Women: please tell me exactly what is wrong with me.
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Original post by Abstraction
Ego stroking? Where does he try to ego stroke? If anything he's always making self-deprecating threads on here. Granted, his posting is quite excessive but the guy's probably just lonely, which I totally understand. Have some empathy, you didn't need to be so harsh.
Posted from TSR Mobile
Posted from TSR Mobile
Way to not understand my point.
He makes these threads on purpose for attention by being "self depreciating".
Its like some powerlifter coming up to other powerlifters and saying, "hey guys is a 400kg deadlift weak?"
"how about a 350kb back squat?"
That is pure attention whoring, but done by a man. He knows what is up and yet he still keeps on asking. Its so obvious its painfully so.
Original post by TSRgawdlike
Way to not understand my point.
He makes these threads on purpose for attention by being "self depreciating".
Its like some powerlifter coming up to other powerlifters and saying, "hey guys is a 400kg deadlift weak?"
"how about a 350kb back squat?"
That is pure attention whoring, but done by a man. He knows what is up and yet he still keeps on asking. Its so obvious its painfully so.
He makes these threads on purpose for attention by being "self depreciating".
Its like some powerlifter coming up to other powerlifters and saying, "hey guys is a 400kg deadlift weak?"
"how about a 350kb back squat?"
That is pure attention whoring, but done by a man. He knows what is up and yet he still keeps on asking. Its so obvious its painfully so.
I was hoping this thread would get objective responses-I got one, 'you're too needy'-good, a problem to resolve.
I can think of others-I'm being irresponsible, perhaps I am self absorbed.
Wasn't supposed to be a massive pity party-if I am irresponsible, I work to rectify it.
Last I heard I was irresponsible to a lot of people's feelings who I thought I'd taken into account, but have apparently not. That hurts because before I had this problem I tried to help as many as I could
Original post by yo radical one
3. Not at all, just how you are obsessed with getting a first, living up to being as successful as your brother etc most people don't really care to nearly that level, or if they do, it doesn't crush them if they don't attain that.
4. You clearly think about yourself a lot (in the literal sense rather than you being a selfish person) but I get the impression that it's because you are afraid others won't accept you or like you, if you're not "superman", to use a word you have used before.
4. You clearly think about yourself a lot (in the literal sense rather than you being a selfish person) but I get the impression that it's because you are afraid others won't accept you or like you, if you're not "superman", to use a word you have used before.
Well someone has implied that what I say is the essence of selfishness-even when I'm saying it in semi-privacy on the mental health forum. Another has said I'm just attention seeking. But they didn't know how selfish I felt even going to the doctors, or asking for an early night, or to not drin k (when it would make my friends happy) etc.
Original post by Xyloid
I agree with a lot of this.
I've also noticed that you look around at what the majority of people do in society, label it correct because the majority do it, and then ask yourself whats wrong with you because it doesn't appeal to you. It's silly.
You need to stop caring about what other people think of you. You adjust yourself to be uncomfortable in order to keep up with others when all it does is make you miserable. Start doing what you want to do. Be selfish and make your own life happier and easier.
I've also noticed that you look around at what the majority of people do in society, label it correct because the majority do it, and then ask yourself whats wrong with you because it doesn't appeal to you. It's silly.
You need to stop caring about what other people think of you. You adjust yourself to be uncomfortable in order to keep up with others when all it does is make you miserable. Start doing what you want to do. Be selfish and make your own life happier and easier.
I hate being selfish. Or at least hated it. And yet people have told me that I'm exactly that. maybe they are right
How mant things advice wise have you started to try and implement?
How many from your other threads?
What should you do?
1, gtfo tsr, ask for a perma ban or something because you seem to lack the capability to stay off using your own will.
2. Ask for more therapy/to see your therapist more often/for a different kind of therpaist. If that isnt possible using the nhs, ask uni, ask Mind, ask a charity-google ones close to you.
3. Stop asking people to do the leg work for you. You want to fix yourself? You need to do it, no amount of advice from random people on the net will help you move forward if you are unwilling to look up the ideas given, or look into the advice offered. You lack self esteem? Look up confidence building classes, its that simple. Lots of courses can be done over the internet now, including mindfulness.
4. Stop obsessing over your ex and her friend, stop obsessing over what your friends think of you, use all that time you spend obsessing into looking into bettering yourself, to getting help and to working on your issues.
5. Stop using your mh issues as an excuse. Look up the definition of 'reason' and then 'excuse'. Yes your mh issues are a reason that make lofe genrally harder but you keep using them as a barrier not to help yourself aka as an excuse.
6. This is an optional one. Get a hobby. You dont know what to do? Look up sports clubs/groups in your area, try one out. If you dont like it, try something else. You find something you like, it will build your confidence.
This is all stuff a therapist would say but would more than likely pussyfoot around the issue because theyd be unaware how often you post here, how self depreciating you are and just how much you use your problems as excuses.
You dont have to do all at once at once and some you need to start doing asap. You want to change, you need to start it, you need to stop looking for validation from outside and build your own.
How many from your other threads?
What should you do?
1, gtfo tsr, ask for a perma ban or something because you seem to lack the capability to stay off using your own will.
2. Ask for more therapy/to see your therapist more often/for a different kind of therpaist. If that isnt possible using the nhs, ask uni, ask Mind, ask a charity-google ones close to you.
3. Stop asking people to do the leg work for you. You want to fix yourself? You need to do it, no amount of advice from random people on the net will help you move forward if you are unwilling to look up the ideas given, or look into the advice offered. You lack self esteem? Look up confidence building classes, its that simple. Lots of courses can be done over the internet now, including mindfulness.
4. Stop obsessing over your ex and her friend, stop obsessing over what your friends think of you, use all that time you spend obsessing into looking into bettering yourself, to getting help and to working on your issues.
5. Stop using your mh issues as an excuse. Look up the definition of 'reason' and then 'excuse'. Yes your mh issues are a reason that make lofe genrally harder but you keep using them as a barrier not to help yourself aka as an excuse.
6. This is an optional one. Get a hobby. You dont know what to do? Look up sports clubs/groups in your area, try one out. If you dont like it, try something else. You find something you like, it will build your confidence.
This is all stuff a therapist would say but would more than likely pussyfoot around the issue because theyd be unaware how often you post here, how self depreciating you are and just how much you use your problems as excuses.
You dont have to do all at once at once and some you need to start doing asap. You want to change, you need to start it, you need to stop looking for validation from outside and build your own.
(edited 10 years ago)
Original post by Nell90
How mant things advice wise have you started to try and implement?
How many from your other threads?
What should you do?
1, gtfo tsr, ask for a perma ban or something because you seem to lack the capability to stay off using your own will.
2. Ask for more therapy/to see your therapist more often/for a different kind of therpaist. If that isnt possible using the nhs, ask uni, ask Mind, ask a charity-google ones close to you.
3. Stop asking people to do the leg work for you. You want to fix yourself? You need to do it, no amount of advice from random people on the net will help you move forward if you are unwilling to look up the ideas given, or look into the advice offered. You lack self esteem? Look up confidence building classes, its that simple. Lots of courses can be done over the internet now, including mindfulness.
4. Stop obsessing over your ex and her friend, stop obsessing over what your friends think of you, use all that time you spend obsessing into looking into bettering yourself, to getting help and to working on your issues.
5. Stop using your mh issues as an excuse. Look up the definition of 'reason' and then 'excuse'. Yes your mh issues are a reason that make lofe genrally harder but you keep using them as a barrier not to help yourself aka as an excuse.
6. This is an optional one. Get a hobby. You dont know what to do? Look up sports clubs/groups in your area, try one out. If you dont like it, try something else. You find something you like, it will build your confidence.
This is all stuff a therapist would say but would more than likely pussyfoot around the issue because theyd be unaware how often you post here, how self depreciating you are and just how much you use your problems as excuses.
You dont have to do all at once at once and some you need to start doing asap. You want to change, you need to start it, you need to stop looking for validation from outside and build your own.
How many from your other threads?
What should you do?
1, gtfo tsr, ask for a perma ban or something because you seem to lack the capability to stay off using your own will.
2. Ask for more therapy/to see your therapist more often/for a different kind of therpaist. If that isnt possible using the nhs, ask uni, ask Mind, ask a charity-google ones close to you.
3. Stop asking people to do the leg work for you. You want to fix yourself? You need to do it, no amount of advice from random people on the net will help you move forward if you are unwilling to look up the ideas given, or look into the advice offered. You lack self esteem? Look up confidence building classes, its that simple. Lots of courses can be done over the internet now, including mindfulness.
4. Stop obsessing over your ex and her friend, stop obsessing over what your friends think of you, use all that time you spend obsessing into looking into bettering yourself, to getting help and to working on your issues.
5. Stop using your mh issues as an excuse. Look up the definition of 'reason' and then 'excuse'. Yes your mh issues are a reason that make lofe genrally harder but you keep using them as a barrier not to help yourself aka as an excuse.
6. This is an optional one. Get a hobby. You dont know what to do? Look up sports clubs/groups in your area, try one out. If you dont like it, try something else. You find something you like, it will build your confidence.
This is all stuff a therapist would say but would more than likely pussyfoot around the issue because theyd be unaware how often you post here, how self depreciating you are and just how much you use your problems as excuses.
You dont have to do all at once at once and some you need to start doing asap. You want to change, you need to start it, you need to stop looking for validation from outside and build your own.
There is a lot of sense in this.
Read through this thread, keep it bookmarked, get a permaban and start sorting your life out.
Original post by Nell90
How mant things advice wise have you started to try and implement?
How many from your other threads?
What should you do?
1, gtfo tsr, ask for a perma ban or something because you seem to lack the capability to stay off using your own will.
2. Ask for more therapy/to see your therapist more often/for a different kind of therpaist. If that isnt possible using the nhs, ask uni, ask Mind, ask a charity-google ones close to you.
3. Stop asking people to do the leg work for you. You want to fix yourself? You need to do it, no amount of advice from random people on the net will help you move forward if you are unwilling to look up the ideas given, or look into the advice offered. You lack self esteem? Look up confidence building classes, its that simple. Lots of courses can be done over the internet now, including mindfulness.
4. Stop obsessing over your ex and her friend, stop obsessing over what your friends think of you, use all that time you spend obsessing into looking into bettering yourself, to getting help and to working on your issues.
5. Stop using your mh issues as an excuse. Look up the definition of 'reason' and then 'excuse'. Yes your mh issues are a reason that make lofe genrally harder but you keep using them as a barrier not to help yourself aka as an excuse.
6. This is an optional one. Get a hobby. You dont know what to do? Look up sports clubs/groups in your area, try one out. If you dont like it, try something else. You find something you like, it will build your confidence.
This is all stuff a therapist would say but would more than likely pussyfoot around the issue because theyd be unaware how often you post here, how self depreciating you are and just how much you use your problems as excuses.
You dont have to do all at once at once and some you need to start doing asap. You want to change, you need to start it, you need to stop looking for validation from outside and build your own.
How many from your other threads?
What should you do?
1, gtfo tsr, ask for a perma ban or something because you seem to lack the capability to stay off using your own will.
2. Ask for more therapy/to see your therapist more often/for a different kind of therpaist. If that isnt possible using the nhs, ask uni, ask Mind, ask a charity-google ones close to you.
3. Stop asking people to do the leg work for you. You want to fix yourself? You need to do it, no amount of advice from random people on the net will help you move forward if you are unwilling to look up the ideas given, or look into the advice offered. You lack self esteem? Look up confidence building classes, its that simple. Lots of courses can be done over the internet now, including mindfulness.
4. Stop obsessing over your ex and her friend, stop obsessing over what your friends think of you, use all that time you spend obsessing into looking into bettering yourself, to getting help and to working on your issues.
5. Stop using your mh issues as an excuse. Look up the definition of 'reason' and then 'excuse'. Yes your mh issues are a reason that make lofe genrally harder but you keep using them as a barrier not to help yourself aka as an excuse.
6. This is an optional one. Get a hobby. You dont know what to do? Look up sports clubs/groups in your area, try one out. If you dont like it, try something else. You find something you like, it will build your confidence.
This is all stuff a therapist would say but would more than likely pussyfoot around the issue because theyd be unaware how often you post here, how self depreciating you are and just how much you use your problems as excuses.
You dont have to do all at once at once and some you need to start doing asap. You want to change, you need to start it, you need to stop looking for validation from outside and build your own.
Original post by Meyrin
There is a lot of sense in this.
Read through this thread, keep it bookmarked, get a permaban and start sorting your life out.
Read through this thread, keep it bookmarked, get a permaban and start sorting your life out.
Agree with the above. Since I have few sessions with my counsellor/therapist atm, I want to keep a support network open. I'm not going to stop overnight for sure. So I'm not banning myself from TSR.
I will try not to make 'obsessive' threads anymore however, at least not in the same frequency. I will keep residence on the MH Support Society as they're all friendly and helpful; I'll reconsider if my activity in there becomes similarly self-destructive or harmful to other visitors.
Spoiler
Original post by Riku
-Ok
-I have anxiety, I doubt I'll ever not be a little anxious. I also have obsesive tendencies and have since birth. But I agree t's at an extreme right now so ok
-So really I should get off TSR nd stop seeing friends until I stop moaning about insomnia etc. which is basically what other people have said and I should drink more because alcohol wouldn't depress me if I wasn't already a depressng **** and it's a sign that I'm weak that it does
-I have anxiety, I doubt I'll ever not be a little anxious. I also have obsesive tendencies and have since birth. But I agree t's at an extreme right now so ok
-So really I should get off TSR nd stop seeing friends until I stop moaning about insomnia etc. which is basically what other people have said and I should drink more because alcohol wouldn't depress me if I wasn't already a depressng **** and it's a sign that I'm weak that it does
that is all nonsense, if you are prone to anxiety/obsessiveness you can't help that but you can get to a place where you can live normally, when I was younger I was absolutely crippled by my anxiety/OCD, stopped going to school, stopped doing anything and just spent hour after hour fulfilling compulsions... now I'm probably still more anxious than the average person and I have the odd minor compulsion I haven't bothered to challenge but no one I know now would guess that I've had these problems or that I still struggle with them, I've learnt to block out the anxious thoughts, to stop the panic attacks and to do what needs to be done regardless
you should stop making threads on TSR that are just rants about things when you wont listen to solutions or try an change and just twust peoples words into an insult about you, people have told you time and again obsessing over these thigns and making 20 threads wont help, and yes you should stop moaning about loads of little things when around friends, that's what your therapist and diary are for, you need to start spending your time thinking about what you are doing and having fun rather than obsessing over your feelings of inadequacy, and people will like you a lot more for it
whether or not you drink is irrelevant, I know plenty of nice people who don't drink and plenty who do, just do whatever makes you happiest and don't make a big deal of it, if you turn up to the pub and announce 'I can't drink as I get depressed and I WONT DO IT' people will go 'aww go on have a drink' etc, if you just go to the pub, go to the bar and get yourself a coke no one will say anymore about it
Original post by doodle_333
that is all nonsense, if you are prone to anxiety/obsessiveness you can't help that but you can get to a place where you can live normally, when I was younger I was absolutely crippled by my anxiety/OCD, stopped going to school, stopped doing anything and just spent hour after hour fulfilling compulsions... now I'm probably still more anxious than the average person and I have the odd minor compulsion I haven't bothered to challenge but no one I know now would guess that I've had these problems or that I still struggle with them, I've learnt to block out the anxious thoughts, to stop the panic attacks and to do what needs to be done regardless
you should stop making threads on TSR that are just rants about things when you wont listen to solutions or try an change and just twust peoples words into an insult about you, people have told you time and again obsessing over these thigns and making 20 threads wont help, and yes you should stop moaning about loads of little things when around friends, that's what your therapist and diary are for, you need to start spending your time thinking about what you are doing and having fun rather than obsessing over your feelings of inadequacy, and people will like you a lot more for it
whether or not you drink is irrelevant, I know plenty of nice people who don't drink and plenty who do, just do whatever makes you happiest and don't make a big deal of it, if you turn up to the pub and announce 'I can't drink as I get depressed and I WONT DO IT' people will go 'aww go on have a drink' etc, if you just go to the pub, go to the bar and get yourself a coke no one will say anymore about it
you should stop making threads on TSR that are just rants about things when you wont listen to solutions or try an change and just twust peoples words into an insult about you, people have told you time and again obsessing over these thigns and making 20 threads wont help, and yes you should stop moaning about loads of little things when around friends, that's what your therapist and diary are for, you need to start spending your time thinking about what you are doing and having fun rather than obsessing over your feelings of inadequacy, and people will like you a lot more for it
whether or not you drink is irrelevant, I know plenty of nice people who don't drink and plenty who do, just do whatever makes you happiest and don't make a big deal of it, if you turn up to the pub and announce 'I can't drink as I get depressed and I WONT DO IT' people will go 'aww go on have a drink' etc, if you just go to the pub, go to the bar and get yourself a coke no one will say anymore about it
1. Ok, glad to hear you beat your anxiety and OCD doodle
Give me time, ok? Rome wasn't built in a day and that.
2. Agree.
a)Made too many threads on same thing
b) sometimes too scared to put them into action
c) Sometimes thread is subconscious excuse to procrastinate from eg a deadline
d) When people try to help sometimes I listen sometimes I managed to **** my head into thinking you're all lying so lash out, 'tis the illness talking (but my fault, words still coming from my mouth)
3. I don't really moan to my friends...I dtstanced myself from some of them over this. The true friends have stayed in my life though. Even my closest friends got...a bit freaked out by my heart disease OCD (which effectively caused health anxiety) but stuck by me, and I know they've had their fair few problems/difficulties/tragedies over the years and helped them.
I'm not sure where people got this idea :/ I didn't moan, I tried to explain to some friends as I got closer about my personal life (as in my mood, been in a bad place)...and they now seem to have completely ignored it. It's not like I launch into 'my story' every time someone says 'have a drink'. Others, however, cut me out or started treating me like a kid or the social reject of the group for not doing it.
As for my ex, she did talk about him enough to make me think she had the hots for him over me. But again, I will work on this.
I moan to TSR so I don't have to moan to people IRL. The problem's I've moaned so much I've ended up behind on work and not talking much to people IRL so yeah it's counter-productive. I'd be much better socialising it seems
4. I'm sure there are. Just some of mine were very judgmental, especially at college. I'd be trying to frame my decision in a fairly low-key/positive way 'I've got a big thing for J20 these days you know!' or 'tbh I feel soo much better in the morning when I stick to 1!' (didn't go down well) if I had to 'sorry working tomorrow' (some people being dicks saying 'I'm up at 5 and I'm still going to town tonight you fanny' or similar then I might feel weak for not going). Only my best buds would know, I'd say 'mate I'm staying off the booze tonight, not feeling great', something like that. If I really had to, I'd cop out of an event but I try not to do that anymore as it becomes an avoidance cycle.
I still do it a lot for all nighters out for similar reasons+they're losing their appeal.
Peer pressure drinking in college me a lasting bad assumption in uni. One which I've now fed with a billion threads ignoring people saying 'you don't have to do it'
Again got to work on that: 'you can't please all the people all the time'. Still feel like lots of people will give you a funny look when they find out you're not a big drinker, at least where I'm from. It feels like the way adults are expected to spend their playtime.
I try not to be judgmental of people who enjoy get pissed regularly (some of my mates mark it on the calendar every Saturday ngiht eg, some may do 3-day benders). But it is frustrating when I've had bad past experience.
I guess what I'm trying to say is, TSR gets the ****ty end of how I feel so my mates don't have to?
But sorry; I will try to cut down, or at least think it through first.
Ill be lurking MHSS now
You're selfish, self-centred, needy, attention-seeking, desperate, clingy, naive, ignorant and plain annoying. You overthink absolutely everything but never actually listen to anyone else and take on their advice. Everytime I see a thread from you I know exactly what it's going to be - moaning and whinging about how you're not good enough. So gtfo of TSR and sort yourself out.
Sounds like you have an anxiety disorder.
Perhaps some esteem issues as well.
Perhaps some esteem issues as well.
Original post by eelnais
You're selfish, self-centred, needy, attention-seeking, desperate, clingy, naive, ignorant and plain annoying. You overthink absolutely everything but never actually listen to anyone else and take on their advice. Everytime I see a thread from you I know exactly what it's going to be - moaning and whinging about how you're not good enough. So gtfo of TSR and sort yourself out.
...I see.
Well we're getting closer to an objective list of things to work on. Naive and ignorant, please elaborate. Thank you, I guess.
Original post by keromedic
Sounds like you have an anxiety disorder.
Perhaps some esteem issues as well.
Perhaps some esteem issues as well.
Both mate, but working to get it under control. Hope you have a good day
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