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How do people get into new relationship while having feelings for their ex?

I am scared of getting into a relationship with someone that still has feelings for the ex. Anyone feel the same?

I've been reading a lot recently of people that never get over their ex and it scared me. It scared me that in the future I might be in a serious relationship with someone or even marry someone that still deep down has SOME feelings for his ex. And even HE might not know it.
I have never been in a relationship before so I don't know anything about breaking up or getting over someone. How does it work? Do people get into new relationships before they've completely gotten over their previous one? Do people stay in new relationships knowing that they still have some feelings for their ex? Does their new partner know?
Its all just so scary to me. I don't really have a specific question I guess...I just want to understand more.

I guess what scares me the most is some people never get over their exes yet go on to have a family. Isn't that unfair on their new partner? I'm scared of being with someone like that and not even realising it.

Reply 1

Cryinglightning

I think in many ways being with someone new helps to get over your ex. Personally I started dating my current boyfriend 4 months after my ex broke up with me. They have very different personality types and I think if they were more similar it would remind me of my ex more, but since they aren't it helped me to move on. I agree it would be unfair on a new partner if someone never got over their ex but at the same time holding off from relationships probably wouldn't help the situation

Reply 2

Riku

I'm in the same boat but I'm not dating for a few months as I'm heartbroken and would rather just focus on studies. At the end of this year I might start casual dating. At some point you need to let go and have trust in someone else but that is sooo much easier said than done, and I have no experience of its success yet :P
so I wish you all the best :hugs: