Don't want to confuse him? :(
Basically, I've been with my boyfriend for about a month, and he's the 2nd boyfriend I've had total (I'm 20, he's 22).
To put this in perspective a little bit, we've known each other for over a year, so started off as friends first before recently getting into a relationship. So I suppose in that case, because of the familiarity, we sorta ditched the whole "dating" process and just established this as a relationship and went from there.
However, I've had next to no experience in this stuff (first boyfriend lasted less than 4 months...) and I'm afraid I may be jumping the gun on some things, so to speak.
Like, we haven't had sex, yet I could say almost everything up to that point. However, I feel like things have progressed too quickly for my liking and now it's too late to turn back.
Basically, I don't want my boyfriend to think that I'm just teasing him to not "put out" (He's already said a couple times that he wanted to go all the way). Like, we've gone all this way now, so quickly, I don't want him to think I'm just messing around or flip-flopping back and forth.
But at the same time, I know I'm not ready for that yet. Or even some of the stuff we usually engage in. Yeah, making out is nice and all. But sometimes I just want to lay down and cuddle for a bit while watching a movie.
Now, my boyfriend's a lovely guy (Don't want people getting the wrong impression
) And probably just has the "Sexual urges" that a normal guy at his age would. I feel I may've just gotten a tad overwhelmed and now trying to find out a way to calm things down without seeming I've lost interest or something.
To put this in perspective a little bit, we've known each other for over a year, so started off as friends first before recently getting into a relationship. So I suppose in that case, because of the familiarity, we sorta ditched the whole "dating" process and just established this as a relationship and went from there.
However, I've had next to no experience in this stuff (first boyfriend lasted less than 4 months...) and I'm afraid I may be jumping the gun on some things, so to speak.
Like, we haven't had sex, yet I could say almost everything up to that point. However, I feel like things have progressed too quickly for my liking and now it's too late to turn back.
Basically, I don't want my boyfriend to think that I'm just teasing him to not "put out" (He's already said a couple times that he wanted to go all the way). Like, we've gone all this way now, so quickly, I don't want him to think I'm just messing around or flip-flopping back and forth.
But at the same time, I know I'm not ready for that yet. Or even some of the stuff we usually engage in. Yeah, making out is nice and all. But sometimes I just want to lay down and cuddle for a bit while watching a movie.
Now, my boyfriend's a lovely guy (Don't want people getting the wrong impression
) And probably just has the "Sexual urges" that a normal guy at his age would. I feel I may've just gotten a tad overwhelmed and now trying to find out a way to calm things down without seeming I've lost interest or something.
If this relationship is going to work at all you need to know how to talk to each other and understand each other. Talk to him about it. Explain that you are inexperienced and don't feel ready to go any further, say what you said here about how you don't want him to think you're teasing. Any reasonable person would be understanding and give you the time you need 
Also you don't need to do things you don't feel comfortable with to satisfy each other.
Also you don't need to do things you don't feel comfortable with to satisfy each other.
(edited 10 years ago)
Original post by Loka_94
Basically, I've been with my boyfriend for about a month, and he's the 2nd boyfriend I've had total (I'm 20, he's 22).
To put this in perspective a little bit, we've known each other for over a year, so started off as friends first before recently getting into a relationship. So I suppose in that case, because of the familiarity, we sorta ditched the whole "dating" process and just established this as a relationship and went from there.
However, I've had next to no experience in this stuff (first boyfriend lasted less than 4 months...) and I'm afraid I may be jumping the gun on some things, so to speak.
Like, we haven't had sex, yet I could say almost everything up to that point. However, I feel like things have progressed too quickly for my liking and now it's too late to turn back.
Basically, I don't want my boyfriend to think that I'm just teasing him to not "put out" (He's already said a couple times that he wanted to go all the way). Like, we've gone all this way now, so quickly, I don't want him to think I'm just messing around or flip-flopping back and forth.
But at the same time, I know I'm not ready for that yet. Or even some of the stuff we usually engage in. Yeah, making out is nice and all. But sometimes I just want to lay down and cuddle for a bit while watching a movie.
Now, my boyfriend's a lovely guy (Don't want people getting the wrong impression) And probably just has the "Sexual urges" that a normal guy at his age would. I feel I may've just gotten a tad overwhelmed and now trying to find out a way to calm things down without seeming I've lost interest or something.
To put this in perspective a little bit, we've known each other for over a year, so started off as friends first before recently getting into a relationship. So I suppose in that case, because of the familiarity, we sorta ditched the whole "dating" process and just established this as a relationship and went from there.
However, I've had next to no experience in this stuff (first boyfriend lasted less than 4 months...) and I'm afraid I may be jumping the gun on some things, so to speak.
Like, we haven't had sex, yet I could say almost everything up to that point. However, I feel like things have progressed too quickly for my liking and now it's too late to turn back.
Basically, I don't want my boyfriend to think that I'm just teasing him to not "put out" (He's already said a couple times that he wanted to go all the way). Like, we've gone all this way now, so quickly, I don't want him to think I'm just messing around or flip-flopping back and forth.
But at the same time, I know I'm not ready for that yet. Or even some of the stuff we usually engage in. Yeah, making out is nice and all. But sometimes I just want to lay down and cuddle for a bit while watching a movie.
Now, my boyfriend's a lovely guy (Don't want people getting the wrong impression
) And probably just has the "Sexual urges" that a normal guy at his age would. I feel I may've just gotten a tad overwhelmed and now trying to find out a way to calm things down without seeming I've lost interest or something.Why don't you tell him what you just told the rest of the world
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Original post by Old_Simon
You seem to have a huge urge to be in control and to drive him crazy. You are a tease. A month is way too long. I hope he dumps you.
Well that escalated quickly...
Original post by Loka_94
...
Stop doing things that you do not feel comfortable doing.
Tell him what you are happy/not happy with.
Actually have a conversation about this!
Original post by desdemonata
If this relationship is going to work at all you need to know how to talk to each other and understand each other. Talk to him about it. Explain that you are inexperienced and don't feel ready to go any further, say what you said here about how you don't want him to think you're teasing. Any reasonable person would be understanding and give you the time you need
Also you don't need to do things you don't feel comfortable with to satisfy each other.
Also you don't need to do things you don't feel comfortable with to satisfy each other.
More words of wisdom from Desdemonata. OP: follow this advice!
I would add that given that you've known each other for a year and have been together for a month, it's not unusual or concerning that your boyfriend would want to take things to the next level. It's important you talk to him so that he understands your perspective - it would be easy for him to misinterpret your hesitancy as coolness towards him, which would be a shame since it really isn't the case.
Original post by Old_Simon
You seem to have a huge urge to be in control and to drive him crazy. You are a tease. A month is way too long. I hope he dumps you.
Ouch! Exactly the opposite of my intentions
And is a month really too long??Original post by Lotus_Eater
More words of wisdom from Desdemonata. OP: follow this advice!
I would add that given that you've known each other for a year and have been together for a month, it's not unusual or concerning that your boyfriend would want to take things to the next level. It's important you talk to him so that he understands your perspective - it would be easy for him to misinterpret your hesitancy as coolness towards him, which would be a shame since it really isn't the case.
I would add that given that you've known each other for a year and have been together for a month, it's not unusual or concerning that your boyfriend would want to take things to the next level. It's important you talk to him so that he understands your perspective - it would be easy for him to misinterpret your hesitancy as coolness towards him, which would be a shame since it really isn't the case.
The only thing I was really worried about...didn't want anything to be misinterpreted.
But I suppose that the only way for that to happen would be to talk to him about it (which, I'll admit, I'm not the best at these type of conversations
). But I'll talk to him about it...guess right now, I was just trying to figure out exactly what I was and wasn't "comfortable" with? In retrospect, the solution seems quite self-explanatory
all you need to do is talk to him about how your feeling and he should understand that your not ready and wait for you, if he doesn't then he doesn't respect your feelings and he's not worth your time
just talk to him face to face about it and it will be sorted in no time and you'll know where you stand
just talk to him face to face about it and it will be sorted in no time and you'll know where you stand
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