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How and when did your parent introduce you to their new lover/partner/bf/gf?

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Original post by Alfissti
Yes, that is indeed something I have considered is I rather they find out because I told them about her existence rather than through a 3rd party.



He doesn't play a good daddy role to you?

Do they have other kids?


no he's not one to be trusted tbh. no they don't have kids.

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Original post by Alfissti
Yes, that is indeed something I have considered is I rather they find out because I told them about her existence rather than through a 3rd party.


Do they have other kids?


they will probably be fine about it, my mum has told me several times about dates and things although we are close... I would say my dad did 2 things wrong, firstly not telling the whole truth/lying and secondly not allowing things to progress on OUR terms not his, i.e. we weren't given a choice to meet her or any say in how that meeting would be done and then she jumped straight into being 'mum' and so it caused a lot of bad feeling, I'd say a better way would be to say to your kids they can meet her whenever they are ready and let them dictate when/where/how long for etc and allow them to voice if there's anything they're not happy about

my dad's partner has 3 kids similar age to me and my siblings, we all get on well now but when we first met (as teenagers) there were a lot of bad feelings, competition etc
My dad moved out and went to live with his secretary (who quickly became his girlfriend), so the first time I went to visit him (I was 6) I met her. No idea how I was introduced. Probably something along the lines of "This is *insert her name*"

My mother's boyfriend lives in Turkey so I've never met him. When my mother met him she told me about him pretty much straight away. I was in my mid twenties and couldn't care less if she has a boyfriend - if she's happy, so be it.
I can't remember... I know my mother got pregnant with my sister 5 months into their relationship though, so maybe 3 months after they got together?
Original post by Alfissti
Yes, why?


just made me smile

you been a busy boy :P
Reply 25
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Alfissti
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Original post by jusdorange
just made me smile

you been a busy boy :P


Using my Alfa Romeoes to smoke VW Passats and BMW 320s in my younger days only kept me happy for so long :smile:


Original post by Holby_fanatic
I can't remember... I know my mother got pregnant with my sister 5 months into their relationship though, so maybe 3 months after they got together?


Was that an awkward situation? How old were you then?

Original post by PinkMobilePhone
My dad moved out and went to live with his secretary (who quickly became his girlfriend), so the first time I went to visit him (I was 6) I met her. No idea how I was introduced. Probably something along the lines of "This is *insert her name*"

My mother's boyfriend lives in Turkey so I've never met him. When my mother met him she told me about him pretty much straight away. I was in my mid twenties and couldn't care less if she has a boyfriend - if she's happy, so be it.


A non-event then? Would you have felt the same if it happened in your mid teens rather than mid-20s?

Original post by doodle_333
they will probably be fine about it, my mum has told me several times about dates and things although we are close... I would say my dad did 2 things wrong, firstly not telling the whole truth/lying and secondly not allowing things to progress on OUR terms not his, i.e. we weren't given a choice to meet her or any say in how that meeting would be done and then she jumped straight into being 'mum' and so it caused a lot of bad feeling, I'd say a better way would be to say to your kids they can meet her whenever they are ready and let them dictate when/where/how long for etc and allow them to voice if there's anything they're not happy about


Interesting, to be honest this is something my 2nd and 3rd are dealing with now with their mother as last weekend instead of the ex taking the train over, she made our 2 kids to take the train 9 hours away to see her at her new place. She just met them at the station with her new partner and his kids. It does seem that my 2nd isn't too happy about the situation and made it clear she doesn't want to go there again and yesterday quickly signed up for a class that is on a Saturday morning so she could avoid going on such trips again. I didn't prevent or encourage her to do so just told her she has the funds for it she can do as she pleases. I can tell that whole ordeal did affect her somewhat but haven't quite spoken to her in depth about it.

Original post by doodle_333

my dad's partner has 3 kids similar age to me and my siblings, we all get on well now but when we first met (as teenagers) there were a lot of bad feelings, competition etc


Well her partner has 3 kids that lives with them that are between the ages of 7 and 14. My 2nd didn't quite like any of them, she didn't tell me why or what was the reason behind not liking them.

My girlfriend doesn't have any kids of her own so this isn't much of an issue for me.
(edited 10 years ago)
Original post by Alfissti
Was that an awkward situation? How old were you then?


It was probably awkward for all of two minutes, because the first time I met him was when we all went to a theme park together. I was interested in other stuff. :tongue: I was 8 or 9.
(edited 10 years ago)
Reply 27
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Sherry1993
Original post by donutaud15
she showed up with her new partner and told me to call him 'daddy'

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Just like this, they had another child (my younger sister) Then that ended.
The next one came along after a few strings of lies, they married he cheated, they divorced.
Then the next one (current) introduced as just a friend, thought he seemed okay, although a bit young. Was genuine, seemed the better one out of the rest. Still put up a defence though. Then realised he was decent, so became accepting of the relationship and happy for them. He made a huge difference in the way my mother behaves! Bought a house together and went on to have another child.

The whole thing though is a huge mess really,
Original post by Sherry1993
Just like this, they had another child (my younger sister) Then that ended.
The next one came along after a few strings of lies, they married he cheated, they divorced.
Then the next one (current) introduced as just a friend, thought he seemed okay, although a bit young. Was genuine, seemed the better one out of the rest. Still put up a defence though. Then realised he was decent, so became accepting of the relationship and happy for them. He made a huge difference in the way my mother behaves! Bought a house together and went on to have another child.

The whole thing though is a huge mess really,


sounds similar to my parents tbh

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(edited 10 years ago)
Reply 29
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Sherry1993
Original post by donutaud15
sounds similar to my parents tbh

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I felt like I was the parent at times! Always left picking up the pieces.
Original post by Abdul-Karim
My parents were married when I was born & still are, thank god.


Same here - although I'm not sure how long this will remain the case when my youngest brother goes to uni next year..

--
I have a friend who has three children each to different fathers, and got with her latest partner just over three years ago. From the very start, they were made to call him "Dad" - even though the oldest was 18 at that point so you would have thought it would take a bit more than that! I guess everyone's different, though!
Reply 31
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Alfissti
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Original post by xoxAngel_Kxox
I have a friend who has three children each to different fathers, and got with her latest partner just over three years ago. From the very start, they were made to call him "Dad" - even though the oldest was 18 at that point so you would have thought it would take a bit more than that! I guess everyone's different, though!


Is this calling some other bloke "Dad" all that common in UK? It certainly isn't something common in Nordic countries as usually the mother's new partner is always called by his first name.

I'd probably cringe at someone else's kid calling me dad. Prefer being calling by my name instead.
Original post by Alfissti
Is this calling some other bloke "Dad" all that common in UK? It certainly isn't something common in Nordic countries as usually the mother's new partner is always called by his first name.

I'd probably cringe at someone else's kid calling me dad. Prefer being calling by my name instead.


I don't know about common as such, but I do know of several couples who have that set-up. I always feel sorry for the actual fathers in those situations - especially when they genuinely want to be involved.
Original post by Alfissti
Is this calling some other bloke "Dad" all that common in UK? It certainly isn't something common in Nordic countries as usually the mother's new partner is always called by his first name.

I'd probably cringe at someone else's kid calling me dad. Prefer being calling by my name instead.


I don't call my step-father dad, and I've never been asked to. I don't think it's common.
Original post by Alfissti

A non-event then? Would you have felt the same if it happened in your mid teens rather than mid-20s?


She did get a boyfriend when I was 17. It lasted about 3-4 years but then fizzled out. I was pretty pissed off at the time - not because of her getting a boyfriend, but because I'd be out, and then she'd go out with him and lock the door. So I'd get home and I'd be locked out of the house until she got back, and she refused to let me have a key. It was the cause of many arguments. Also her boyfriend was a rude, obnoxious, pig headed ill-mannered man, but she was too blinded by lust to see it until later, so that caused a little friction between us.

I didn't mind in the slightest that she HAD a boyfriend, but she chose a rubbish one, plus I was sick of being locked out.
Reply 35
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Alfissti
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Original post by PinkMobilePhone
She did get a boyfriend when I was 17. It lasted about 3-4 years but then fizzled out. I was pretty pissed off at the time - not because of her getting a boyfriend, but because I'd be out, and then she'd go out with him and lock the door. So I'd get home and I'd be locked out of the house until she got back, and she refused to let me have a key. It was the cause of many arguments. Also her boyfriend was a rude, obnoxious, pig headed ill-mannered man, but she was too blinded by lust to see it until later, so that caused a little friction between us.

I didn't mind in the slightest that she HAD a boyfriend, but she chose a rubbish one, plus I was sick of being locked out.


What?? You didn't have a key to the house?
Original post by Alfissti
What?? You didn't have a key to the house?


Nope - she didn't give me one until I moved out. Ironic innit.
Reply 37
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Alfissti
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Original post by PinkMobilePhone
Nope - she didn't give me one until I moved out. Ironic innit.


What was her reasoning to not giving you a key?
Original post by Alfissti
What was her reasoning to not giving you a key?


She thought I'd lose it so she said.
Reply 39
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Cll_ws
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My Mum's partner just came over to our house one day to meet us, probably after they'd been dating a couple of months. That was 11 years ago now. And they've had a child of their own in that time, my younger sister who is now 7.

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