Guy in friendship group is starting to creep me out.

We were talking about guys we'd like and I made a point that I only really go for them around my age etc.... Then later on he'd started trying to match what I'd said, like saying he only had a mental age of 21 (he dropped out of university the first time round about 20 then spent the next ten years living at his parents doing pretty much nothing)

Or at least make me really uncomfortable. I'll try and explain as briefly as I can.

I'm in a complicated friend group, with a range of ages (partly due to the structure of the course) I'm on of the youngest at 20, and he one of the oldest at about 30. Never really a problem, everyone gets on fine though there is a slight age split due to home life differences etc... except hes kind of latched himself onto me. Didn't think anything of it to begin with and outwardly he's very friendly but as its gone hes started to creep me out.

I think he likes me. He pretty much asked me out for dinner and I said no, it was awkward at first but I thought we got past it. He's just not my type and never will be. Recently though its started getting weird. Like he keeps complementing me and to over people in front of me. He seems like hes cataloging everything I tell him as he can list things I don't even remember saying (in a way that goes beyond normal just taking an interest). He makes assumptions about my life and what which he then relays onto other people (he taken to think I hate my little sisters and has made a couple of incredibly offensive remarks about them).

He's also started speaking for me, and almost acting like we're in a pair? Like if we're all in the group he'll say something like "me and (my name) are going to do this". If someone asks me a question like what questions are you doing, he'll reply over me. Even something like, 'oh your hair looks nice', he'll reply first saying he likes it. He say'll things like she doesn't use Facebook or text to people if they ask me for my number/to message them just because I try not to him.

He's also started insisting on things practically trying to force me to do things.Like if I mention a dental or doctors appointment he'll insist on being there and won't take no for an answer. We had a project do do recently and he insisted on helping me then tried to write the thing for me. It's the age thing more than anything. He's just too old for me and he's an incredibly dominant person where as I need independence.

I don't know what to do. I've tried distancing myself i.e. not texting, make of point of talking to others in the group but it's complicated. We all meet up for study sessions and its quite close knit, and its difficult when hes about to extract myself from him but I don't want to leave the group because the others are great and I'd see them all day to day anyway . About alking to others, I don't know if they've picked up on anything as he's incredibly friendly. It's just putting all the little things together. I don't if I'm overreacting but I just don't know what to do

OP you are not over reacting. Please have more faith in your opinions and trust your gut instinct, if something feels uncomfortable or wrong then there is a reason for it (in your case as you've identified controlling and obsessive behaviour, crossing boundaries, not taking no for an answer). Its understandable that the friendship group dynamics make things difficult for you to deal with as understandably to don't want to cause ripples especially as you mention this person is so friendly thus have people turn against you or accuse you of stirring trouble. Put yourself first and be firm with him.

If you have to be a bitch and end up offending him so be it - he had this coming if he refuses to recognize and respect your individual thoughts and feelings. Also it is inadvisable to try to 'fix' him or show him the error of his ways through rational dialogue; think about it, after the way he has been behaving do you really think he will change his behaviour or suddenly have an epiphany of self awareness that hasn't surfaced to date? And for the love of all things sane ignore people who minimize this as a poor guy just having a crush on you. People who have crushes don't act like this especially at the ripe age of 30.

I'll give telling someone else a shot. It's just difficult to explain the group dynamic over the internet and I'm worried that'll it'll just come across as what are you on about type of thing. He is a really nice/friendly person, I just felt increasinly uncomfortable around him and finally thought it all out and firgured it out tonight. I'm not sure if anyone else will pick up on it.

I'm in a similar situation too, I'm 19 and he's like I dunno mid 20's.

Recently I went to my tutor at college and told her about it because I was starting to feel very uncomfortable about it. The first day we met he followed me home and I being shy was too polite to ask him to leave me alone. Today he came round to my house uninvited and expected me to let him in, which of course I didn't. Made me very uneasy.

In college he speaks over me when I try to speak assuming he knows what I want to say, obviously he doesn't. He also comments on my body "men don't usually like...." and for some reason he also thinks he can comment on my family, which I find quite upsetting and uncalled for. I recently got all my uni offers back and I got an offer from my first choice and was over the moon, he then tried telling me not to firm it because I 'wouldn't like it'..

I suggest you tell someone like a tutor or teacher or whatever and try and get something sorted. He's making you uncomfortable and you shouldn't have to deal with it.