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27, Virgin, Always been single, And hate females.

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Reply 60

Anonymous #1

Original post by Machop

Lol, that's either because they are rich or famous. Name me one rich/famous guy that doesn't have a super hot gf/wife.

Admittedly... read my last post directly above this one ^

Get a dog.

If you just reserved the order of your thread title, the answer would present itself.
hate women -> always been single -> virgin

Reply 63

cole-slaw

Original post by Anonymous

In general, you are sort of right in that there are plenty of "ugly" people in relationships.

But seriously, the OP is a 5ft male. It is unimaginable how significant a problem that is. Everyone knows that girls want a taller guy, they admit it themselves. Being 5ft will rule out 99% of the female population.

So whats wrong with the 1 that remain%? How many gfs does OP need?

Reply 64

irfanz11

Original post by johnsonn

Title says it...

Being single is just a normal part of life, just as much as having no self esteem and no self worth, just as much as no girl wanting to kiss you, touch you, or spend time with you...

That to me is life, just deal with it. that's normal, everyone has to put up with ****, this is my ****...

No matter who you go to for help, they always have an opinion. That opinion seams so fake unreal, and almost so offensive because it come from someone who has been fulfilled sexually, emotionally, at least had some sort of embrace of passion.

I used to love hanging out with girls I was raised by so many of them, now. It puts me on edge to be around them unless I'm inebriated in one sense or another. When I can feel free.

Otherwise I hate they way I feel around them, it puts me on edge I feel like I have to constantly be on guard like I'm a business selling its only product and it's either sink or swim... It seams so trivial to you though. What I hate most about me is why is passion embedded so deep in me. I wish I could cut it out get rid of it and live a normal life, but my head is programmed to think this way.

I'm meant to be a man yet I can't go out and get the one thing that my brain is craving, that my hormones crave, that my DNA is telling me to get... I have to suppress all that. It makes me feel like I'm in child in a sea of men, I have no chance. Which makes me feel undesired, unneeded, unwanted, a failure.

I could wait till I get older 30's get a steady job after my degree get a girlfriend, but there this voice in my head saying why couldn't I get a girl 5 yeas ago? is it because they could of done better then? Looks where better then, everyone looks better when they are younger, Is it because they where with guys better looking that me? I feel like I'm gonna be someone who just get left with the leftovers (It sounds vile to talk about a woman like that, I know but its the twisted way my brain thinks) You hear it, I deal with it. I wish I could cut sex/lust/passion/attraction/love out of my brain.

I hate the fact everyone can be so open about it, can run around and have sex so casually it feels like real star-crossed love is dead. But I can not comment. I don't know what love is. And at 27 this scares me the most as much as I don't think I can love properly. I have bad Anxiety, Panic Attacks and Night terrors which I'm almost 99% sure is due to being alone.

I have not been myself for such a long time I don't know what being myself feels like. I have been dead for a while, for so long I feel like I'm not real, because I'm not who I was. I haven't been who i was for 10 years.

I'm not depressed, I'm alone emotionally, physically and sexually. No pill that the doctor tries to prescribe me can fix that.

You really think that getting out more, socializing fixes this? Would socializing fix that fact I'm 5.0ft and unattractive? This feeling been there ever since my hormones switched on forcing me to feel something I can't express. I don't want to end up being one of them 60 year old desperate guy in Thailand going after young girls, I would rather slit my wrists but I feel that's the way I'm going. No one plans to be a drug addict, but bad **** just happens.

My friends don't know this, I am not gonna tell them, they can not replicate or synthesize this feeling. I'm always the one to listen to them and sympathize and be happy, to have fun with. I Would not want them to hear this about me.

I don't know what to do. short, fat and ugly a failure as a man. I couldn't pull a skinny girl in a tug of war, let alone get one to kiss me.

What should I do?

Apart from get a cat....

Hey Johnson,

Hit the gym or workout at home. HONESTLY, the confidence it gives you, not just knowing it looks attractive, but you really do feel manly, meaty and all that good stuff. It will definitely bring up your self worth and esteem. You are not worthless, no one is. So what if you're 5ft, there's always someone better than you, which means you are bound to be taller than some other guys; you're not the shortest.

On the emotional/social aspects, I'm just like you; always there for others but bottle up my own emotions to not burden others. It seems like a good trait but really, it does do you bad when you're hit hard and don't want to worry/bother others. This bottling of emotions even lead to me being depressed for a few months. One thing I can tell you for sure, although you feel good and develop your own personality by helping others, you do need the help of others too. You probably know the solution, but it definitely isn't as reassuring as hearing it from someone else. Also, remember even the closest of people won't be there for you (even if you are for them) all the time, so take time to enjoy your own stuff and not get too caught up in other people's problems. Learn to say 'no' and not always 'yes'. The problem with being too sympathetic and caring is that you can potentially end up worrying more for someone than they do for themselves.

I do know somewhat that 'dead' feeling you mentioned, where you feel numb and feel like you have no purpose in life. The best advice I can give you here is pick up an old hobby, such as playing football, and you will start to rebuild yourself. Perhaps take a gap year and rediscover yourself because the imbalance of this negativity and academic life can be of no benefit and actually worsen your knowledge. If not, find out what is bothering you and try to fix it directly. For me, it was a whole load of things and to escape from everything (including college work), I'd just waste too much time with my family, with no other intentions at all. I felt they were my only place of safety and coping mechanism. Little did I know it was an actual condition, which now after looking at it with hindsight, was depression/burnout which I should of consulted a doctor about. My problem was short term, you mentioned yours has been for several years, which is no good. Luckily, I got over it without medical help, but I regret it because it'd have been much quicker and more effective to have seen a professional. It's so overpowering that you can even feel suicidal at times.

I strongly insist you see a doctor or try one of the above solutions.

Good luck :wink:

Irfan

(edited 10 years ago)

Reply 65

username1372897

OP, don't be such a pathetic coward. Life presents opportunities to be seized by each and everyone of us. It's up to you whether or not you'll be proactive enough to utilise these opportunities. As other people have said, get in to shape. On top of that, I suggest you see a therapist to treat your irrational thoughts. If you still can't court a woman, who gives a ****, life is more than just romance. Make something of yourself.

Reply 66

Riku

Original post by Bassetts

In before all the fake replies like 'you will meet the right girl one day', 'be confident in yourself, looks don't matter' and all the crap that people post.

These are one of those times that no amount of words will ever help your life circumstances. Are you only 5 foot tall? That must be absolutely dreadful for any man. :frown:

Don't be so bitter and cynical Bassets, it ages you far faster than you will realise

Reply 67

Jordooooom

Can't imagine how hard it must be to be 5 ft. I sometimes get made fun of for being 5 ft 8...

Reply 68

Riku

Original post by Scorlibran

As a short male with anxiety and depression, I can relate.

I've sort of resigned myself to the fact that I'll probably just be settled for rather than genuinely chosen, maybe you should do the same.

If you crave intimacy so much just pay for it, love is over-rated.

Mate this is really sad…I hope you think more highly of yourself in years to come :smile:

Reply 69

Riku

Original post by Aivicore

^ I second this (and Toaster Leavings' post, referenced in the above).

TSR is not a great place for realistic relationship advice, so try not to let any of the condemning replies here hurt you.

I understand you've had some bad experiences with meds, but in my eyes something like CBT would be much more beneficial. Get yourself to the GP and straight up ask to be referred for an assessment. You need to develop confidence in yourself, and much as I know you don't want to hear it, that is not going to be derived from getting someone else to fancy or love you (in the long-term, anyway).

Fourthed
It never goes away but in your current state no-one will make you happy, you're trying to fill a void only YOU can fill OP! Take care :smile:

Reply 70

Sharpshooter

Original post by Jordooooom

Can't imagine how hard it must be to be 5 ft. I sometimes get made fun of for being 5 ft 8...

Yep, I'm 5'7.5 and I feel too short for the vast vast majority of todays women.

I have a lot of respect for guys who are shorter than me and are successful at dating. Those guys obviously have a lot more going for them than I have. :tongue:

Reply 71

Kormpippa

Not all women care so much about height, as they appear to on tsr. Going to the gym isn't going to fix your mind set either, it may bring you confidence but deep down it has to come from within to feel better about yourself. If you want to change only you can do it. Do not put women on a pedestal they are just normal people, but then don't be afraid of them either. People are designed to socialise so majority of people don't like feeling alone and probably want to talk to you just as much as you want to talk to them. Educate yourself and become a great conversationist.
Life is way too short to worry about trivial things and how people react to you. Learn to enjoy spending time with yourself rather than breeding hate and contempt. Be kind to others and make them laugh. Stop worrying and enjoy the short time we have on this earth.

Posted from TSR Mobile

Reply 72

Riku

Original post by johnsonn

Hi OP

I am going to advise therapy considering how low your self-esteem is currently, changing your looks won't change that. Give it a try.
In life there are only two things you can do with problems-change them or accept them. They never go away. You can't change your height (except by surgery, and I suggest you don't) but you CAN change other things. Such as your attitude.
I know it is reallllly hard when you're on an all-time low and I don't mean to make you suck eggs since you're older than me anyway…but it can really help turn your fortunes around when you start focussing on the good stuff. Both the stuff you can be grateful for, and the strengths and qualities you bring to the table. Everyone has them. :smile:

I can't really advise you on getting laid :P however, you might recognise you are somewhat obsessed with finding someone to 'fix' you. Unfortunately relationships rarely work like that. For a person to love the true you-which I can guarantee is not the bitter, cynical and self-deprecating man in the OP-you need to love yourself first. It takes time.

I second MoodGYM, a good online CBT programme to combat toxic thoughts. I need to go back to it myself.

Finally, don't forget, a guy your height conquered Europe for a decade of the 19th century :biggrin:

Reply 73

Anonymous #3

I think you lack confidence, if you feel good on the inside it will reflect on the outside. Try not to actually worry about finding a girl friend or thinking bad things about yourself, think about what you do like about yourself and enhance that. Live life with your friends, go out and party. There is more to life than girls :smile:

Reply 74

spiral87

I wouldn't mind knowing why the OP has signed up to a new account to post this. I have valuable advice to give as someone who retained their V until 26 and then became a recent hit with the opposite sex, but I'm not wasting my time typing it all out if this is a troll post.

Reply 75

Picnic1

I notice that you say ''m 5.0ft and unattractive'. Forget height (there are some very handsome shortish people).

If that's true that you partly only have your family's genes to blame (your parents should have kept their organs to themselves) or maybe you don't dress or groom too well?

Now just imagine how much more terrible it would be if you were highly handsome and no woman showed interest in you.
Then there would be a real reason to hate all women for being hurtful just because they can.

As it is, you're making our that they are all making is a perfectly reasonable aesthetic judgement.

That said, I agree with the general gist of all you say. I'm even older and although not a virgin I have never had a girlfriend.

I guess/ hope that you are underplaying your actual physical attractiveness because I don't personally believe that anyone can be erudite as you are and not have some physical attractiveness as well.

(edited 10 years ago)

Reply 76

Picnic1

Original post by Infiniteinsanity

Now I shall take the opportunity ,as you say we should, to say that you are a baboon!

If someone would be a catch for anyone then the women should do the proactivity bit.
This is partly why the male suicide rate is so high.

Women have enjoyed the benefits of feminism and the benefits of still clinging to whichever old fashioned ideals they decide suits them.

They wait around for men to ask them out and, as a result, however ugly or dumb those males are, they go out with them.

They imagine that any male who doesn't ask them out is gay, weird or 'just wasn't meant to be'.

Girls are responsible for nothing short of the extermination of the better parts of the male gene pool! Some even have to join the army to get attention and get killed before they get a chance with the opposite sex!

Reply 77

NathanW18

I'm laughing at the people that say height doesn't matter. The OP is not just a little below average. He is extremely below average. Most women are taller than him. The vast majority don't want to date a shorter guy. He is also unattractive. He's been dealt a very bad hand. A guy like this will find it hard to build confidence. You gain that from positive experiences. Being a 27 year old guy and having no experience, while also having the negatives that he does is going to make things extremely difficult.

You also have to take into consideration his own standards. He is going to want to date somebody that he's attracted to. It's not as if he will want to date any woman that decides that she likes him or will settle for him. Unless he becomes desperate enough in the future. I guess that could happen. There are guys that have deformities and other awful things that have gotten into relationships. That's great, but it doesn't mean that it's a simple task and do-able for everybody.

Also, posting about short celebrities being successful is stupid. They have social status, money and confidence. When you have all of these things, your appearances means far less. Regular guys don't follow the same rules as a guy in the public eye.

Reply 78

username1372897

Original post by Picnic1

I didn't say I am in support of the social norms, if anything I am absolutely disgusted by human courtship. I was just trying to cater to OP's perspective.

Reply 79

username1347185

Start to love yourself, get invested into something you enjoy and start living. Once you've started to appreciate yourself it will allow others to do the same.