Don't worry about making friends at uni it's really easy, well it was in my experience. Be yourself, don't be all fake. Be open minded and proactive in freshers week, get out there and meet people - don't sit about if you don't click with people instantly.
From what you say you are doing all the right things and putting yourself out there which is the main thing and i'd say keep doing that. The only thing I would be tempted to say is relax, don't try too hard or get hung up in classifying relationships. Often friendships just happen randomly really and theres no set formula by which they can be constructed or whatever. In addition, unis also have good conselling or lsitening services that might be able to help you with depression.
awwww i found this post quite sad i think what you said you have been doing is great and you have tried everything most people would tell you to do to make friends, so as someone else said on here, try and carry on with what you are doing, smiling alot helps, even if maybe you dont feel like smiling, make sure you look approachable and friendly, im sure you will make some good friends in your final year,dont give up mate,
Some of you may be concerned about this, and I was too. I am going on to my 3rd year of uni and I still have not made any good friends. I've tried societies, clubs, union socials, even religious society events, but i've only made weak acquaintances who i would probably see once a month, nothing more.
Can someone give advice on how to make meaningful, good friends? I'm really low and I have moderate-severe depression.
Just chat to people. Find people who are interested in the same stuff as you are, not necessarily through societies.
Hunt down those weak acquaintances, and drag them all down the pub. At the same time.
Erm...that's about it. I know where you are coming from, and it's not always easy. Perhaps you need to deal with the depression first, before you can pull yourself out of the rut?
Hi Rugar, Some people are just shyer and quieter than others and maybe you are one of those. It's hard to predict who will be your friends- it just happens and you click with people. It will happen to you, it's just hard to make it happen on demand. It will happen and probably not when you are looking for it or when you expect it to.
Are you going to go back to halls in your 3rd year? Maybe this will help, just increase the amount of people you are with.
I say give up on your uni mates and make friends with people away from the uni
try mates boards like
gumtree.com
move that
alike minds
My space
I gave them all a go when I realised I had selfish scum for friends at college/home, now my life seems to be overflowing with good mates, and dont let anyone tell you its sad because its not. Whats worse, hanging out with people just because you 'have to' and theres no one else or hanging out with people you've actually chosen to?
Some of you may be concerned about this, and I was too. I am going on to my 3rd year of uni and I still have not made any good friends. I've tried societies, clubs, union socials, even religious society events, but i've only made weak acquaintances who i would probably see once a month, nothing more.
Can someone give advice on how to make meaningful, good friends? I'm really low and I have moderate-severe depression.
Societies.
Also, make your health concerns to the uni when you get there! I can't stress this enough. They have tons of counsellors who you can meet with and will help you no end, especially if you having troubles fitting in.
The worst thing you can do, is let it get the better of you and try and suffer in silence.
In terms of making friends, most of them will be forged by your social activites as well as the subjects you are taking, hence the reason why interaction outside of the class-room is important. If it means having to ask someone you barely know if they want to go for a drink or something to eat - then do it! This is the only way they'll get to know the real you.
The main thing you have to appreciate is that, everyone is just like you! They also are miles away from home and looking for friends too.
Don't try too hard, but don't do nothing either. Be yourself and take it at an easy pace. Friends will come naturally because of your own personality. This can only be achieved by being yourself and making yourself open to others.
Hey Rugar!
You seem to be doing the right things for making friends...ne1 who doesnt want to be your friend sure doesnt deserve to be.
But if this helps, try being yourself, be more relaxed around people, try to be open aswell.
I hope this year turns out to be the best
x
I think sorting out your depression would be the first thing. Please don't take this the wrong way but when you meet new people they will not know that you have depression. If their first impression of you is that you are sour faced, dull, boring, etc. then they will not want to know the real you. If someone was to meet the happy you then they are more likely to think, yeah, I like this guy.
The best thng you can do is try to solve the depression. If you can, try to develop an optimistic view of life, and your self - people tend to gravitate towards optimism.
Don't try to change your self too much because this comes across as being fake/insinsere, but change your attitude.
Last edited by wave_o_mutilation : 01-08-2006 at 20:48.
if they dont like you they just dont like you man, thing is you cnat make people be mated with you, you say you wnat meaningful friends, i say that in this day and age, you cant have friends like the ones in the films, i mean i wish i have a friend like the ones you see in the movies but its just gonna happen, i guess sufferinf depression is pretty bad and i hope you get well, try not to force it, come to think about it i will be begging uni soon and will need to make new friends, dont really know how i got my mates in school, i think they were forced to be my mates lol as we are all the same classes lol,
anyhow good luck man and the pic u put up was not th ebest man, makes you look a little scary :P jokes
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i think what you said you have been doing is great and you have tried everything most people would tell you to do to make friends, so as someone else said on here, try and carry on with what you are doing, smiling alot helps, even if maybe you dont feel like smiling, make sure you look approachable and friendly, im sure you will make some good friends in your final year,dont give up mate, 
