The Student Room Group

22, lonely, virgin

I'm a 22 year old female, I've never been in a relationship and I'm desperate for affection. I feel very lonely and sometimes I find myself hugging pillows pretending it's a man :smile: I just want to be held and kissed like anyone else and I'm envious of people who have that happiness.
Obviously I'm not attractive at all and most men won't give me a second look, except for a few creepy ones. It's becoming a real problem and I'm very embarrassed about it. It's not normal at my age to be a virgin and I keep thinking there's something wrong with me but there's nothing I can do to change that. I have an odd face and my mouth points downwards unless I'm smiling so most of the time I look miserable, even though it's just my "neutral" face. Except from plastic surgery and magically growing a few inches (I'm only 4 ft 10) I don't see that there's much I can do. :frown:

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Reply 1
that smily face at the beginning was meant to be a sad face.
Original post by Anonymous
I'm a 22 year old female, I've never been in a relationship and I'm desperate for affection. I feel very lonely and sometimes I find myself hugging pillows pretending it's a man :smile: I just want to be held and kissed like anyone else and I'm envious of people who have that happiness.
Obviously I'm not attractive at all and most men won't give me a second look, except for a few creepy ones. It's becoming a real problem and I'm very embarrassed about it. It's not normal at my age to be a virgin and I keep thinking there's something wrong with me but there's nothing I can do to change that. I have an odd face and my mouth points downwards unless I'm smiling so most of the time I look miserable, even though it's just my "neutral" face. Except from plastic surgery and magically growing a few inches (I'm only 4 ft 10) I don't see that there's much I can do. :frown:


Firstly, :console:

Secondly, it's not that uncommon to be a virgin at your age. There are plenty of people who are in a similar position to you, so don't get too down about it. Have you got close friends you can talk to and who can show you affection?

I'm sure you're not as bad as you think :redface:
Go pull in a club if that's enough for you ,

Work on your appearance and all the usual stuff

If you want a partner your just going to have to wait it out im afraid , internet dating perhaps ?
Reply 4
Technically you could be classified as a dwarf. However i think that you should be more confident with yourself no guy wants a girl who keeps on asking for attention by putting herself down, its annoying. As for having sex any guy will be willing to do it.
Reply 5
Original post by Solivagant
Firstly, :console:

Secondly, it's not that uncommon to be a virgin at your age. There are plenty of people who are in a similar position to you, so don't get too down about it. Have you got close friends you can talk to and who can show you affection?

I'm sure you're not as bad as you think :redface:


I haven't got anyone I'm close to. believe me, I am that bad. life has not been kind to me.
Original post by Anonymous
I haven't got anyone I'm close to. believe me, I am that bad. life has not been kind to me.


Well if you ever wanted just someone to chat to there'll be plenty of people on here who'd talk to you :h:

Try to chin up, if you start feeling better about yourself I'm sure you'll make a lot of progress.
Reply 7
Original post by Jaegon Targaryen
Go pull in a club if that's enough for you ,

Work on your appearance and all the usual stuff

If you want a partner your just going to have to wait it out im afraid , internet dating perhaps ?


Club? She said wants affection....not having guys grind all up on her.
Reply 8
Original post by YourDeath
Technically you could be classified as a dwarf. However i think that you should be more confident with yourself no guy wants a girl who keeps on asking for attention by putting herself down, its annoying. As for having sex any guy will be willing to do it.


dwarfs have heads and limbs that are not proportionate to their body. I could be classified as a midget. no man wants a midget.
Reply 9
Original post by Hazard17
Club? She said wants affection....not having guys grind all up on her.


this tbh.
Original post by Hazard17
Club? She said wants affection....not having guys grind all up on her.


lol but if she wants to get laid it is efficient at least
It's more important that you're happy about / with yourself. That person that you see in the mirror every single morning. Just because you haven't lost your virginity and haven't got a man, that doesn't mean SQUAT. Many attractive people, who may have vile personalities or simply confidence issues, are also in your situation. Naturally.

You're only as ugly as you accept.

You're only as beautiful as you accept.

Our opinions shouldn't matter, nor should statistics of how many A.) or B.) you've got or done.

When you're truly happy in your own skin, you'll find that love is easier to come by. As ALL things will seem.

:smile:

Good luck!
Reply 12
Original post by Anonymous
this tbh.


Im sure this is just a phase, you should go out with friends more often, meeting up with people etc. Going out and being around with friends will make you forget about all of this, as well as increasing your chances of meeting someone who likes you
Reply 13
Original post by Jaegon Targaryen
lol but if she wants to get laid it is efficient at least


haha touche.
Reply 14
Original post by Anonymous
I'm a 22 year old female, I've never been in a relationship and I'm desperate for affection. I feel very lonely and sometimes I find myself hugging pillows pretending it's a man :smile: I just want to be held and kissed like anyone else and I'm envious of people who have that happiness.
Obviously I'm not attractive at all and most men won't give me a second look, except for a few creepy ones. It's becoming a real problem and I'm very embarrassed about it. It's not normal at my age to be a virgin and I keep thinking there's something wrong with me but there's nothing I can do to change that. I have an odd face and my mouth points downwards unless I'm smiling so most of the time I look miserable, even though it's just my "neutral" face. Except from plastic surgery and magically growing a few inches (I'm only 4 ft 10) I don't see that there's much I can do. :frown:


OP, go to gym or pick up a hobby to meet people. You should try to take the initiative sometime, guys feel good when a girl takes interest in them :smile:

If you go to gym and work hard, you will feel better about yourself and have more confidence :smile:
Reply 15
Original post by EarthlingyThingy
It's more important that you're happy about / with yourself. That person that you see in the mirror every single morning. Just because you haven't lost your virginity and haven't got a man, that doesn't mean SQUAT. Many attractive people, who may have vile personalities or simply confidence issues, are also in your situation. Naturally.

You're only as ugly as you accept.

You're only as beautiful as you accept.

Our opinions shouldn't matter, nor should statistics of how many A.) or B.) you've got or done.

When you're truly happy in your own skin, you'll find that love is easier to come by. As ALL things will seem.

:smile:

Good luck!


but how am I meant to feel good about myself if no one else likes me?
Reply 16
Original post by Hazard17
Im sure this is just a phase, you should go out with friends more often, meeting up with people etc. Going out and being around with friends will make you forget about all of this, as well as increasing your chances of meeting someone who likes you


a phase? but surely it's only natural to want human contact, the kind that can't be replaced by a vibrator or a quick shag in the toilets. I don't think theres going to come a point where I don't want that anymore. it's a basic need.
Original post by Anonymous
but how am I meant to feel good about myself if no one else likes me?


I like you :colondollar:
Forget about what is normal in terms of age etc. The best thing you can do is give yourself a makeover to improve your confidence e.g have a look in the mirror...are you making the best of yourself. When that is done you have to start putting yourself out there. Either with friends. Or join a club/do volunteering etc.
Oh and also I am lonely too so you aren't alone in that feeling :smile:
Original post by Anonymous
but how am I meant to feel good about myself if no one else likes me?


Stop caring what people think of you.

I know this is ALL easier than it sounds.

I've gone through this exact same process.

Lets use me as an example. I hated how I looked, so never made much effort to dress well or act well. I was constantly the outsider guy who noone knew or cared about the opinions of. And thus, I actually developed few opinions of my own anyway. I gave up. My assumption that they thought as little of me, as I thought of me, SHAPED me.

But, over time, I stopped caring. I slowly started to speak about my opinions. Wear what I wanted, say what I wanted. By myself. This is the KEY to happiness.

Now they can a clear and true picture of who I am. I never considered myself to simply be'ugly', but everyone has some part of their body that depresses them. Everyone has that. But they stop caring what others think and, thus, they stop caring about the 'issue' thwas was self-created.

When you look in the mirror, ask yourself WHY you consider yourself to be ugly.

And then stop lying to yourself. Because it cannot be the truth.

Why?

Because the truth can only set you free.

Not depress you for the rest of your life, making you unhappy and post on TSR as though WE - a bunch of randoms - have the answer to YOUR self-created problems.

You're more powerful than we are!!!

Sorry if I went on a bit. I get a bit passionate.

:smile::biggrin:

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