to show her how to skate without saying anything to me. She skated with him and the guy saw me so he kind of let her go and then because he may of thought he intruded he started to talk to me and be really friendly. Then she came up to me and I go why did u go up to a random person to ask and she was like she thought he was like the isntructor (because he was very very good at skating). She did say afterwards she regreted it but I dunno if its because I didn't like what she did or because she naturally is dopy.

Reply 4

David Beckham

Anonymous

She doesn't need to be aware she's doing it to do it. She'll just do it because she wants to feel attended to, that she matters in the world. And like a kitten chasing something shiny, she'll jump from stimulus to stimulus. Free yourself from her and get on with stuff! :smile:

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

Adhsur

She did mention to me a few days back when we decided to not date that after she thought about everything clearly she did feel cheap, dirty and like a slag. She empthasised how dirt she felt and wants to play no more role in the sin factor.
Having said all that then she did sit in the guys lap because 6 of them had to share the back seats so 4 of them sat down while another gal sat in the other gals lap and she sat in the guys lap.

Reply 6

A Frumious Bandersnatch!

which religion is she?

if she doesn't want to shag you for religious reasons then you should respect that. seriously - if you're putting what you want ahead of what she wants then you're just thinking of yourself and your cock.

it looks like the only real chance you've got is the marriage route but you'd have to be CRAZy about her...

crazy.

and certain.

good luck my friend.

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

mylastserenade

Mate im not bothered about the sex. I just want her to be myne. She said we can be very close mates but I cant hold her, kiss her or anything that would be acceptable in a relationship even if its a minimum.
Anyway I think shes is a mess about to an extent or just very dopy.

Reply 8

Adhsur

Anonymous

Why the hell was she telling you it was a bumpy ride etc then?? :rolleyes:

And the only reason she felt so slaggy was because she'd obviously been like that.

Reply 9

flutey_tooty

simple - forget her, easier said than done i know =[

x

Reply 10

SuperhansFavouriteAlsatian

Yuh, just ignore her. She sounds mental.

Reply 11

Atomik

This girl sounds like a smug, arrogant [insert expletive here], who thrives on hurting you. Pursuing this relationship any further will almost definitely end in tears on your behalf. You may like her loads, but from what you've told us here, she does not seem like the type of person you should be going after.

In the 2 months that she is on holiday, I suggest you try to move on. Easier said than done, I know, but you do have quite a while to do so. And what's stopping her from 'doing stuff' with guys abroad? Judging by the way you've explained her, she seems like the type of person who would do that.

Good luck.